Learning to Live Again
by OperaGurl04
Summary: Edward leaves Bella in New Moon, but one of the Cullens can't stay away and Bella soon makes a new discovery about herself. My rewrite of New Moon with Jasper replacing Jacob. NOW COMPLETE
1. Unlikely Companion

_Okay, amazing fans of my writing. Here's the deal. I'm updating some/most/all of the prior chapters of this story. No HUGE changes that I'm aware of right now; just some minor tweaking/editing. I will also be finishing this story! Yes, I'm finally finishing._

_What I've decided to do is end this story at a place where it makes sense. Then I will complete my other two stories I'm working on and come back for a SEQUEL. You WILL get a vampire baby in the sequel, I can guarantee it._

_Thank you all so much for your patience with me during the updates that have at times taken FOREVER. I appreciate it greatly._

_Also I hope that you do take some time to read my other works Emmett's Undoing & Becoming Bella. They are NOTHING like this story because I do like to experiment with my writing. That also means Bella gets to experiment as well. _

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter One: Unlikely Companion

I stared up at the moon. Even in all my pain, all my numbness, all my regret and self-loathing, I noticed that it lit the night sky beautifully. It was sparkling. Sparkling in the night the way that **he** did in the sunlight. I could literally feel the hole in my chest growing bigger, becoming pure space. There was nothing left to me.

No more tears came, and I did not know why. Maybe I had no more tears to shed. Maybe it wasn't worth crying over anymore. Or maybe I had known all along that this day would eventually come. Not every love story had a 'happily ever after.' What made mine so special? I was just another teenager in love with the wrong boy.

This wasn't the only reason for the sudden stop to my tears. I felt his presence without needing to look up from my position on forest floor. I was still lying on my side with my legs curled tightly into my chest. I'm sure that I resembled a drowned rat, but I couldn't find enough feeling in me to care right now. I had never been one to be concerned with my appearance anyway; why start now? Jasper didn't care what I looked like. He knew the state that he would find me in.

"Bella," he whispered as he crouched in front of me. I didn't move, didn't bother to look up at him. Jasper- being the ever patient vampire that he was- reached down with his left hand and moved the strands of hair from my face. I couldn't feel the cold of his skin anymore. "I'm sorry."

I didn't want to speak, I didn't want to feel, I didn't want to see anyone right now. He knew this, of course. Jasper could feel everything that I was or was not feeling at this moment… at every moment. I did not envy the ability that he brought to the Cullen family.

My former family. They had made the decision to leave me behind. They had pretended to love me for the past year, made me fall in love with all of them- even Rosalie. Now they were off to bigger and better things. I was stuck here in Forks, crumbling into a shell of my former self. The minutes had turned to hours, aging me slowly.

"Please stop," Jasper whispered, his slight southern accent begging me. "Please stop blaming yourself, hating yourself. It hurts me so much, Bella." He stayed crouched beside me, but we were no longer touching. I blinked once, trying to focus on his face. He looked pained, confused- just like me. "I don't understand all that you're feeling right now," he continued, gauging my reaction as only he could. "It's all so strong but it's also jumbled. I was halfway to the Canadian border and I could feel your emotions exploding. I told Alice that I was going hunting, because I'm not supposed to be here. We all promised him that we would leave you be. I couldn't just let you stay here and feel this way, though. This is all my doing."

I heard all that he said but did not respond. I had nothing to say. I felt nothing- was nothing- so I had nothing left to offer. I had no opinions, no thoughts, and no views. At some point during his explanation of how he came to be in the forest with me, he had guided me into a sitting position where I was leaning against a tree trunk. I didn't even know he was doing this until he had already done so. No control over my own body.

"Please say something, Bella. Let me know that you can hear me, that you understand what I'm saying to you." He was begging again. "Even if it's only to yell at me or to curse me."

I lifted my eyes from the ground and looked into his. They were not black anymore. He had hunted, so now they were gold. They were beautiful again. I spoke as he recoiled from my gaze; I told you there was nothing left to me. He couldn't even bare to look at my emptiness, my shell. "I don't understand anything anymore, Jasper." He didn't speak, so I continued. "I don't know what's happening or what I'm feeling or what I'll do now. I knew that **he** was keeping something from me, but I never expected it was this. I didn't think that you all would leave me. I wasn't prepared."

"I know that you weren't, Bella. That's why I had to come back. When Edward told us what he had decided, we were all in shock. None of us wanted to leave, especially Edward and Alice. Carlisle told us that it was ultimately Edward's decision. I know that it's because of how I reacted the other night, though. I'm so sorry for my actions." Jasper couldn't look me in the eyes anymore and was now staring at the wet ground of the forest.

"It's not your fault, Jasper. We all know that I'm a klutz, and I never expected you to try and hide who you are. I would never want any of you to do that! I love all of you so much for the persons that you were when you were human and the persons that you are now as vampires. I love you all as individuals and as a family. I loved you as my family." I finished my rambling in a whisper. I couldn't remember where I was leading my conversation, so I chose not to finish instead.

"You are our family, Bella. Please don't doubt that. Don't doubt yourself. We all think of you as a part of our family," he tried to explain. It didn't make sense.

"How can you even say that with a straight face?" He looked shocked. I immediately regretted causing that reaction in Jasper; however, I couldn't stop myself. "You don't hurt your family like this, Jasper! You don't leave one of your own behind in pain… confused and hurt. Imagine doing that to Alice, Jasper. Could you live with yourself? If you left her heart-broken and lonely?!" The tears were streaming down my cheeks again.

"I could never, Bella!" he yelled back at me. He was standing right in front of me now, hands barely grazing my arms, making sure that I looked into his eyes. "And I'm not doing it to you, either. I came back, didn't I?" His voice was barely a whisper, but I could feel the emotions in it as much as he could feel my own.

"Why are you the only one?" I sobbed out, collapsing against him.

"Because it had to be me, Bella. Edward's keeping a close eye on Alice, Esme and Carlisle are trying to keep the family together, Rosalie is oblivious… Emmett's feeling too betrayed to act," he rationalized. I knew that he wasn't finished. "It had to be me, because… well, it was my mistake to fix."

"I'm not something for you to fix, Jasper. I'm not a car, I can't be fixed. I- I will never run right again," I said with an exhausted shrug.

Before Jasper could respond, he turned quickly and placed himself in a crouched position in front f me. I couldn't hear anything, but it was obvious that he was listening to someone or something in the woods. "It's late. Your father has a search party looking for you."

"I don't want to be found." I looked at the ground again, wishing that I could somehow sink into it and stay there forever. Forever. That word once held so much promise for me, so much love, and so much opportunity. Now it was a threat.

"You have to be found, Bella. You have to go back to the normal life you had before you got dragged into our freak show." Jasper grabbed my arms and pulled me up with him. He didn't let go; I didn't have the strength to stand on my own feet.

"I can't lose you too, Jasper. It's not fair." I reached out and grabbed his hands in my own, not letting him move away from me. I was desperate to not lose all of them. I couldn't bear the loneliness that would result. I had been the product of a broken family once; I didn't believe that I could survive it a second time.

He seemed to be having some sort of inward struggle as well. Jasper didn't want to leave me in pain but felt an obligation to **his** wishes. **His** wishes that I were left all alone. Unprotected. Unable to care for myself. Unloved. Unwanted.

"I won't leave you tonight, Bella," he said with surety in his voice. He had made his own decision. "I'll meet you at your house in an hour. That will give you enough time to reassure Charlie that you're okay and get cleaned up. We'll figure this out, Bella."

I blinked again and Jasper was gone. I stood there, suddenly feeling the cold of the weather and rain. I felt pain coursing through my entire body and immediately regretted not moving for the past few hours. I felt a wave of comfort wash over me, reassurance from Jasper that he would meet me tonight. I had never appreciated his gift so much; he knew what I was feeling and how to make the pain and doubt more bearable.

I slowly and tentatively took a step forward, toward the yells of my name and the beams of light coming from what had to be flashlights. I tried to yell out to them, but my voice wouldn't work anymore. I trudged forward slowly, wincing with every movement. My legs trailed behind me slower than my body, feeling like pins and needles were being pushed into me. When I had walked a few yards from where I had been lying in a heap of misery, I saw my father walk through a path between two tall trees.

Charlie's face brightened with the discovery of his only daughter. He rushed over to me, slipping out of his police jacket and sliding it over my shoulders. As soon as I saw my father, tears started spilling from my eyes again and I fell against his taller frame, once again demanding support.

I did still have a family to think about. Although a huge part of my life had abandoned me, there was Charlie and Renee and Phil to think about. I needed to take care of myself for them… not because **he** had asked me to. I allowed a small but brief smile to cross my lips when I felt Charlie scoop me up into his arms and walk us toward our home.


	2. The Fog Clears

_Okay, amazing fans of my writing. Here's the deal. I'm updating some/most/all of the prior chapters of this story. No HUGE changes that I'm aware of right now; just some minor tweaking/editing. I will also be finishing this story! Yes, I'm finally finishing._

_What I've decided to do is end this story at a place where it makes sense. Then I will complete my other two stories I'm working on and come back for a SEQUEL. You WILL get a vampire baby in the sequel, I can guarantee it._

_Thank you all so much for your patience with me during the updates that have at times taken FOREVER. I appreciate it greatly._

_Also I hope that you do take some time to read my other works Emmett's Undoing & Becoming Bella. They are NOTHING like this story because I do like to experiment with my writing. That also means Bella gets to experiment as well. __J_

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

* * *

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Two: The Fog Clears

I looked at my reflection for a long time. Although I had wiped away the tear streaks and dirt from my face, the girl staring back at me was unrecognizable. I had always been pale, so this was no surprise. The difference in the person that I used to be and the person that I was now was mainly shown through the vacant, puffy eyes that had dark circles underneath them. I had aged. Not in the standard way that an eighteen year old ages, but in a way that someone has aged after they have come home from battle or after they had experienced a life-changing loss.

Sighing, I stepped away from the mirror and opened the door to the hallway. As I made my way slowly to my bedroom, I chuckled at the fact that there would be a different, male vampire waiting for me tonight than the previous year. **His** brother. He would be waiting for a different reason, though. Out of guilt and pity and obligation.

I quietly reflected on the events that had recently taken place. I had been broken by the love of my life, gotten lost in the woods, been found by my former love's brother, been taken home by my worried father and immediately thrown into a mixture of concerned questions and actions. Charlie had called Billy who had then recruited half the reservation to come looking for me. I didn't admit it aloud, but it was nice to know that so many people cared about me.

Jake had been sitting on my porch, head in his hands when my father carried me up to the house. I had never seen a smile so big grace his face when he saw me. He had rushed forward, almost knocking my father and me to the ground. One of the other doctors from the hospital that my former surrogate father used to work for was also there. He gave me the once-over, confirmed that I would not die and that nothing was broken… nothing that he could see anyway.

After receiving a somewhat clean bill of health, I had been left alone to clean myself up and clear my head. When I entered the bathroom, Charlie and Billy were still downstairs talking. I could hear them; Charlie was explaining to Billy that the Cullen family had moved to California because of a job offer that Carlisle had received. What a joke. They couldn't last five minutes in the sunny atmosphere of California. None of them would want to be near all that chaos either. Although no one could tell by their appearances, they were simple; they belonged here… with me.

When I finally emerged from the bathroom and walked out into the hallway after a shower and change of clothes, I could hear soft snoring coming from Charlie's room. I realized that it was well after two in the morning, and he would need to be leaving for work in less than four hours. I immediately felt guilt rising in the pit of my stomach for worrying him and causing him extra stress. Had I not put Charlie through enough with my little field trip to Phoenix and face-off with the evil vampire James? It was never-ending. I was forever disappointing the people that I loved. It was just another fuck-up to add to my growing list.

I understood now what my former bronze-haired god had meant when he told me that I was no good for him. I only caused people worry and stress and pain. I was no good for anyone. Faces flashed through my mind… Charlie upset when I told him that I didn't want to be stuck in Forks with him, Renee worried when I was in the hospital because of James, Jake near tears sitting on my porch, **him** fighting against his base instincts while attempting to save my life, and finally **his** family looking on with pity as I looked up at them from their living room floor with blood dripping from my arm.

Still in a daze, I walked into my bedroom only to meet Jasper's disapproving gaze. He was leaning against my window, waiting for me to enter the room. I was thankful that he wasn't perched in the rocking chair. I have a feeling that he knew whose spot that was, though. Jasper wouldn't do anything to hurt me even more than I already was. He wanted to stay with me and protect me. Shaking his head, he pushed himself away from the wall and walked towards me. In a shocking move, he gently took my hands in his own and slouched so he could look into my eyes. "I told you to stop, Bella. Stop being so upset with yourself and hating yourself. You do not hurt people. Charlie is so elated that you are safe and sound and home with him. I wish I knew how to make you see that."

I ignored Jasper's words and pulled my hands from his grasp. Without saying anything, I crawled underneath the covers in my bed. I was still cold even after the hot shower I had just taken. I lay on my side, facing Jasper. He was now sitting at my desk with the chair turned toward me. I was relived that I didn't need to announce my confusion to him. He knew the questions that I was too afraid to speak; he knew the answers as well.

"The others know that I'm here now. I didn't tell them what happened to you after **he** left; I'm sure that they all have their own assumptions on that. Alice probably is the most accurate. **He** doesn't know that I'm with you, though. It's going to stay that way, Bella. **He's** already out of the country, heading to Europe to visit some of Carlisle's old stomping grounds. **He** thought it would be far enough away from you and all of us so that **he** could clear **his** head."

The words sunk into my skin- registered into my head- and I felt an overwhelming surge or anger and bitterness surface. "**His** decision seemed to be pretty much made this afternoon, so I don't understand what in the world **he **would need to clear up." I turned, punching my pillow into submission. I had never felt so outraged before, even toward James when he was trying to kill me. "Whatever! I hope **he** has a lovely time in Europe while I'm stuck here trying to pick up the pieces of all that **he** broke and left behind. As if it's even worth it anymore." I threw myself back into the center of my bed, allowing the covers and pillows to surround and encase me.

"Bella, don't say that. Of course it's worth it. You are worth it! You are an amazing person, and the world would be less without you," Jasper told me. He moved slowly across my room and sat on the foot of my bed. I did not have his ability, but I could tell that he was nervous as he placed his hand on top of my blanket and slowly stroked it up and down my leg. He was trying to offer whatever small amount of comfort that he could. It was not long before I felt the familiar calming waves seep into my body. This was wrong. He shouldn't be here helping me, comforting me.

"Jasper, I don't really feel like talking anymore. I'm sorry that I made you stay here for me. You should go back to Alice. Forget you ever met me," I advised the older boy in the room. I almost started crying again when he winced at my words. I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn't help myself from lashing out at anything and anyone related to my former love. I would never speak **his** name again.

He cleared his throat before answering. "Alice asked me to stay with you for awhile. Until you feel better, that is. I would like to if you don't mind," he asked permission.

"Do whatever you want, Jasper. It's a free country. Just don't do it as an obligation to your dense brother to make sure that** his** broken toy is okay." I had never heard myself sound so angry, so hateful. I recognized the voice but not the person behind it. I did not know the person that was speaking right now. I rolled over to face away from Jasper and hugged my pillow close to my body. I didn't close my eyes, because I knew that I would not find sleep tonight. I didn't know if I would find sleep ever again without the company of **him**. When **he** had first told me that **he** watched me sleep, it had briefly bothered me. Now I didn't know what to do without** him** here with me.

Jasper- of course- felt the loneliness creeping up in me, because he moved himself so that he was lying behind me without actually touching me. He was on top of the blankets, but I still shivered when I felt him next to me. Like the weak masochist that I am, I immediately felt comforted by the familiarity of the cold body next to me.

We both lay there for a few minutes, adjusting to being in the same bed. I am sure that he was also adjusting to my cocktail of emotions. Hurt, anger, doubt, clarity, relief, comfort, anxiety, fear. I had never been on such a tailspin. I knew that I would not survive this break-up- this betrayal- alone. And while I did not care if I survived, I knew that my father would never be the same if I didn't. I made the decision to fight, and I asked the one question that I knew would allow me to do so. "Will you stay until I don't need you anymore?" I whispered in a child-like voice to the person who would soon- unknowingly- become my new lifeline.

"I'll try," Jasper answered, honestly. It was comforting that he would not make a promise to me. Promises meant nothing to me anymore; they were easily broken.


	3. High Strung

_Okay, amazing fans of my writing. Here's the deal. I'm updating some/most/all of the prior chapters of this story. No HUGE changes that I'm aware of right now; just some minor tweaking/editing. I will also be finishing this story! Yes, I'm finally finishing._

_What I've decided to do is end this story at a place where it makes sense. Then I will complete my other two stories I'm working on and come back for a SEQUEL. You WILL get a vampire baby in the sequel, I can guarantee it._

_Thank you all so much for your patience with me during the updates that have at times taken FOREVER. I appreciate it greatly._

_Also I hope that you do take some time to read my other works Emmett's Undoing & Becoming Bella. They are NOTHING like this story because I do like to experiment with my writing. That also means Bella gets to experiment as well. __J_

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

* * *

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Three: High Strung

I felt a gust of wind come through the window and reach over to where I lay mostly underneath my blanket. Without opening my eyes, I took in my surroundings. I was haphazardly strung across my bed, lying on my stomach. I could feel that my left leg was no longer under the blanket that had basically gathered at my waist. Another restless night, I see. I hadn't had one of those for awhile. As I slowly regained consciousness, I realized that I was alone in my bed. The cold, comforting body had left me. Panic rose into my throat as I quickly sat up and turned toward the window. I was barely able to stop the sob of relief from releasing itself into my bedroom.

"I went for an early hunt this morning," he answered my unspoken question. "I didn't mean to worry you, but it was necessary." He must've felt my confusion, because he continued. "If I'm going to be around you today, I want to make sure that I'm not thirsty. It will make it easier for both of us."

I nodded slowly and went to move on my bed. I immediately winced at the pain I felt in my back and legs from the night before. Instantly Jasper had walked over to my bed where he was now perched on the side and pulled the blanket completely off of me in order to touch my skin. He sent pulses of comfort and strength into my body, trying to make me feel better.

I normally would have blushed at the close contact with someone, but there was nothing intimate about Jasper's touch. He was simply trying to help me through the pain and discomfort. A few minutes went by with neither of us speaking; it felt like an eternity. I started to feel less strain on my body, causing Jasper to stop his administrations. An awkward silence started.

It was then that he noticed our positioning and my lack of clothing. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't naked. I was wearing a pair of short pajama bottoms and a camisole that I had slept in last night. Jasper looked up at me and smirked, feeling my indifference. Like it mattered. He had always thought of me as a sister, plus I was covered up in all the necessary areas. He could see more of me at the beach.

I chuckled softly under my breath. Jasper at the beach. That would be a sight. I tried picturing it in my mind and was surprised at the feeling of admiration and attraction that overcame me. I looked into Jasper's eyes to see that he had already felt what I was feeling. I quickly jumped out of my bed, tripping when my foot got caught in the discarded comforter. I landed with a soft thud on my carpeted floor and glanced up at the vampire stifling laughter on my bed.

"Emmett was right. You are a funny human," he teased me.

I felt a wave of nausea wash over me and had to quickly crawl across the hallway to the bathroom. I think I spent fifteen minutes hugging the porcelain toilet while crying and heaving until my entire body was sore again. After emptying my stomach of my prior weeks' meals, I finally calmed myself enough to sit back against the tub. Once again I allowed the cold to comfort me.

I felt Jasper near me before I noticed him standing in the doorway. And I felt the waves of comfort. I didn't know a lot about Jasper's ability; however, I had always assumed that it would take quite a bit of energy for him to exert so much emotion onto another person. He must be so drained by now, wasting all his energy on trying to make me feel at ease when it simply would not happen.

"Stop, please," I begged him. "Stop trying to fix me, Jazz. I already told you that I can't be fixed. There is no use in you trying; I'll just disappoint you," my confession of fear ended in a sad whisper. I hung my head and allowed the tears fall down my cheeks again.

He came to sit next to me, leaning against the bath tub as well even though it was completely unnecessary. I felt the side of his body up against mine and shuddered. Not from the cold, but from the closeness. I knew that it wouldn't last for long, and I was scared for it to end. I wanted to savor every bit of touch I could get from the Cullens while it was available.

"I don't want to be without you guys, Jasper," I admitted. "I love you all so much; it's not fair." I stopped for a moment to regain my composure. While I was sure that he could understand the words I was saying through my tears, I could at least make myself sound bearable for Jasper's sake. "Since I moved here, I finally feel like I am where I belong. I know that I have Charlie, but your family is the main reason behind that. I may not be like you, but I am a part of your family whether **he** wants to admit it or not. I'm Alice's best friend, Emmett's little sister, Rosalie's competition, and your responsibility. Carlisle and Esme are as much my parents as my own."

I didn't mention the other person in the family, and Jasper didn't make me. **He** was my soul mate, and we both knew it. If there was one thing that never needed to be spoken, it was that I belonged to **him**. **He** whose name I couldn't speak… and would never speak again.

"You're not just a part of our family, Bella. You hold us together," he stated. I turned my head to look at Jasper who was staring at our reflections in the large mirror above the sink. I almost laughed the difference; he was so beautiful and I was nothing compared to him. "Alice has never been as close to Rosalie as she is to you, and it's healthy for Rosalie to finally have someone she's jealous of to put her in place. Emmett has always felt like he doesn't measure up to us, so it's good for him to see that you admire and need him. And knowing you has finally made me understand the importance of our lifestyle, the importance of living among humans without hurting them. I couldn't deal with knowing I had hurt you in any way, physically or emotionally."

"You're the only one who seems to care," I said with bitterness dripping from my voice. I met Jasper's bright eyes in the mirror as he sighed and shook his head at me.

"You know that's not the truth. **He's** trying to keep you safe. From our lifestyle, from us."

"I'm safer with **him** here. You know that. Jasper, what happens if Victoria comes back for me and none of you are here? I'm toast. How would** he** feel then?!" My voice had risen with my anger. All the comfort waves Jasper had sent me for the last eight hours were faded and my true feelings were starting to surface now. Hurt, confusion, denial, anger. I saw Jasper flinch at the mixture of emotions that were radiating from me. "I'm sorry, but I can't control it anymore."

"I don't expect you to, Bella," he answered me. He reached his hand over to hold mine. We both sat there for a few minutes, looking at each other through the mirror. I was trying to hold my emotions at bay for his benefit. It was the least I could do since he had selflessly come back to help me get through this trying time... this test of my will, my character.

I lay my head on his broad shoulder and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath before speaking. "How will I get through this, Jasper?"

"You'll take one breath at a time, and you'll keep doing that until it doesn't hurt as much. It will always hurt, but in time it will be less severe."

"Jasper, I know that you have seen a lot throughout your years and that you have seen a lot of heartache and felt it as well. This isn't the same. This isn't a simple break-up. This is my entire future… gone. This is me left behind; there's no rising from the ashes for me anymore. I don't have any fight left in me."

"You have more fight than you think," he said with a slight chuckle. "I'm not the only person who believes that you don't give yourself enough credit, Bella. You will get through this; I know that you will. You will fight and you will prosper. You'll be a better person because of it."

"And you'll stay with me. I'm not ready for you to go yet." It was barely a whisper, but I knew that he could hear me. He could hear me speak, he could hear my heart beat, he could even hear my heart stop as I waited for his answer.

"I'll stay, Bella. I'll stay until you're ready for me to leave."

"Thank you," I said as I curled into his side. I bent my knees and threw them over his long legs as I wrapped my arms around his. We sat there on the bathroom floor well into the middle of the afternoon, motionless. I was playing the previous night over in my head, memorizing my love's face and words as **he** broke my heart. Memorizing the black depths of **his** eyes as **he** stomped on everything we had built for the past year.

I couldn't stop it again. The betrayal I felt was building up so quickly in the pit of my stomach. Jasper sat paralyzed with my sudden outburst of feelings. No longer able to control myself and hold anything back, I rose from the ground and let out a loud, high-pitched scream that echoed down my street.

Accompanying my scream was the sound of breaking glass. Before I knew it, Jasper had grabbed me in his arms and was using his body as a shield to the exploding mirror in the bathroom. When the final piece had fallen from the mirror, I looked up into his golden eyes that were showing the same confusion that I'm sure was in my own.

"What just happened, Jasper?" I asked in a frightened voice.

"I think we just experienced how well you truly do fit in with our family, Bella," he answered with a shrug and a smirk.


	4. Trying to Understand

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Four: Trying to Understand

I looked across the table at the stoic figure in front of me. We hadn't said anything since our mishap in the bathroom. After the glass had stopped falling to the floor, Jasper scooped me up in his arms and carried me out of the room so I wouldn't get cut. I had excused myself to my room to change out of my pajamas while Jasper began cleaning up the bathroom.

It was an hour later, and we still hadn't said anything. Normally, I would bask in the comfort of not needing to speak; however, I was more than uncomfortable right now. I didn't understand what had just happened. I had lost my temper before and never caused anything to break that was near me. I thought this only happened in movies. The same movies where vampires existed.

I pulled my jean-clad legs up tightly against my chest as I stayed sitting on the wooden chair that made up one-fifth of my father's kitchen set. As if I didn't have enough going on in my head right now, I was now worrying about my newfound power.

"Bella, would you please try to relax?" Jasper asked, exasperated. "You're anxiousness is making me nauseous."

"I'm sorry, Jazz. I just don't know what's happening here. I've never done anything like that before, and it really freaked me out." I leaned back against the kitchen chair and ran my fingers through my hair in a frustrated gesture. I looked up when I heard Jasper stifle a laugh.

"Sorry, Bella, but you look so cute when you're frazzled," he said as he reached over and ruffled my hair. "It'll be okay. If you'd like, I could call Carlisle and Alice in as reinforcements. Maybe they would be able to help figure out what's going on with you."

"I don't think I'm ready yet, Jasper, but thank you. I can't face everyone yet, knowing that I never really mattered and that I was never supposed to be a permanent fixture in your lives. It would hurt too much," I explained. I dropped my eyes to my kitchen floor, the pattern of the tiling suddenly becoming more bearable than the scrutiny in Jasper Hale's gaze.

"Stop it," he said with fierceness behind his voice that I had only heard one other time. When James had been hunting me. "You should never feel that way. You are more important to all of us than anyone has been in so long. Our family doesn't make sense without you, Bella. I know that it's hard to see past all the pain right now, but everything will sort itself out in time. It has to."

"Can't you just please let me wallow in self-loathing for awhile, Jasper? If I stop, then I have to really look at this for what it is. Edward not having enough faith in our love to stay with me. Not having enough belief that I can make my own decisions when it involves my safety and who I want to spend my time with." I was getting more and more frustrated as I spoke.

I stood from my chair and began pacing the short length of the kitchen. "He treats me like a child! Just because he's lived for ninety years longer than me doesn't mean that I'm not able to make my own decisions and protect myself! I'm eighteen years old. Technically I'm older than him anyway! I have every right to do what I want and be with who I choose!" Tears were spilling freely from my eyes now and I was becoming dizzy with all the circles I was walking.

I felt the same building up of emotions in my body as I had earlier in the bathroom and Jasper stood quickly and took hold of my upper arms. He stopped my walking and stared into my eyes, trying to calm me down. I was finally able to catch my breath and allowed Jasper's manipulation of my feelings.

"How—how did you know what was going to happen?" I asked him.

"I could feel the same thing in you that I had felt earlier when the bathroom mirror broke," Jasper explained as he ushered me back to the kitchen table and made me take a seat. "Thankfully I was able to counteract your own emotions before anything could get broken again."

"Why is this happening now?" I asked, suddenly serious. I looked up at Jasper and felt comfort when he crouched down to my level.

"I don't know. Maybe how strongly you feel right now has woken something up in you or there was some sort of reaction after James bit you that hadn't surfaced yet. I can only guess at this, Bella. I don't have the answer."

"Radioactive spiders," I whispered so low that a normal person wouldn't have been able to hear me. Jasper did and I knew that he understood when I saw the sad smile cross his face. I reached forward and pulled his hard body into mine, hugging him closely to me.

Jasper was surprised by my quick action but did not pull away from me. Instead, he wrapped his strong arms around my waist and held me. Without his help, I began to feel more at ease than I had in over twenty four hours. Having Jasper stay behind with me was a comfort that I was thankful for.

We were both so wrapped up in each other that neither of us heard the door open and someone walk inside.


	5. It's Not Supposed to be Like This

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Five: It's Not Supposed to be Like This

"Bella?!"

I looked up to see the familiar face standing in the doorway of the kitchen. A flash of sadness crossed his dark eyes before he covered it with a small smile. Jacob stayed in the doorway, obviously uncomfortable with the moment he walked in on. His eyes kept darting between mine and Jasper's faces, wanting us to break apart.

I didn't want to separate myself from Jasper just yet, so when he tried to take his arms from around my waist, I held one there with my hard. He looked into my eyes and raised an eyebrow in a questioning gesture but immediately understood my decision.

I had expected Jake to make his move on me now that my soul mate had left, but I didn't think it would be so soon. I hadn't even had time to process all my feelings, let alone my newfound power. The only reason I wasn't locking myself in my room and controlling the urge to jump from my window was because Jasper had stayed behind with me against his sibling's wishes.

I felt a sudden surge of admiration toward the blond vampire that was still holding me. I really did owe him my life right now. He was holding me together when he himself was dealing with the inner turmoil of almost killing me and of being away from Alice.

"I came over as soon as school was let out. I wanted to make sure that you were doing okay," Jacob explained, breaking me out of my thoughts about Jasper.

"Thank you, Jake. That's very nice of you," I said courteously. I knew that Jacob did truly care about my well-being; however, I did suspect ulterior motives in his actions.

"I thought that you had all moved," he said as he looked at Jasper. His voice came out harsher than I appreciated. I hissed under my breath, surprising both boys in the room.

"I stayed behind to take care of the house until it was sold," Jasper lied, ignoring my contempt for Jacob. "I was also worried about Bella, so I came over to see how she was doing." Jasper finally stood from his crouching position, his arm leaving my waste as he did so. He continued to look at Jacob as he spoke. "I should actually be going back home to walk our dog."

My face scrunched in confusion as I turned to look up at Jasper's face. The Cullens didn't have a dog. What was he talking about?! I reached my hand out towards his and clutched it, pleading with him to stay. Jasper lightly squeezed my hand and I could feel Jacob watching the exchange but I didn't care.

"But Jazz—"

"I'll call you later, Bella. I promise," he whispered as his gaze bore into mine.

I gave a slight nod to Jasper and let his hand drop from mine. I watched him walk by Jacob, giving him a nod of good-bye before leaving the house with one final look back to me. When my gaze left Jasper for the other boy that was in my house, I noticed that Jacob was frowning in confusion and anger. I said nothing, just stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You and Jasper looked pretty comfortable," he mumbled under his breath, loud enough for me to hear.

"I've gotten to know the entire Cullen family very well this past year. Jasper and Emmett are both protective of me like brothers. They're a great family, and I was lucky to be a part of it," I explained to Jacob, not feeling that I needed to justify Jasper and my relationship but doing so anyway.

"It looked like more than a brother and sister to me," he mumbled again.

I stood up to face Jacob who had now entered the kitchen and was standing a foot in front of me.

"How dare you?! You have no idea what I'm going through right now, and Jasper is only being a friend to me. He's in love with my best friend, and I'm in love with his brother. I don't care what you think you saw, because I know the truth." I pushed past Jacob and started walking toward the living room. Turning back, I asked him, "Why are you here?"

Jacob turned toward me, and I noticed that his eyes were blazing with anger now. This was the first time I'd noticed that he had grown so much over the past few months. He was at least a foot taller and had even gotten bulked up more than he had been last year. He would've intimidated me if I had cared. I had faced a crazed vampire who wanted to torture me slowly on video; I could deal with Jacob Black.

"I told you, Bella. I wanted to come over and make sure you were okay after Edward just abandoned you in the woods!" Jacob walked toward me, but I held my ground except for the small flinch when I heard his name. Jacob caught this and I swear I saw a slight smirk flit across his face.

"That's not the only reason you're here, Jacob. We both know that you've just been waiting for your chance to swoop in and claim what you think should be yours. I'm not naïve; I see how you look at me when I'm with him!" I yelled at Jacob, letting my frustration from this past week come out in every word.

"Him?! You can't even say his name, Bella! Edward!" Jacob yelled in my face. I flinched again but didn't move. "Edward Cullen!" He yelled again, this time causing me to move a foot back towards the couch in the living room. I reached my hands out for the support of the piece of furniture, bracing myself for what was to come. "Edward Cullen! Your boyfriend! The guy who deserted you without looking back! The one who left you for dead in the woods!"

I grasped the couch and closed my eyes, holding them shut tightly while Jacob stood directly in front of me, our chests touching with his close proximity. I gasped at his final words and choked on a sob that finally escaped my mouth. I slowly started to sink to the ground, still clutching at the couch for support that was not there. "Stop it," I whispered, begging him not to continue.

Jacob kneeled down in front of me and reached forward, cupping my cheek with his large hand. "I'm sorry, Bella, but I need you to finally see him for what he is. He's not good enough for you, because if he ever really loved you the way you love him then he wouldn't have been able to leave you at all." Jacob paused for a moment, closing his eyes and whispering something to himself that I couldn't hear over my sobbing. "I would never leave you, Bella."

Jacob slowly started leaning in towards my face, his eyes still closed.

No! This wasn't right! It wasn't supposed to be like this! It wasn't supposed to be Jacob! In one instant, a picture flashed through my mind of a tall, lean vampire with dirty blond hair and wild eyes. Then I closed my eyes and pushed my emotions to the surface again, sending Jacob flying back onto my kitchen table, breaking it with the force.


	6. Building Trust

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Six: Building Trust

I couldn't move from where I sat slumped against the back of my couch. It had happened again. I had lost control of my anger and the next thing I knew Jacob was laying across the now broken kitchen table.

He was in shock as well, not able to move from his spot. He was looking right into my eyes, confusion and hurt masking the dark features on his face. I don't know how long we stared at each other or when I started crying again. I was shaken from my stupor when another person entered my home and put their arms around me, pulling me into a comforting hug.

I couldn't see through my tears, but I knew that it was Jasper without needing to be aware of my surroundings. He was using his power to calm me, rocking my sobbing frame back and forth until I was able to gasp for breath. I looked up from Jasper's shoulder in time to see Jacob standing and dusting himself off before slowly walking out of the house.

"Jasper, what if Ja—"

He stopped my further speaking by placing his finger over my lips. "Don't worry about what Jacob may or may not say. He's too in shock right now anyway. I'll speak with him later and explain that we haven't gotten to find out any information on your power yet. I think he'll understand."

I raised my eyebrows at Jasper's tone. He spoke as if he knew a secret that I didn't. He was so confident that Jacob wouldn't expose me.

"Trust me, Bella."

"With my life," I stated. I smiled slightly when I noticed that Jasper stilled at my confession. "It's true, Jazz. I trust you more than anyone else. I know that you would never hurt me and that you would do anything to help me. I just want you to know how much I appreciate that. And how much I appreciate you."

I took a deep breath, and suddenly everything was in slow motion. I reached my hand up toward Jasper's face and moved a strand of his curly hair out of his eyes. Most people in Forks thought that his eyes were scary, but I saw them for what they were. Honest and tormented.

"I would do anything to keep you safe as well. As much as I hate to admit it, I think that your brother is right. The safest place for you is far away from me. One of these days, I'll either expose you or cause you to get hurt or worse from defending me. It's not fair. And it's not fair for you to have to stay behind to take care of me, either." I was proud of myself for being strong enough to hold back my tears.

I knew that there was truth to my words, but I also knew that if Jasper were to leave me right now I wouldn't make it much longer. I would either fade slowly away into nothingness or I would finally snap and do something that I would never be able to regret. I just prayed that he couldn't feel how dependant I had become on his existence.

Jasper was quick to take the small opening in my rambling to speak. Damn vampires with their speedy… everything.

"You're insane if you allow yourself to think for even one moment that I would leave you right now," he stated as if it should be obvious to anyone. "I would hate myself if something happened to you while we were away. I would never be able to look at my family again, Bella. We would break. And as for you being a danger to me, the only possible threat you hold is that you would trip and fall on top of me. Which would only cause injury to you as I'm rock solid with lightning fast reflexes."

I chuckled at his light tone and was rewarded with a gentle smile from the vampire who was still holding me tight against his chest. Leaning up, I placed a soft kiss on Jasper's cold cheek before moving my face to whisper in his ear. "Thank you, Jazz."

Before he could respond, we both heard the door slam and my father's footsteps walking down the hallway and into the kitchen.

"Bella?!" Charlie yelled as he quickly turned around and found Jasper and I tangled together on the floor in the living room. His face turned from worry to an angry scowl, noticing the close proximity and comfort I felt at being in Jasper's arms. "What's going on in here? What happened to the kitchen table?"

Thank God for small favors that I was quick on my toes at the moment and could form a coherent story to give my father. "Nothing's going on, Charlie, and I'm sorry about the table. Jake came by and we got into an argument. I go so upset and frustrated with him for not listening to me that I shoved him into the table. I didn't realize that he had gained thirty pounds in muscle and the poor table just gave out."

"You shoved Jake?!" Charlie was surprised, but I honestly couldn't tell if he was surprised I had shoved a person or if he was surprised I had managed to exert physical strength without hurting myself in the process.

"I was so upset that I didn't even know what I was doing, dad. I just—I can't get a grasp on my emotions right now," I admitted to him. Unbeknownst to my father, Jasper pinched my side, signaling that he was the one that was keeping a grasp on them for me. It took all my strength not to laugh at his teasing.

"I understand that, Bells, but please apologize to Jacob. You and he have history together, and I know that he wants to be here for you right now," he explained. He was more or less staring at Jasper instead of looking at me while he was speaking.

"I'll call Jake tomorrow, after we've both had some time to cool off." I waited a minute, not moving from Jasper's arms. He knew me well enough to not try to disengage from me yet. "Dad, please just ask what's on your mind right now," I said bluntly. I was exhausted and could no longer beat around the bush.

"What's Edward's brother doing here? And why are tangled up in each other worse than you and Edward used to be?" he asked. He was now hanging up his gun holster and removing his jacket. He walked from the kitchen into the living room doorway, leaning against the frame while still scrutinizing us with his gaze.

"I'm staying behind for awhile, Chief Swan. My parents were needed in California to get the new home in order, but there were still some things to wrap up here in Forks. Since I'm taking this year off from school, it was just the most logical for me to take care of everything for them," Jasper easily explained the story he had come up with for all who were interested.

"Jasper came over today to check on me, because he knew I would be upset. He found me in tears and came over here to hug me right before you walked in, dad. That's it," I stated. I knew there was more, and I sensed that Jasper did as well. This was enough for Charlie, though.

"Okay. That makes sense," Charlie mumbled before turning and walking back into the kitchen to inspect the damaged table. I heard him say something else under his breath but couldn't quite make out the words. Jasper tensed in my arms and furrowed his eyebrows together. I knew that I would need to find out what Charlie had said to make him feel so uncomfortable.


	7. Breaking Down

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Seven: Breaking Down

Charlie had examined the kitchen table for all of five minutes before deciding that it would be best to order pizza for dinner. He had called in the order while I said good-bye to Jasper on the porch, knowing that he would be returning in the evening after a quick hunt in the forest.

I had excused myself after dinner in order to call Angela to get the homework that I had missed during my absence from school. Thankfully, it was all lessons that I had done while in Phoenix. Unfortunately this meant that I would have all evening to contemplate how much I missed my now-ex-boyfriend and how in the world I was going to survive the rest of my life without him.

People always say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I understood the general concept; however, I was going to need some more convincing to actually believe that load of crap. I would never regret our year together, but I couldn't see past the pain that I was in right now with losing my other half. Wanting to wallow in my misery, I walked over to my CD player and pressed the play button.

Nothing happened. I checked to make sure that the player was plugged in. The plug and outlet seemed fine, so I opened the lid to see if my CD had slid off the track. I took an offensive step back when I found that the CD was missing from its permanent home. I reflexively opened my desk drawer and yanked out the scrapbook that my mother had given me for my birthday.

Before opening the book- scared of what I would find- I walked backward and sat on my bed. I knew what I would find and that I should brace myself physically and emotionally. Taking a deep breath, I opened the cover and allowed another tear to fall from my eyes.

He had taken my lullaby and the pictures that I had of him. He really had taken everything that I was. Everything that we were. I screamed loudly, reveling in the echo that I could hear down the street. Unable to control my anger again, I threw the scrapbook toward my bedroom window, hoping that it would break the glass so that I could soon follow it to the ground below.

"Ow! Jeez, Bella, you throw harder than I suspected," Jasper said as he entered in through my window. My scrapbook had rebounded off his chest and fallen back onto the floor of my room. He finished climbing in and was in front of me before I could blink and adjust my eyes to the dim light coming in from outside.

I felt Jasper's now familiar arms wrap around my waist as he pulled me against him. I rested my face in shoulder, sniffling softly to stop myself from crying again. I was tired of wasting my tears on something that could no longer be repaired. The more I cried for him, the more evident it became that there was no turning back from his decision.

I pulled back slightly from Jasper, leaving our arms around each other's waists. Looking up at him, I finally said what we had both been waiting for me to realize. "It's over."

Once the words were spoken, the floodgates to my emotions would not close. My knees went out and I would've hit the floor had he not been supporting my weight. I was no longer numb; therefore, when I started crying I could feel every tear as they escaped my eyes. The pain was so unbearable that I felt as if I was floating and watching the scene before me unfold.

I could see my body slump in Jasper's arms as I started shaking with sobs and gasping for air. The sobbing and gasping soon turned into screams of agitation and moans of hurt. I cried out his name, able to finally say what I had been fearful of for the past few days.

Jasper lifted me into his arms and carried me over to my bed. He tried to lay me onto the soft mattress, but I wouldn't let him go. I clang to his shoulders, pulling him down onto the piece of furniture with me. I curled my body into his, silently begging for his strength through this inevitable event.

We both knew this would be a long night ahead of us and I was grateful that he had gone hunting before coming back to my house. There was no way I could've survived without his closeness. I clutched onto Jasper all through the night, my body never stopping the sobbing and shaking for almost seven hours. Charlie never checked on me before leaving for work. I was once again thankful that my father was as uncomfortable with confrontation and emotions as I was.

When I started hearing more activity outside my still open window, I noticed that the sun was beginning to shine into my room. I looked at Jasper's face in the sunlight and gasped. I had seen Edward in the sunlight before, but it didn't compare. The older brother had striking facial features that were only highlighted by the sparkling effect that the sun had on them. Normally I would've blushed, but I knew that Jasper was sending me as much relaxation as he could muster.

I finally took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. My sobbing had quieted. I was done crying for Edward Cullen. I leaned toward Jasper Hale's face and placed a soft kiss on his lips, thanking him for all he had done for me. When I pulled back, I was rewarded with Jasper's signature raised eyebrow, asking me to explain my actions.

"You'll never know how much you've helped me, even if you are an empath. And you'll never know how much you mean to me and how much I rely on you, Jasper. Thank you," I said, pulling myself back into his chest to hug him.

I smiled as I felt him squeeze me tighter to him and place a chaste kiss on the top of my head.


	8. A New Bounce to Bella's Step

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Eight: A New Bounce to Bella's Stop

Jasper and I lay in my bed, still holding onto each other, until the middle of the afternoon. We didn't speak but were content to be with each other, reveling in the comfort of another person who understood the pain that you were in.

When I was finally ready to emerge from the privacy of my bedroom, I stirred next to Jasper and looked up into his eyes again. He had been staring down at my face which immediately made me feel self-conscious. Lord knows how attractive I must look after having spent seven hours crying in my sleep and the larger half of the day lying in bed with a vampire.

He must have noticed my change in feeling or the blush that was creeping up onto my face, because Jasper- being the perfect gentleman that he is- offered kind words of reassurance.

"You're beautiful, Bella. I don't know if I ever truly noticed it before, but you are. Not just your looks, though. I am amazed at how open and brave you are. It makes me proud to be a part of your life," he whispered to me. I could feel his cold breath on my face and curbed my impulse to shutter against his body. His smell was so intoxicating that I had to concentrate on not letting my eyes roll into the back of my head and pass out.

Hearing Jasper's praise made me realize that I would be okay through this. I would survive the loss of my first love, and I would go on. He gave me a revised sense of self and longing. I would live. I would truly live and experience life instead of allowing another person to make my decisions for me.

I slowly and sadly untangled my limbs from Jasper and stood from my bed. I walked over to the window and stared out at my neighborhood. Since it was the middle of the afternoon, there was quiet. School hadn't been let out yet, and the adults were all working. I looked off into the woods and no longer expected someone to be watching back from them.

"Jasper, let's do something fun today," I suggested, asking permission. I didn't want to assume that he would want to continue spending time with me. I knew that he had his own life to go back to, but I wanted to be completely selfish and keep him here with me for as long as I could.

"What do you want to do, Bella?" he asked. He had risen from the bed and was standing directly behind me, peering over my shoulder to the forest as well.

"I don't really know. The only fun I ever have anymore involves shopping with Alice or running from homicidal vampires," I teased. I turned and smiled up at him when I heard his low chuckle. "What do normal kids our age do for fun?"

"Sex, drugs, rock and roll?!' he offered with a shrug.

Not fully understanding why, my mind lingered on the first option. Before I could blush, I replied in an attempt to hide my sudden feeling of lust. "So you want to get high, got to a rock concert, and then hit on the band in hopes of having a disgusting one night stand?"

"Exactly," he said simply.

"Would you settle for a movie instead?" I moved away from the window and walked to my closet, opening the doors and peering inside. I would eventually need to change out of my pajamas into some adequate clothing.

"If I have to," he responded as he walked across the room and took a seat at my desk. He began leafing through my copy of Wuthering Heights that was lying open near my computer. "Go ahead and shower and get dressed. I'll run home to change and be back before you're ready," he instructed me, enthralled with a passage in my book.

I let a soft chuckle escape my mouth as I grabbed an outfit from my closet and hurried out of my bedroom and toward the bathroom. It felt nice to laugh again and to be able to be so casual and carefree with Jasper. When I had been with Edward, I always had to be on my best behavior. I knew that with Jazz, I could be myself and he wouldn't think any less of me.

Just as I had expected, he was waiting for me in a new pair of clothes once I had finished taking a shower and getting ready. I had decided to wear a pair of dark jeans and a simple black camisole with a matching pair of ballet flats. Judging by what I had seen when I was looking outside my window, it was going to be one of those rare days in Forks where you wouldn't need a jacket. With a smile, I grabbed my purse off my desk and then reached over and grabbed Jasper's hand, pulling him up off my bed.

"Let's go, buddy," I said as I started down the stairs and hurried through my house to the outside world. Now that I was feeling like I could move on with my life, I was anxious to get started. Still clutching Jasper's cold hand in my own, I bound down the stairs of my front porch without tripping and came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the sidewalk.

Jasper and his lightning quick reflexes managed to stop without bumping into my back. I turned around, leaving his hand in mine. It felt comfortable, and I decided that Jasper must not mind either.

"I didn't know that you had a motorcycle, Jazz," I stated to him more in the form of a question than anything else. I did a double take at the sleek black sport bike parked on my street. I don't know anything about cars or motorcycles, but I think it was a Ducati. His eyes lit up when I mentioned it.

"Well, Edward didn't want me to have it around you in case you got any ideas, you know," he explained with a shrug. When I raised my eyebrows in confusion, he further explained. "He thought you get hurt if you were to want a ride."

"Of course he did," I said sadly. I could feel the frustration and anger building in me again, unable to stop it before it got out of control. I dropped Jasper's hand from mine and just stared blankly past him.

He reached forward and grabbed my hand in his again, causing me to look up into his questioning gaze. "Bella, you have so much anger and animosity toward him now. You have to let it go. He is truly trying to protect you and look out for your best interest."

For some reason, I knew that Jasper didn't fully believe himself either. "I understand that, Jazz, really. It is just so annoying that he doesn't have any faith in us." It was his turn to raise a confused eyebrow. "He didn't have faith that you would be able to control your thirst around me, when you have time and time again proven that theory wrong. And he didn't have faith that I could handle this lifestyle, when I believe that I've been holding my own pretty well for awhile now. But most importantly, he didn't have faith in love. In our love. He had no faith that we would be able to handle anything together, and he just gave up on us and walked away."

I had never been very articulate, but I was beginning to find out a lot of new things about myself. I recognized the understanding and agreement from the dashing man in front of me who was still holding my hand. "You know that I'm right, Jazz, so don't try to argue with me. Let's go. You can take me for a ride."

I pulled him toward the motorcycle and chuckled when I saw that he was shocked by my actions. I waited patiently for him to understand and grabbed the helmet off the back of the bike. Before I could put it on my head, Jasper had already taken it from my hands and fastened it on for me.

"Hold on tight, Bella."


	9. Comfort

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Nine: Comfort

I couldn't stop smiling as Jasper helped me off the back of his motorcycle. We had taken a leisurely ride around Forks which only took about five minutes before he steered toward the highway where he was able to show me how fast his pride and joy could go. I had screamed when I felt the first jolt of speed underneath my legs and clutched Jasper righter against me.

I finally understood why the Cullens loved speed so much. It felt amazing to be holding onto Jasper and feeling the wind against my skin. My new sense of freedom was only intensified by the feeling that I was flying. I closed my eyes and rested my head on Jasper's back, snuggling closer to him, taking in his scent. Yeah, I was definitely in trouble.

I couldn't think of my impending doom at the moment, though. We were making our way towards the theatre, Jasper chasing after me to retaliate against my teasing him about his unruly hair. The truth was I thought it was adorable. I just couldn't stop myself from teasing him, because he got the hottest smirk on his face when he was plotting revenge.

Jasper caught up to me at the ticket booth and pulled me back towards him, tickling my sides. I laughed and smile back at him. I had never seen him so at ease with himself, so carefree and young. It was a nice change from the seriousness that normally enveloped our lives in Forks. We were brought back to reality by the sound of nervous throat-clearing behind the glass of the ticket booth.

I looked up, holding Jasper's arms in place around my waist, to see Eric Yorkie from school staring back at us with shock written across his face.

"Hi, Eric," I said with a warm smile directed toward him. "Can we get two tickets to that new, cheesy horror flick?"

"Sure, Bella, no problem," he replied eagerly. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Did he really think that he had a chance with me still? I thought I had made it obvious that I only wanted to be his friend.

"Are there a lot of people in that show right now?" Jasper asked from behind me as he placed a bill on the counter and slid it to Eric. "We would really like some privacy, you know," he explained with a seductive edge to his voice. I felt him trace his hand up my side, stopping at my shoulder to play with a stray lock that had fallen out of place.

"Umm, there should only be a f-few people in that theatre," Eric stammered as he handed over our tickets.

"Great," Jasper replied, grabbing the tickets and steering me inside the doors in one quick motion. Once we were inside and out of Eric's line of vision, I turned to Jasper.

"What was that?!"

"He was completely jealous and fawning all over you, Bella. I could tell that it was bothering you, so I just thought that I would make it clear that he should not try to hook up with you just because you weren't with Edward anymore."

"Oh, okay." I looked down at my feet, suddenly embarrassed that I thought there was more to his actions than what he stated. I knew it was useless, but I tried to block my feelings of embarrassment and nervousness. Jasper threw his arm carelessly over my shoulder and led me toward the concession stand.

"Do you want anything, Bella?" he asked politely.

"Just a Coke and some licorice is fine," I replied. We got our snacks and drinks- although I have no clue why Jasper insisted on putting on the charade while we were going to be in a dark theatre- and walked into said dark theatre where the previews had just started.

As Eric as said, there weren't that many other people in here. It looked like there were less than seven others that had selected this movie. I chuckled, knowing that it would a cinematic masterpiece at that moment. Oh, well, it was nice to see a stupid movie with your best friend from time to time. Once again, a thought about Jasper had me over thinking things. Was he my best friend now?

Before they had left, Alice had been my best friend along with Edward of course who was so much a part of my life that it only mad sense. I hadn't spoken to either of them in days, though. Jasper and I were spending a lot of time together, and he was the one who had stayed with me to make sure that I wouldn't blame myself for Edward's departure or sink into a depression at the loss.

I guess he was my new best friend. I smiled at him and ignored his questioning stare back at me. We took our seats in the middle of the theatre and watched the ridiculous acting and horribly gruesome scenes on the screen for the next hour and a half.

We were the only couple laughing as we walked into the now dark parking lot. "That was definitely one of the worst movies I've ever seen, Bella. And I have seen many in my existence."

"What are you talking about, Jazz?! It was amazing," I said with sarcasm dripping from my voice. We both began laughing hysterically again. As we were walking over to his motorcycle, a loud ringing came from his back pocket. Jasper unconsciously answered his phone without looking to see who was calling.

"Hello?" There was a brief pause as the person on the other end of the phone identified themselves. I knew who it was going to be before he said the name. "Alice!"


	10. Uncontrollable

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Ten: Uncontrollable

I knew that she would be calling soon, wanting her husband to come home to her no doubt. I had just hoped that I wouldn't be around when the call happened. I also hoped that it wouldn't happen for at least another month or year. I liked having Jasper around, even if I was dealing with strange feelings half the time we were together.

Jasper smiled as Alice chatted on the other line, and I wished that I had vampire hearing at this moment. I was standing beside the motorcycle, waiting for him to finish his conversation with his wife a few yards away so that he could take me home. I wondered if he would stay tonight or if he would leave to go join her.

I was so wrapped up in staring at Jasper and wondering what would unravel on his phone call that I didn't notice the three boys walk toward me until they were right beside me. I looked to my left and saw Jacob Black with his friends Quil and Embry in tow.

"Hi, Bella," he said with a cool tone to his voice. Okay, so he was still angry or confused. Join the club. I had recently decided to just push my new power to the back of my mind so that I could try and enjoy life. I knew that I would eventually need to deal with it, but I wasn't going to rush that.

"Jacob. How are you?" I looked deeply into his eyes, trying to see if he still considered himself my friend, searching to see if he had told anyone else what I had done to him.

He replied with a shrug. "I'm okay. You?" He sounded concerned, and I smiled. I knew that he hadn't told anyone else.

"Same here. Thanks for asking." There was an awkward silence as I prayed that Jasper was almost done on the phone. "What movie did you guys go to?" I guess I could do the random conversing until my vampire friend returned to my side.

"The new Fast and Furious sequel. How 'bout you? What did you see? Who are you here with?" Jacob quizzed me, looking around. I knew when he spotted Jasper, because he immediately tensed and stood straighter.

"Jasper and I went to see the some cheesy scary movie. It was not good, so I don't recommend it to you guys." I laughed slightly at my joke, but noticed that the three boys were glaring in Jazz's direction. I turned to look at him, holding the phone up to his ear and now staring back at our small group.

Jazz immediately hung up the phone and walked over to me, snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him in a protective matter. He knew that I could deal with Jacob. What was going on?

"Good evening, boys," Jasper greeted. The tone of his voice made it know that this was not a welcoming greeting and he didn't intend to stay long in their company. "I hope you enjoyed your movie, but Bella and I need to be leaving now."

In less than a minute, Jasper had hopped onto the Ducati and pulled me with him, resting me up against his back as I had earlier. I put my helmet on and fastened the strap to hold it in place. I was silent as he drove us home. I had no idea what was going on, but I had a feeling that this town was the center of some weird supernatural curse.

We pulled up in front of my house and were standing on the sidewalk when I finally laid down the law. "Jasper Hale, I am not going inside until you have explained to me why you and Jacob have this weird vendetta against each other. Why were his friends glaring at you?! Do they all know about your family, Jasper? What is going on?!"

During my lovely temper tantrum on my sidewalk, I had managed to walk closer to him so that I was standing directly in front of him. My hands had somehow managed to work themselves up to the collar of his black button-down shirt and were pulling his face closer to me. I don't know what it was about Jasper, but I was never able to control my actions around him anymore. The more we hung out, the crazier I seemed to get.

Jasper was smirking down at me, obviously amused by my fit and the fact that I was trying to be threatening. If he wanted something to laugh about, I would give it to him alright. I hoped to God that Alice wouldn't see this since it was a split decision.

I stood on the tips of my toes and smashed my lips into Jasper's. There was no response at first, shock obviously registering on the vampire. Jasper moved his hands to the tops of my shoulders and gently pushed back, trying to break us apart. I wouldn't let him, and I knew that he was allowing me to fight back because there was no way I could overpower a male vampire.

I pulled him closer to me by the collar of his shirt, his head bending down while our lips danced off each other. I felt him kiss me back, dueling my lips with his own colder ones. His hands moved from my arms to the small of my back, pushing me into his hard body as mine moved from his shirt to thread themselves into his hair.

I let out a low moan from deep within my throat when I felt his tongue on my lips, parting them, begging for entrance into my mouth. I happily obliged and felt my knees grow weak when our tongues began dancing off each other. The corners of my mouth turned upward when I heard a soft growl come from him. I broke away from his lips for just a second, long enough to gasp for breath before returning.

"Jasper," I moaned into his mouth, needing to make sure that this was real. I heard him moan back in response while working his hands from the small of my back to rest on my hips, pulling them against his own. "Oh, God, Jasper," I gasped out again. My owns hands were becoming more adventurous, falling from his hair to his shoulders and then caressing their way down his chest until I was grabbing two bunches of his shirt from where it hung on his stomach, trying to pull our bodies even closer together. I doubt that was possibly, though.

We jumped apart from each other, hands falling to our sides when a car drove by and honked their horn at us. I would've blushed under normal circumstances; however, I wasn't embarrassed by my actions. I was rather unsure of them, though. I stood on the sidewalk, my chest heaving for oxygen as my eyes stared at the man in front of me, radiating lust and need. His eyes were another story. He was looking at me with confusion, fear, and shame shining through his eyes.

I took a small step toward him, extending my hand to meet his own. He reeled back, keeping distance between our bodies. "We need to talk," he stated as he turned and began walking toward the forest across from my house, knowing I would follow like the little puppy that I was becoming.


	11. Coming Clean

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Eleven: Coming Clean

Neither of us said anything for a good fifteen minutes while we stared at each other from our respective spots in the forest. I was sitting on a large root, leaning against the tree that it had stemmed from while Jasper was standing ten feet across from me in the clearing, hands in his pockets and eyes interested in the floor of the woods.

"Look, one of us has to start, Jasper." I finally broke the silence and smiled when he looked up at me. He didn't smile; his face was still masking confusion and frustration. Welcome to my world, Jazzy.

"I'll go first. At least what I have to say is going to be easily explained. I doubt that you could justify what is going on in your head right now," he stated.

I stood up from my sitting position and walked towards him with fire in my eyes. "I don't have anything to justify, Hale. You enjoyed that kiss just as much as I did!"

He looked back at me with an angry expression that I'm sure matched my own. "I'm not getting into this right now, Bella."

"Then why did you bring me out into the woods, huh?! Did you want to continue what we were doing on the sidewalk? Or were you thirsty?" I knew this would annoy him more, but I didn't care right now. He was able to frustrate and entice me all at one time.

"You know that neither of those were what I had in mind. I just don't want to argue with you right now. Let's just get to the point, so I can answer what you were asking me earlier before you completely lost your marbles," he answered. I was just about to respond, antagonizing him further when he looked at me with quiet desperation. I nodded my head to signal to him that I would now listen and not interrupt. "Thank you," he replied to my silent gesture.

"I know that you learned about us Cold Ones from Jacob. Well, we aren't the only family in Forks with a secret. The Quileute tribe descends from wolves. From what Carlisle and I can figure, our presence here has caused them to start transforming into werewolves like they used to do. Jacob and his friends have formed a rather large pack of werewolves within the last few months."

Wow, he was blunt when he wanted to be. I couldn't help myself and started laughing hysterically. It was all starting to make sense to me. I must've done something horrible in a past life that was now causing my entire world to be shaken upside down every other week.

Jasper, feeling sorry for me, walked forward and threw his arms around my shoulders in a comforting hug.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked, knowing the answer before he spoke the question. I was once again hanging on by a thread, clutching to Jasper as he was all I had left.

"I just don't know how much more I can grasp. How much more I can handle without losing my mind entirely. Vampires are real, I get it. I loved one even. Then vampire love stomps on heart and flees country. I'm handling it. I'm having strong feelings for vampire love's brother who is married to one of my closest friends. Still unsure of this one. Now the friend that I've had in Forks since I was a little kid making mud pies is a werewolf. Who hates vampires. Not just any vampires, though, the vampires that are my family." I stopped and looked up into his chiseled face. "How am I supposed to react anymore? I don't understand where I fit in with all of this."

"You fit in with us, Bella." He leaned down so that we were eye to eye. "You are a Cullen, whether you're dating one or not. As far as Jacob, I really don't know. It's dangerous to be near him, especially since he knows that you're a part of our family. He's still too young to control himself around you if he were to get angry. I know that your newfound power may be able to help the matter, but it's too uncontrollable right now. I can't let you near him, at least not until we know more about his pack."

I nodded, understanding that Jasper was concerned for my well-being. I would listen to him for now. "What about the other part, Jazz?" I said in a soft voice. "What do we do about that?"

"I have no damn idea," he admitted. We both chuckled, each of us relieved that the other had no clue what was going on or what we should do about it. "Did I do something to make you like me, Bella?"

I smiled up at him. "You were just yourself, Jasper. You were there for me, and we have a lot more in common than I had originally thought. I don't know when this started happening, really. I just know that I cannot control my feelings for you or how I act when I'm with you."

"I can tell," he teased, mentioning our heavy make-out session in front of my house. "But I'm married to Alice, and I know that you still love Edward."

"Don't you feel anything for me at all, Jazz?" I clutched his sides tighter, keeping against me and enjoying that his arms were still draped around my waist.

"Of course, I do, Bella. You're amazing. I just don't know where the line is between friendship and love. I've only ever loved two women in my existence, and they were both vampires. We feel things differently from humans, we take things more seriously. I could never just throw away what I have with Alice for something that could potentially go nowhere. Do you understand?"  
"Yes," I answered sadly. "But we both know that there's a way it could go somewhere, Jazz. Alice saw me becoming one of you, but she didn't see why. Maybe I wasn't meant to be with Edward. Maybe I was meant to be with his brother."

"Who are Alice and Edward meant to be with then, Bella?" he questioned me.

"I'm not the one who sees the future, Jasper. I just break things with my mind."

Without knowing what I was doing, I leaned up and kissed him again. Sure enough, the innocent kiss turned into a much more intense one, resembling the one that had happened less than an hour ago. This time, there was no car to stop us.

I moaned against Jasper's mouth, his tongue caressing mine and shoved him back against the tree I had been sitting on earlier. He laughed at my roughness and grabbed my legs, pulling me up his body until I wrapped them around his waist. Jasper turned us so that I was against the tree now, being supported by it as well as him. He clutched my hips harder as his kisses moved from my mouth down my jaw line and to the hollow of my throat, causing me to moan lightly.

I suddenly felt a vibrating coming from between us and while I knew that we were excited, I was also smart enough to deduct that it wasn't coming from Jasper and me. I reached into the front pocket of his jeans, probably lingering longer than I needed to and pulled out his cell phone. Without bothering to answer it, I threw it to the forest floor. How dare someone try and interrupt us while we were like this?!

Jasper chuckled at my action before returning his mouth to my own. I had never felt so lost in my own lust before. Kissing an empath definitely had its advantages. He could feel the lust coming off of me which caused him to feel more of his own lust and then in turn returned it back to me. It was breath-taking.

It was my turn now. I broke away from his lips and moved mine to the strong line of his jaw, nipping gently as I moved down to his neck and raked my blunt teeth along it to his throat where I placed one gentle kiss. My hands had managed to unbutton the top three buttons of Jasper's shirt, allowing me to trace my tongue down to his hard chest. He growled again and decided it was his turn to take control of the situation, pushing his own hands underneath my shirt and making their way up to my breasts.

Edward had never touched me like this before. I was so lost in the feeling of Jasper pressed against me that I didn't hear anyone approaching us. Jasper must have been disoriented from all the lust coming off of us, because he didn't feel them near either.

"Well, I must say that you are not the person I expected to find in an embrace with young Isabella here," a deep voice said from a few yards away. "Such a shame that I am going to have to spoil your fun by killing her."


	12. Jasper's Protective Side

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twelve: Jasper's Protective Side

Before I could even register what was happening, Jasper had set me back onto the ground and was standing in front of me. He was crouching, ready to fight against the other vampire who had found us. The haze of lust finally left me and I could focus my eyes on the dark skin of the vampire in front of us who had just threatened my life. I was becoming jaded really, with all these vampires constantly wanting to drink my blood. Get over it.

"What the hell are you doing back here?" Jasper said, growling in emphasis just to make sure that Laurent understood what he was prepared to do to him.

"I was sent here by an old friend. You know her as Victoria, James's mate." Once he said this, Laurent turned his attention from Jasper to me. I could see that his eyes were dark as night, obviously a side effect of the blood running through my veins. "You remember James, don't you, Isabella? The vampire that lured your idiotic human self to your near demise."

"Well, duh," I said, surprising myself and Jasper. It was rare that I could form coherent thoughts in a crisis situation, but Jasper was sending waves of strength toward me, and it must be helping. "As I recall, he bit off more than he could chew."

Laurent laughed at my pun. I knew that he hadn't been fond of James. I was under the impression that he had joined the Denali clan, though. What would bring him back here to kill me? "Could you please get to the point? You interrupted us."

"Of course, dear Isabella," he replied with a snarl. "Victoria sent me here for reconnaissance. It is her intention to kill you for what your own mate did to James." Laurent paused for a moment, glancing between Jasper and me. I did the same and noticed that our clothes were disheveled, our lips were swollen, and Jasper was protecting me like territory. It wasn't hard to understand.

"I see that her plan was not without its own glitches, though. But still, what is one less human on the earth?" he asked, taking a step forward. Jasper bared his teeth and growled, but Laurent only laughed at him. "Last time, I did not make a move because I was outnumbered by your and family. The odds are even now, and I am prepared to fight for my dinner."

"I wouldn't count on those odds being even, Laurent," I stated. I could feel the familiar feeling of anger boiling in the pit of my stomach as I stood behind Jasper. If there was going to be a fight, I was going to be able to help this time. There was no way I was letting Jasper get hurt because the psychopathic vampire's friend decided to stroll back into town.

"And what will you do to help your lover, young one?" he asked, stepping to the side of Jasper, looking for a way to get past him to me. Jasper immediately repositioned himself between the two of us and crouched lower, ready to lunge when he needed to.

"You would be surprised at all the things that have changed since you've been back to Forks." I stood up straight and took a quick glance around us, looking for anything that could be used as a weapon against him.

"Well, as lovely as it would be to catch up with you both, I've been making my way back here for over a day now. I'm quite thirsty and would like a bite now."

Without notice, Laurent lunged for me, trying to reach around the handsome vampire standing between us. Jasper caught Laurent by the throat and threw him backwards. Laurent fell against a tree but wasn't down for long. He was crouching again, looking for another opening.

"You're not going to fucking touch her," Jasper threatened. I had never heard his voice so deep and dark before. I noticed him clenching his fists and standing on the balls of his feet, ready to strike first this time.

Jasper lunged for Laurent and tackled him to the ground. He punched Laurent in the face, and I could hear the familiar sound like thunder when the Cullens had played baseball. Hopefully no one would be close enough to hear and get suspicious. And just like that, my prayers were answered and it began to rain. The perfect cover story.

Jasper was punching Laurent again, but the other vampire was struggling from underneath him. Laurent managed to shove Jasper off of him but not very far. Jasper quickly stood, pulling Laurent to his feet with him. Jasper hit him again, causing him to fly backwards onto the forest floor. Laurent was getting angry now and flew towards Jasper, shoving him hardly onto the ground and landing on top of him.

"Jazz!" I felt helpless standing there, watching Laurent hit Jasper. I could hear growling, but I didn't know who it was coming from. My emotions built up inside me again and I screamed as I let them out, aiming them towards Laurent.

I was satisfied when I saw the darker creature go flying backwards, deeper into the forest. I knew he would be stunned for a moment so I ran towards Jasper, kneeling beside him and helping him into a sitting position. "Are you okay?" I leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Please tell me that you're okay."

"I'm fine, Bella," he replied as he stood, gently pulling me up with him. "You have to get out of here. He won't be down for long, and I can hold him off long enough for you to call the others to protect you."

"Hold him off?! Jasper, I'm not leaving you here alone with him! I can help you fight him." Jasper was looking at me like I was a ghost. I knew that he was about to protest, so I pulled him into a quick kiss. "Please let me help. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you because of me."

"Bella, we don't know enough about your power yet to rely on it. It's managed to do some good, but we can't risk it not working or it wearing you out too much. We don't know the side effects yet." His head snapped to look behind him where Laurent had been thrown. "He's getting up. Run, Bella, please!" Jasper shoved me aside as he ran toward Laurent, colliding with him again.

Jasper was able to smash Laurent's head against the ground and then take a bite out of his neck, but Laurent kicked him off before he could do any more damage. Laurent turned towards me and I noticed that his eyes were blood red now, obviously thirsting for me and pissed that I had thrown him back with my powers.

He lunged for me but fell to the ground when I pushed back at him with my mind. "You little bitch!" He stood up again, stalking toward me. "You better taste as good as you smell." I looked to my left and tried to concentrate on the tree that Jasper and I had been pressing each other up against before Laurent had interrupted.

I screamed as I pushed as hard as I could with my mind and my emotions. I was rewarded when the tree came out of the ground and smacked into Laurent, burying him underneath it. Hah! Edward wasn't the only one that could throw a tree. I smiled as I fell to the ground, weak with having used so much power at once. I could feel my eyes beginning to close when Jasper's cold, strong arms wrapped around my waist and cradled me to his chest.

I looked up to see that he was now kneeling next to me, smiling into my face. "You are so amazing, Bella." He planted a chaste kiss on my lips and held me closer to him, sighing with relief when I wrapped my arms around him. "We have to get out of here while we have the chance," he stated.

"Don't leave so soon, please. Stay for dinner."

We both looked up to see that Laurent was now standing over us, blood coming from his head and arms from having been pinned underneath the tree. There was no way we were going to get out of this now. Jasper would have to try twice as hard to protect me, because I was so weak. What had I done?

"Hey, douche bag! Get away from my brother and sister!"

The cavalry had arrived.


	13. Family Reunion

A/N: Thank you all for your great reviews! It's such a huge compliment, and I appreciate every last one of them. The more reviews I get, the more chapters I post. I'm big into bribing. LoL.

Also: ICanSeeYourFace, you were right. Emmett is the only Twilight character I could ever imagine saying the word douche bag.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirteen: Family Reunion

I smiled as I saw Emmett and Rosalie standing side by side a few yards away from where Jasper and I were on the ground. Emmett had a fierce snarl on his face aimed at Laurent. Rosalie was staring at Jasper and me, confusion and hurt lacing her face. We really didn't have time to get into this right now.

"I told you to get away from my brother and sister," Emmett repeated, and was in front of Laurent in a flash. Emmett reached for Laurent's throat and held him in the air. "Get the can, Rose!"

It was then that I noticed the can of gasoline she was holding. The rain wasn't coming down very hard so if we could find some leaves to cover a small area, we should be able to keep a fire going long enough to burn Laurent. I looked for an area with some overhang but noticed that Emmett and Jasper were already dragging Laurent to one. Rosalie was following them, opening the gas can.

I didn't see them actually tear him apart, but I heard the screams that came from Laurent before he finally gave up on fighting back. I did see the flames shooting up toward the sky as my family stayed near the fire, making sure that all of his was burnt. I placed my hands on the damp ground, using them as leverage to help me stand. My hand hit something hard in the dirt and I looked down.

Jasper's cell phone was covered in dirt, but I noticed that the light was flashing, signaling that he had a missed call. I remembered pulling it out from his pocket and tossing it to the ground when we were kissing. I looked at the screen and saw that his missed call has been from Alice. I shook and slowly sank back onto the ground.

My head was pounding. I don't know if it hurt from all that had just happened with Laurent or from me using my new powers so much or from the pain that I was feeling from having just betrayed Alice with Jasper. I started sobbing, pulling my knees against my chest and resting my head on them.

"Bells?" Emmett was the one that spoke, but I looked up to see three strikingly beautiful vampires looking at me with concern. Well, two of them had concern. Rosalie still looked confused and angry. I know that she was being protective of her sister, and I understood that.

"Yeah?" I choked out, my voice cracking before I started sobbing again. My eyes were becoming blurry, so I couldn't make out who was walking towards me but I knew who it was before his strong arms were wrapped around me, picking me up from the ground and cradling me to his chest.

"Come on, Bella. Let's get you to our house so that Charlie won't ask any questions," Jasper explained as he started running toward the Cullen house with Emmett and Rosalie close behind him. I clutched onto his shoulder as I buried my head in his neck, planting a soft kiss on it. I just needed to know that he was real. That we were real.

"We'll figure everything out, Bella. I promise," he whispered into my ear. I smiled against his chest. Although my head was still pounding and I felt weak, I couldn't help but be comforted by Jasper's words. He promised, and I knew that he would not go back on a promise.

We reached the Cullen house and followed Emmett and Rosalie inside. It felt like ages since I had been here, but in reality it had been less than a month. The furniture was covered so Emmett quickly took the covers off and discarded them to the side of the room so we could all sit in the living room. Jasper sat down but kept me in his lap, not concerned that his brother and sister were with us. I was grateful.

"So what's new?" Rosalie asked with a snide voice.

"Ease up, Rose," Emmett cautioned. I had always loved him like a big brother, protecting me even against his own wife.

"I just need a minute," I started, "and then I will explain everythi-" I had looked into the foyer next to the living room and caught sight of Edward's piano. It was covered with cloth as well, but I knew what was underneath. I slowly untangled myself from Jasper and walked into the other room.

I placed my hand on the white cloth and balled it into my fist, pulling it off the piano and bench and shoving it onto the floor. I saw a tear fall from my eyes and onto the piano, leaving a wet spot on the beautiful wood. Sitting on the bench, I poked at a couple of the keys, not playing anything in particular but just listening to the noise.

I had been so consumed in my new feelings toward Jasper that I hadn't been thinking about Edward a lot lately. Seeing the piano that he had spent hours playing for me had sent me into another emotional rollercoaster. I could hear the chords of my lullaby in my head and I slowly began humming along with them.

"Are you okay?" Rosalie asked softly as she sat beside me on the bench. I was surprised that it was her who had come to comfort me but also glad. Jasper had enough to deal with, and I don't think Emmett was ready for all this emotion.

"I don't understand anything that's going on right now, Rosalie," I whispered before turning my face to meet her gaze. "I miss him so much; I miss you all so much. Part of me has already realized that I need to move on, and I am genuinely trying to take steps forward in order to do so. But there's this part in the back of my head that tells me that I should be miserable without him and that I have no right to feel the things that I'm feeling right now."

"Bella, you can't control what you feel. You're not meant to. You just have to follow your heart and hope that everything works out the way that fate planned." Rosalie stopped and looked over her shoulder at Emmett who was speaking with Jasper, trying to make it look like they weren't listening to every word we were saying. "I never dreamed of becoming a vampire and there are times that I hate it, but if Carlisle hadn't found me while I was dying and turned me, I never would have met and fell in love with Emmett. And he's made me happier than I ever thought possible."

Rosalie and Emmett shared a soft smile with each other. Jasper turned his head up to look at me and winked. We would get through this. We would find a way to get through this and everything would work out.

"So since we've skirted around that issue without really touching it, let's move on to the other matter at hand here," Emmett instructed. "How the hell did you throw Laurent across the forest without touching him?!"


	14. Acceptance

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Fourteen: Acceptance

Emmett and Rosalie were sitting curled together on the love seat. Jasper and I had just explained to them everything that had happened since their recent departure. We told them how Jasper had found me in the woods. This part had angered Emmett, because he was worried that I could've gotten sick or hurt.

We told them how Jasper and I had gotten closer and realized that our personalities had a lot in common. We developed a friendship, and I had even come to rely on Jasper more than I thought was healthy. Jasper just laughed when I said this. Jasper told them that the Quileute teenagers were turning into werewolves and that I was not allowed to be alone with Jacob Black until they were sure that it was safe and that he could control his new abilities.

"I thought I smelled dog when we were running back here," Rosalie murmured with her lip curled up in a disgusted twitch. I didn't really understand why vampires and werewolves were such big enemies, but it obviously ran deep.

"Why are they even transforming anyway?" It was Emmett who asked, but I know that we all wanted to know the answer to that one question.

"I'm not really sure. I briefly discussed it with Carlisle, and he suggested that it's because of our prolonged presence here in Forks," Jasper explained. I shrugged. I didn't care of the werewolves didn't want the Cullens around, because I sure as hell did.

"Who cares? The most important question here is when are all of you moving back here? It's where you belong," I stated. I looked up at Jasper as I said this, making sure that he understood that I meant he belonged near me.

Emmett and Rosalie shared a silent look with each other before turning back to me. "Bella, of course we want to come back," Emmett started. "But we promised Edward that we would stay away in order to keep you out of danger."

I was unable to stop myself from laughing as soon as the sentence had passed his lips. "Seriously, you're still going along with this story?!" I stood up from my spot next to Jasper and began pacing the room. "First of all, I don't care if you made a promise to Edward. He doesn't care about the promises that he makes to people, so it would serve him right to have one thrown back into his face. And second, I think Laurent is proof enough that I'm safer with you guys here."

Rosalie chimed in at that. "In my daft brother's defense, you would never have had to deal with Laurent if we wouldn't have let you know about our secret in the first place."

"How do you know that, Rose?" I raised my eyebrows at her and smirked. "We all know that I'm pretty accident prone. And I like to walk through the woods alone. They were coming through Forks anyway, right? Who knows what would've happened to me if I hadn't been with you all when they decided to make their presence known?!"

Rose smiled at me. I think she was finally beginning to like me. It must be the fact that I was starting to develop an attitude that could combat hers. "You're right. You are extremely prone to injury and bad luck. I suppose that you still would've been kidnapped and tortured by James without us knowing you."

"Thank you," I replied. I settled back down onto the couch, cuddling next to Jasper again. He hooked down at me and smiled. It was nice that Jasper appreciated my new outlook on life. I felt empowered and encouraged by him. He would never hold me back or try and protect me from life's experiences. He was exactly what I needed right now.

"Yeah, that's another thing," Emmett piped in again. "You two are way too comfortable to be around the entire family right now." Jasper and I looked away from each other and at Emmett. He furrowed his brow, as if trying to read our minds. Sorry, buddy, only one vampire in this family has that power and it's not you. "What exactly is happening here?"

"I can't really explain it, Em," Jasper answered this time. "Bella and I became friends, and she needed me. I've never had anyone need me before, and it feels amazing. I'm always depending on you guys for strength, to keep me in control of myself. But I've felt like I've lost myself the deeper I've gotten into the family."

Emmett and Rosalie both looked hurt and I felt Jasper cringe back toward the couch. I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned against his side, encouraging him to continue. He had given me so much strength and support lately. It was my turn to offer it to him.

"Don't get me wrong; I love all of you. I don't know where I would be right now if I hadn't joined our family. And I do love Alice for all that she's done for me. She's stood by my side for so many years and is such an amazing person. I just find myself being drawn to Bella more and more lately," Jasper admitted to his family before turning back to look at me again.

My eyes were shining with unshed tears, moved by his admittance and openness to discuss our relationship. My hand went up to his face and I lightly traced the lines of his cheekbone down to his jaw and stopping on his lips. I ran my finger back and forth across his lower lip before leaning up and capturing it between my own. I gave Jasper a light kiss and then tugged his bottom lip with my teeth before pulling away.

"Thank you," I whispered into his ear as I cuddled my face into his neck. I sighed contentedly as his arms tightened around me, pulling me onto his lap and closer into his body.

"Okay, I think I'm getting it now," Rosalie said. Jasper and I both snapped our heads in her direction. She had reached over and clutched Emmett's hand in her own. "I've never seen you and Edward like that. Or Jasper and Alice," she said, looking at me. "This is going to be a sticky situation, guys. But I'll be here for you, no matter what."

"Thanks, Rosie," Jasper said to the woman who had portrayed his twin over the past few decades. I rested my head on his shoulder and looked at my big brother.

"Emmett? What do you have to say about this?" I asked him.

Emmett looked between the three of us and sighed. "As long as you're happy, Bells. We need to figure out how to break the news to Eddie and Ally, though. It's not fair to keep them in the dark."

"I have a feeling that Alice already knows." I bit my lip, afraid to continue my clarification. Jasper nudged me, urging me to go on. "After you guys burned Laurent, when I was sitting on the ground in the woods, I found your cell phone, Jazz."

"Why was your cell phone on the floor of the forest?" Rosalie asked, still unaware of the situation we had been in before Laurent had shown up to kill me.

"Bella and I got caught up in a moment and she threw it onto the ground so as to not distract us," he said, unashamed.

I could feel my face blush but decided to ignore the familiar feeling of embarrassment. My desire Jasper was definitely not something I would ever feel embarrassed about. "Anyway, I noticed that it said you had a missed call from Alice. I just assumed that she was calling to warn us about Laurent; I figured that she had sent Emmett and Rosalie to help us fight him off, so I didn't think anything of it. But I just realized that when I made the decision to throw the cell phone on the ground, she would've seen why I was doing it."


	15. My Big Brother, The Superhero

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Fifteen: My Big Brother, The Superhero

"Sorry that I'm calling you so late, Charlie, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to crash at Jasper's house tonight." I paused and listened to my father yell on the other end of the line. Weren't teenagers ever rewarded for honesty anymore? Plus, I was eighteen years old now; I think I was old enough to stay the night with a boy. "Charlie, Jasper and I are just friends. We're both just exhausted and I don't want to make him drive me home this late. I promise that I'll come home as soon as I wake up tomorrow morning. Good night, dad."

I chuckled as I shut my cell phone and placed it on the kitchen counter. I had come in here to tell Charlie I wouldn't be sleeping in my own bed tonight while Jasper was in the living room, calling Alice. There was no way that I wanted to listen to that conversation right now. I took a seat on one of the barstools at the kitchen counter and stared at the dark granite design that my phone was now resting against.

I didn't want to think about the pain that Alice was feeling. I didn't want to stress about having to come clean to Edward when he was finally not avoiding everyone else on the planet. I wanted to prolong telling the entire family that I had developed feelings for Jasper, because I knew that it would divide them. It seems that tearing a family apart was just another of the free services that I had to offer.

I didn't hear the large vampire walk into the room, but his loud voice was unmistakable. "Why are you wallowing, Bells?" Emmett asked from behind me. Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed the barstool and twirled it so I was facing him.

I looked up at him, my hair falling in my face. "Why wouldn't I be, Em? I have a knack for hurting the people that love me. Alice doesn't deserve this. Edward doesn't either, no matter how upset I am with him right now. But you and Rosalie and Carlisle and Esme… you're all going to be affected by it, too. I hate knowing that I'm coming between family. I'm not worth the trouble."

"For the love of God, Bella, you have got to stop taking the blame for everything. There was no way for you to know that you would fall for Jazzy. And Alice will understand that you never meant to hurt her and that you still love her. Edward will definitely lose his mind for awhile, but he'll get over it. With time."

I started shaking my head, about to disagree with Emmett, but he placed his hand over my mouth to stop me.

"And you are worth it. Edward thinks so, Jasper thinks so, and all the rest of us do, too. We all love you, and we all want you to be happy. No matter who it's with." He crouched down to look me directly in the eye and gave me his big, goofy grin. I couldn't stop myself from smiling at him. "There's the smile that I love on my baby sister so much."

"Thank you, Emmett. You always know what I need to hear," I told him as I wrapped my arms around him in a hug.

"Well, I do what I can," he replied with a nervous laugh. I could tell that he was being careful not to hug me back too hard, worried that he would crush me. He probably would have. When he pulled back, he leaned casually against the wall of the kitchen. "You know, you never answered my question earlier." I raised my eyebrow, silently asking what he was referring to. "How did you throw Laurent across the woods, Bells?"

I sighed, not wanting to talk about my power right now. I had bigger things to deal with, and I was still so unsure of what was going on with me. I knew he wouldn't budge on this, though because he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me. "Okay, fine. A couple days ago, I was sitting on the floor of my bathroom with Jasper. He was trying to keep me calm, but I was so overwhelmed with my emotions. I felt betrayed and hurt and angry with Edward for abandoning me when I needed him. I had been trying so hard to not let what I was feeling take over but I couldn't push my feelings down any longer."

I shrugged before continuing. "They all just exploded out of me and the next thing I knew, Jasper was shielding me from my bathroom mirror breaking in front of us. I had on clue what happened, but I caused the mirror to break. And then Jacob tried to kiss me and I pushed him with my mind and he landed on our kitchen table, breaking it in the process."

"That little bastard tried to kiss you?!" Emmett yelled. "What the hell was he thinking? Your boyfriend just left you! He could've at least waited a month until he tried to make a move in on you."

"Em, you just saw me making out with your other brother," I reminded him. I knew that my expression had changed from confused to even more confused thanks to Emmett's random reaction.

"Yeah, but he's not a dog," he shrugged it off. "And plus, at least with Jazzy, you're keeping it in the family." I gasped but then started laughing when I saw Emmett's eyes sparkle with mischief.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that, joking or not." Emmett just stood there- not worried by my idle threats- and let me continue my story. "Jasper and I were going to eventually ask Carlisle if he knew what was going on with me, but I wanted to wait until I was ready to see all of you again. This afternoon when Laurent showed up, I got the idea that maybe I could try and control my power. I knew that I had been able to throw Jacob across my kitchen, so I figured that if I concentrated hard enough I could throw Laurent off of Jasper to stun him."

Emmett nodded his head and smiled. I knew that he would understand me better than anyone. It sucked to feel helpless all the time. "I'm just so thankful that it worked, but it took so much out of me that I could barely stand after I'd used it a couple of times."

"As glad as I am that you were able to help Jasper today, Bells, you have to be careful with this. You could too easily exhaust yourself or worse. You're right in saying that we need to ask dad about this, though. He may know something more than we could find on our own," he reasoned with me. "Do you think that you're ready now?"

"I don't really have a choice anymore, Em. I just have to deal with everything and try to move on now," I rationalized. "But hey, at least I have a superpower now. I don't have to feel so damn helpless all the time."

"Yeah, that's true. Even if you are still a weak human," he teased. Emmett suddenly had a sad look on his face as he stared down at the wood flooring. I rose from my seat and walked over to him, grabbing his chin and lifting his face to look at me.

"Silly Emmett, don't you know that you have the greatest superpower of all?" I let the shock register on his face before I continued. "You're our protector. You protect us all from evil vampires who want to kill us and from ourselves and from each other. There is no way I could have made it through the last year in this crazy family without you."

"Bella, I really don't bring that much to the table except for sarcasm and pranks," he argued. It was hard to listen to Emmett berate himself; he usually had so much confidence in himself.

"Stop it, Emmett. Stop it right now or I will be forced to throw your ass into the living room where I'm sure Rosalie will slap you across the head for thinking such a thing." He smiled at this. "You're everything to her, and you are so much to the rest of us. You're my big brother. Who else is going to beat up Jasper if he pisses me off?"

"And why would I be pissing you off?" Jasper asked from the doorway. He smiled softly at me, offering whatever reassurance he could muster up after his heart-wrenching conversation with Alice. "You should listen to her, though, Emmett. She's usually right about this type of stuff."

Emmett squeezed my hand before exiting the kitchen, leaving Jasper and I alone to talk. I walked over to the blond vampire who had suddenly wormed his way into my heart and placed my hands on his hips, pulling him closer to me. He unconsciously wrapped his arms around my waist and rested them on the small of my back.

"So…" I started.

"So…?" Jasper teased back, resting his forehead against mine as he looked into my eyes. It was so hard to concentrate with him this close to me, but I knew that there was so much we had to speak about. He started to lean down, ready to kiss me when we heard a loud crash coming from the living room where Emmett and Rosalie were.


	16. Together

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: I had total writer's block during this chapter, so I hope that it turned out as good as I wanted it to. Also a side note to Sheyne Black: I really wanted to write a story where Edward and Alice don't cheat on Jasper and Bella. I think the idea of E/A is disgusting. LoL.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Sixteen: Together

Jasper stopped his descent toward my lips and started laughing, his forehead resting against mine again. "Jasper, what's so fu-" I stopped my questioning when I heard Rosalie and Emmett start chasing each other up the stairs. I smiled up at Jasper. "I guess Emmett's feeling better about himself."

Jasper laughed harder than I had heard him laugh in days. His conversation must have gone better than I had expected it to go, because he had obviously had some weight lifted from his shoulders. I loved when Jasper felt completely at ease, because his eyes sparkled more than his skin ever could. I loved it even more that he felt that way around me.

"Let's go sit on the deck and I'll answer all the questions that are running through your head right now," Jasper suggested, already pulling me along with him as he guided us through the living room and out the front door. We took a seat on the bench that furnished the large back deck of the house. We sat in silence for a minute, both of us staring out at the woods where the Cullens hunted.

I curled my legs underneath myself and cuddled under Jasper's arm into his hard body. When he was this close to me, it was hard to remember the serious conversation that was about to take place. All I wanted to do was get lost in him. Lost in his eyes, in his kiss, in his body. I placed my hand on his chest and slid in between the buttons of his shirt, touching his cold skin.

"You were right earlier," he started, knowing I was content in my position against him. "Alice saw our decision to be together after she called to warn us about Laurent. She told me that she'd been getting mixed visions lately. Half of them were involving you and me as friends while there were others where I lost control and hurt you and even more where we both lost control and made love with each other."

I looked up at him, surprise on my face, concern on his own. I won't lie. Of course, I had thought of making love with Jasper. What sane girl wouldn't think of him in the bedroom?! I never knew that my thoughts would cause a vision for Alice, though. When I was having them, I never thought there could be any truth behind the hopes.

"She knew this was coming. It wasn't either of our faults, either, Bella. I know that you blame yourself, but Alice asked me to assure you that there was nothing you could do to stop our growing feelings for each other. Alice told me that when I almost attacked you on your birthday the future started to change. She saw you and Edward together less, but you were still becoming one of us," Jasper stopped and I saw the familiar look of guilt cross his face.

"It wasn't either of our faults," I repeated to him, placing my hand on his cheek and guiding his face to mine for a chaste kiss.

He smiled and pulled me tighter to him before continuing. "Alice and I have been together for so many years with no questions asked. She saw me before she knew me, so I don't think she was ever really in love with me but that she grew to love me over time. I clutched to her for support and strength, because this lifestyle was so difficult for me to adjust to. Don't get me wrong. I loved Alice with all my heart, as you loved Edward. But I know now who I was meant to be with."

Jasper looked down at me again and placed his hands on my face, framing it so I would look in his eyes. "You're the person I want to spend forever with, Bella. No one else gets to me the way you do. No one else draws me in like you can. I think that Alice's visions were meant to lead us to this point. She was supposed to find me to bring me to the Cullens so I would come to Forks. You were supposed to be with Edward so you can understand our history in a way that wouldn't frighten you. Everything happened so that we could be together."

My eyes were shining with tears by this point, touched by Jasper's words. It was true. I know that if I were to have met Jasper first, I would have been scared off by his intensity. He wouldn't have been able to control his thirst as Edward had that first day of school. We wouldn't be where we were right now, and I don't think that I could survive without Jasper as a permanent fixture in my existence.

There was so much that I wanted to say to him, but I couldn't articulate my feelings right. I wanted to tell him that even though I was terrified to get my heart broken, I couldn't resist him any longer. I wanted to explain to him that I was still reeling from everything that had happened this past year, but he was my light at the end of the tunnel. I wanted him to know that even through all my fear and hesitance, I knew that everything would be alright between us because of how we felt about each other. Because I have never been good with words, I settled for something to the point.

"I love you," I whispered into his face and smiled wide when I saw the look of surprise and pleasure cross his features.

"I love you more than anything in this world, Isabella Swan," he declared. I don't remember who started learning in for the kiss first. Jasper's cold lips covered mine with a soft caress. It was all innocent until I needed more.

I crawled onto his lap so I was straddling his legs and pressed my lips against his harder. My hands moved up to cling to his strong shoulders while his found their way to my waist, holding me securely on his lap so I wouldn't fall off the bench. He was always protecting me.

I pulled back slowly, catching his lower lip between my teeth and pulling on it slightly. We rested our foreheads together and looked into each other's eyes. I'm sure that the same love and lust were being reflected to him as I was seeing in his own deep, golden eyes. I moved my hands to tangle into his hair and pulled our faces together again, causing our lips to crash together.

This kiss was like the one in the woods, demanding and full of absolute pleasure. Our tongues danced off each other as I felt Jasper's hands move up from my waist and underneath my shirt. They rested on my back, underneath the strap of my bra. His hands were cold, but I was so hot that I didn't even shiver when they touched my bare skin. I started my own exploration and moved my hands from his hair down to the top buttons of his shirt and for the second time that day quickly undid the buttons the were covering his torso.

I broke my mouth away from his own and trailed kisses across his check to his earlobe and then down his jaw line and finally rested on his neck. I opened my mouth and raked my teeth down his neck while my hands found their way inside his now open shirt and skimmed across the distinct lines of his abs. I smiled against his cold skin when I heard Jasper growl from deep in his throat.

"Bella," he gasped out as I reached for the button of his jeans and easily unclasped it. He moved his hands from underneath my shirt and rested them on my hips, gripping me tightly and pulled me closer toward him.

I moaned loudly as I worked my mouth back up to his ear. "What, baby?" I asked, whispering in his ear, blowing my hot breath against his skin. My natural klutziness was finally kicking in as I fumbled with the zipper on his jeans, finding it impossible to move in our current position.

"We have… we have to stop, Bella," he choked out. He moved his head so that he could nuzzle my neck. I was used to hearing this argument, so I sighed in defeat and wrapped my arms around Jasper, leaning forward to rest my own head on his shoulder. I groaned, not hiding my frustration. Jasper placed a chaste kiss on my neck. "What's wrong?"

"I was just wondering if there was something about me that causes men to not want to be with me. Does my hair smell? Am I doing something wrong here?" I sat back, looking him in the eyes. I know that it was wrong to take out my frustrations on Jasper; however, I had never felt as hurt and rejected as I did right now. There had been so much building up to this one moment in my life, and I wasn't ready for anything else to get in the way.

"You're insane if you believe that for one moment." Jasper placed his hands on each side of my face, framing it and gently coaxing it closer to his own so that we were almost touching. "I love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you. There are just a couple obstacles that are currently in our way." He continued before I could question him. "First thing is that we are outside on our deck, and it is getting cold. Second thing is that we can't go inside because Rosalie and Emmett are in there right now doing the same thing we would like to be doing. I'm not about to compete with them during your first time. Which leads me to reason three. I love you too much to let your first time happen in a rush."

"Jasper, I'm really not the romantic girl you all take me for," I teased, "but I appreciate your reasoning. Thank you." I rested my head on his shoulder again and my eyes started to droop. Jasper must have felt that I was becoming tired, because he scooped me up in his arms and carried me into the house and up to his room.


	17. Morning Surprises

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: Just a warning to you all. Things between Jasper and Bella start to get heated up a little in this chapter. It's important to the storyline, because I need everyone to understand the strength of the pull between them.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Seventeen: Morning Surprises

"Jasper," I moaned, unable to stop his name from passing my lips. His name sounded sacred, like a prayer. I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head as I was consumed by pleasure.

"Look at me, baby," he whispered from above me, his voice deep with desire.

I opened my eyes wider to look into his darker ones. I reached up and swept a stray piece of his golden hair back that had fallen in his eyes during the past few hours that we had spent putting my bed to good use.

There were no signs of stopping yet, either. He leaned down and placed soft kisses on my neck and shoulders. I couldn't stop from the moan of his name from escaping my lips again.

"Bella," he moaned back to me. "Bella. Bella."

I opened my eyes and slowly took in my surroundings. I was lying on the large couch in Jasper's bedroom. He was behind me, holding me in his arms, and we were both under a new, soft comforter that the family had undoubtedly bought for me before they had left. He was raining kisses along my shoulder, the tee shirt that I had borrowed from him to sleep in having fallen off of it in the night.

"Wake up, Bella." He coaxed me out of my slumber and I stretched alongside him. "Good morning, baby."

If I could purr, I would have been doing so in this perfect moment. I was waking up in Jasper's arms, being showered with affection by him, after just having a deliciously sinful dream about him. It was the absolute perfect start to the day.

"Good morning, Jazz," I said as I turned to face him. Not ready to full wake up, I snuggled into his chest and closed my eyes again.

"Oh, no, you don't," Jasper said. "You can't go to sleep until you tell me what exactly you were dreaming about."

"What?" I asked, still no coherent enough to voice a full sentence.

"Bella, you were moaning so loudly that Emmett thought we were doing something in here. And I could literally feel waves of lust coming from you," he elaborated.

"I was just having a good dream," I said casually.

"About who?"

"You, of course," I answered honestly. It was no secret how attracted I was to Jasper. I think that last night had proven that as well. There should be no doubt in his mind. I looked up at him and continued. "It was an amazing dream, really. We were in my bed, and you were above me. We had just finished hours and hours of making love."

Jasper's eyes suddenly got darker as soon as the words escaped my mouth. "Oh, God, you are going to be the death of me, Bella Swan. Thank God I ran out for an early morning hunt."

"Why do you say that, Mr. Hale?" I asked as I stretched alongside him, my body barely grazing against his. I grabbed both of his hands in my own, playing with our fingers. I was content to just lay here with him, saying nothing.

"If I wouldn't have gone, I would have no doubt ravaged you already," he answered honestly. "I'm better with my control, but you are still too damn irresistible."

"Maybe I want you to," I stated.

"Oh, I know that you want me to, Bella." He smiled cockily at me and placed a kiss on the tip of my nose. "But Emmett and Rosalie would hear us. We agreed last night that we would wait until we were alone."

"Make them leave," I shrugged my shoulders. As soon as I said the words, Emmett's loud laughter echoed throughout the halls of the house. "Stop eavesdropping, Emmett! Go hunting or something!"

"Don't worry, Bella!" Rosalie replied. "I'll take him out for a couple hours! Enjoy your time alone!" I smiled back at Jasper when the door closed, signaling that our brother and sister had left.

"Well, I took care of that objection," I said as I raised an eyebrow at him, signaling that he would need to come up with another argument.

"You're awfully feisty in the morning," he answered instead. He dropped his hands from my own and moved them to my waist before pulling me so that I was up against him. "And your voice is husky from sleep. It's incredibly sexy." He moved his hands lower, resting them on my lower hips.

"Your voice is always sexy. It still has a little southern accent in it which is why you sound so damn charming all the time. You're the one who's irresistible." I bit back the natural moan that occurred when I was thinking of Jasper. His shirt was unbuttoned so I placed my hands on his cold skin and traced the lines of his chest, down to his flat stomach.

"You're insatiable," he growled out as his fingers dug into my skin a little harder. He was fighting his control, but I couldn't help myself when I was around him. I was a teenager in love.

"I'm beginning to believe that, baby," I answered in a whisper. I moved to my head so that I could rain kisses along his neck. I pushed the shirt off his shoulders and tossed it onto the floor of his now empty room. I moved my kisses to his shoulder and started to trail them to his chest. I felt Jasper's hand move to my thigh and pull my leg up until it was draped over his own. "But honestly, Jasper, how do we really know if I'm unable to ever be fully satisfied when I haven't been yet?" I teased.

I ran my tongue along his cold skin, finally unraveling his self control. Before I could register what was happening, Jasper had rolled us over so that I was on my back with him looming over me. His hands held my wrists above my head, pinning me to the bed. "We're about to find out, darling." Jasper bent his head down and sucked lightly on my neck before moving back up to my lips.

I could definitely get used to waking up like this. Our lips and tongues danced off each other as I struggled to break my hands free from Jasper's grip, wanting to tangle my fingers in his golden locks. He chuckled into our kiss, not easing the force on my wrists. I could fight unfair, too. I wrapped my legs around his lower back, grinding my lower body onto his.

"Bella!" he growled, tearing away from our kiss. He looked down into my eyes for a brief moment before finally releasing my hands and quickly yanking his shirt off me and discarding it onto the floor with his own. I clutched my hands onto his shoulders and ground against him again.

"Oh, God," I cried out. Jasper rested his head next to mine, his face in the pillow as he growled my name louder this time. He reached around to my back and sat us both upright so that I was in his lap and our bare chests were pressed against each other.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered before leaning in to kiss me again. Our kiss was deeper, harsher with need this time. My head was spinning with so many emotions, my own and Jasper's both mixing perfectly together. Love, lust, hunger, need, excitement. You name it; we were feeling it.

"Jasper," I whispered against his lips. "I love you, too. I need you so much, baby." My voice was begging, but I didn't care. I only cared about one thing right now, and that was to take Jasper's pants off as quickly as possible.

I moved my hands down to the button of his jeans and started fumbling with it when Jasper froze and sat up, broken out of our lust. "Alice."

"What?" I asked, my hand automatically stopping further actions but remaining at his waist. "What about Alice?" He turned his head to look at the doorway of the room and I instinctively did the same.

When I looked at the doorway, I saw that my other best friend was standing there with a sarcastic smirk on her face. "I really hope you weren't about to have sex on the couch. I was hoping to get that once our divorce is finalized, Jazzy."


	18. Contentment

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: EclipsedBrunette, I loved your idea. It was hilarious. I did find a way to incorporate the line into the story. Hope you like it.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Eighteen: Contentment

My arms were crossed over my chest as I sat staring blankly at the television. Emmett was watching the stupid X Games and refused to let me change the channel. It's not like he didn't have his own television in his and Rosalie's bedroom. I had been pouting for the last hour, ever since I had gone home to take the coldest shower known to earth and change my clothes.

To say I was frustrated would have been the understatement of the year. This was downright ridiculous! What does a girl have to do to be able to get enough privacy to have sex with her hot, vampire boyfriend?! I heard someone run quickly down the stairs and knew it was Jasper. He was trying to hurry this along, knowing my anxiousness to spend some time with him alone.

While Emmett took me home to change, Jasper and Alice had started separating their bedroom. Alice was going to be staying in their old room, which was perfectly fine with me because I didn't need to be plagued by thoughts of what had gone on in their 'bedroom' before they broke up. As if I didn't have enough insecurities. They were converting their upstairs library into a bedroom for Jazz (and me) and moving all the books that they had down into their basement game room.

This would take a normal human family at least all day, but Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie were all pitching in so they were almost done with everything. Thank God they didn't have to move all of Alice's clothes out of their closet or this would have lasted a week. Emmett had declined helping them, wanting to instead sit here on the couch and torture me with his teasing. He must have been having withdrawals when they were gone.

I felt a cold body come up beside me and plant a kiss on my cheek. I turned to see Jasper, smiling apologetically at me. I had waited long enough. I grabbed his face in my hands and pulled him back down to me, turning my head so I could kiss him fully on the mouth. Like all of our kisses, this one only took a few seconds to get steamy.

I rose to my knees and leaned against the arm of the couch, sinking into Jasper's kiss even more. My hand moved to his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. If Emmett weren't on the couch, I would've pulled Jasper on top of me and put this couch to use as well.

"Jasper! We're almost done. You can make out with Bella then!" Alice called from upstairs.

Jasper and I reluctantly pulled apart from each other and I groaned when he tugged my bottom lip lightly before running back upstairs. I threw myself back against the couch and groaned in frustration. "Bunch of cock-blockers," I mumbled under my breath.

Emmett turned his attention away from the television for the first time and looked at me with a smirk adorning his face. "What did you say, Bella?"

I looked at Emmett and plastered a sarcastic smile on my face. "I said that our family is full of a bunch of cock-blockers, Emmett!" I threw my arms across my chest and jutted my lip out in a pout again. I heard laughter coming from the five vampires upstairs.

"We'll be just a few more moments, Bella, and then you can steal Jasper away for the evening," Carlisle assured me, his voice floating down the stairs to the couch.

Emmett scooted closer to me and leaned right next to my ear. I didn't bother moving but looked at him out of the corner of my eye. "What?"

"Do you and Jazzy have big plans for the evening?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows, making it known to me what he was asking.

"I don't know," I shrugged. There was no way I was talking about this with Emmett. I hadn't even truly talked about it with Jasper yet. We were just unable to control our hormones around each other.

"Well, if you need me to give you some pointers I can," he offered. I turned my head then but it was too late. Jasper had already run down the stairs and lifted me off the couch, standing me next to him.

"Emmett, we don't need any help in that department, thank you," he said politely to his brother. He grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward the door. "If you'll excuse us, Bella and I need to go buy some furniture for our new bedroom." I smiled widely when I heard him call the room ours and clutched his hand tighter in my own.

"Have fun!" Alice yelled from upstairs, still arranging her room and closet the way she wanted it to be.

Jasper and I walked outside and he pulled me toward Emmett's Jeep. He boosted me into the large vehicle and fastened the harness before sprinting around the front to climb into the driver's side seat. I looked over at him and couldn't stop the smile from breaking across my face. "I love you." It was like I couldn't say it enough times.

Jasper reached over and ran his fingers through my hair. "I love you, too, Bella." He leaned over and gave me a chaste kiss before starting the car and driving away from the house. "Now let's go pick out a bed."

"Jazz, you don't even sleep," I reminded him.

"You do, though. And plus, there are other things to use a bed for, dear Bella." Jasper looked at me again with a smirk on his lips and I felt the familiar blush creep up onto my face.

"In that case, we better get a big, comfortable one," I answered with my own sly smile. We sat in a comfortable silence as he drove the speed limit to the mall in Port Angeles. Every now and then, one of us would sing along with the rock station that was on in the vehicle and I fell even more in love with him when I heard his singing voice. My boyfriend was definitely the perfect specimen.

We walked lazily through the mall, holding hands and stealing kisses the entire time. We were able to pick out a beautiful bed for our room which was going to be delivered by tomorrow. Jasper surprised me and ended up buying himself some clothes. It was just a few band tee shirts, but I took the opportunity to tease him mercilessly and was punished when he dragged me into Victoria's Secret and helped me pick out some news bras and panties.

We were even able to sneak into the dressing room to make out for a few minutes before being busted by the manager. We spent an endless amount of time in Barnes and Noble, looking through CDs and books and discussing what authors and musicians were our favorites. Jasper was a class rock fan, and I had to agree with his taste in music. I was content to stand next to Jasper with my arms around his waist while he listened to some new artists that were being featured in the store. It was a contentment that I had never felt before.

As we were walking across the parking lot to Emmett's Jeep I felt Jasper's body stiffen next to my own and looked up at him to see what was wrong. He pulled me against his body protectively. I noticed that he was looking across the parking lot and had locked eyes with an older-looking guy who was just getting out of his car.

It wasn't hard to notice that he was a vampire. He had the same flawless, pale skin that the Cullens did. His hair was jet black and cut short. He stood a few inches taller than Jasper with a medium build and was dressed in dark clothes. Jasper growled, clutching me tighter against him. He was so overprotective of me, it was cute. The other vampire nodded his head to Jasper and turned away from us.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"I don't know exactly, baby," Jasper said. We had gotten to the Jeep and he helped me into the car. "It's strange to see another vampire walking into a crowded mall. And I don't like the way he was looking at you, either."

"Jasper, he was probably just curious as to why you were with a human girl." I placed my hand on his cheek and guided his face toward mine. I smiled up at him before placing a soft kiss on his lips. "Don't worry so much, Jasper," I whispered. "We have a lifetime together."


	19. Confessions

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: I hope that you were all able to go out at midnight and get your copy of the Twilight DVD. I know that I've definitely been enjoying mine!

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Nineteen: Confessions

Jasper had gone hunting with his brother and father. Esme was out at a cooking class that she had enrolled in to ensure that she would be able to make edible dinners for me since I would be spending much more time at their home now. I was still having separation anxiety from the reality that they had left me. This left me alone in the house with Rosalie and Alice. I didn't stand a chance in hell of surviving this.

I was sitting in the living room, watching Dirty Dancing play on one of the movie channels when they came out of nowhere, turned the television off, and stared at me without explanation. I knew what they were planning, and I was so terrified I did the only thing that came to mind. I used sarcasm as a defense mechanism.

"Should you have gone hunting with the boys as well?" I teased the older girls who were still staring at me.

"Very funny, Bella," Alice replied back with mockery in her tone. Rosalie just rolled her eyes. "Why can't you ever just humor your sisters?"

"I'm not your little human toy. I don't need to humor you. I am just trying to enjoy a classic romantic movie while waiting for my boyfriend to come back from hunting. I'm completely innocent in this," I defended myself. I started to stand but Rosalie gently shoved me back down onto the couch.

"You're not innocent, so don't even go there. I heard moaning coming from my brother's room last night," she stated. Alice just snickered on my other side.

"It wasn't like that, Rose, and you know it."

"Oh, I know that you didn't have sex, Bella. Jasper is too much of a gentleman to do that with us in the house," Rosalie assured me.

"But you will soon," Alice informed me. She smiled innocently when I looked at her with shock registering on my face. "Don't act so surprised. Jasper could never deny you anything."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, Alice," I admitted. My old insecurities were showing themselves again. I knew that Jasper was not Edward and that it was wrong to compare my relationship with them but I couldn't stop myself. "We haven't really talked about anything since we've gotten together. Neither of us has mentioned our future or me becoming one of you. I don't know if he's ready for that just yet."

"Don't be ridiculous." Rosalie sighed, exasperated with my uncertainty. "Jasper is head over heels for you, dear. We all see that. He's probably just a little tentative because Edward doesn't know yet. He doesn't want to betray our brother."

"It's not that he doesn't want to spend forever with you, Bella. I can see that he's already made the decision to not live one more moment without you by his side," Alice answered. "He doesn't want to make anything final until the family is back together. It's the first family he's had in so long. I know that he hasn't told you about his past yet, but he will and then you'll understand."

I nodded my head, knowing that Alice was right. "When is Edward going to return, Alice?" I had been curious these past couple of days as I started realizing that my feelings for Jasper were more than platonic. I needed to be prepared for when my former love would come back to be with his family. I needed to prepare my heart to not be swept up in our history.

"He has figured out that we came back to Forks and is very upset with us all. He doesn't know about you and Jasper, though. He's on his way back here, but he's not close enough to read our thoughts yet." I looked at Alice and she continued. "He'll be here tomorrow afternoon, Bella."

"Who else knows?" Rosalie asked, hearing this information for the first time.

"I told Carlisle and Esme this morning before the boys went hunting. Carlisle was going to tell Jasper and Emmett while they're out."

I looked at the clock; the boys had been gone for an hour now. Knowing that Edward would be returning home tomorrow had suddenly exhausted my mind. I stood slowly from the couch and looked down at the girls that were now my sisters. "I think I'm going to take a nap until Jasper gets back," I whispered so low that a human would not be able to understand what I said. They just nodded and settled back onto the sofa, picking up on watching the movie that I had started.

I climbed the stairs, clutching the railing the entire time. My head was spinning. It was all finally registering with me how much had happened this last week. Jasper had almost killed me, my family had abandoned me, my first love had broken my heart, Jasper had come back for me, Jasper and I had fallen in love, and now Edward was coming back because he was upset with our family for not leaving me alone.

I didn't even notice when I had walked into Jasper's room but I was thankful for the bed that had been delivered this morning because I collapsed on it. I don't know if I fell asleep or passed out, but I was soon dreaming.

_I was standing in the middle of the clearing that the Cullens used for their baseball games. I couldn't see anyone with me; however, I could feel someone watching me. I slowly turned to come face to face with Edward._

_"You look beautiful," he said as he placed his hand on my hip. I looked down at myself and noticed that I was wearing a short, flowing white sundress. He tried to pull me closer to him, but I didn't move. I felt a strong hand on my right upper arm holding me back._

_"Jasper," I whispered. I smiled up at him and took a step toward him, into his arms. "I missed you." I rested my head against his shoulder and snuggled my nose into his neck, taking in his scent. I opened my mouth and clamped it over Jasper's throat, biting him._

_"Bella!" Jasper and Edward yelled my name together as they struggled to push and pull me away from my boyfriend. I continued to look at Jasper and licked the blood off my lips._

_"What did you do to her?!" someone yelled from behind me. I turned to see Jacob standing there. He was looking at the three of us with a horrified expression on his face. I still had no clue what was going on._

_"We didn't do it," Jasper explained to the younger boy as he reached up and touched his neck where I'd broken the skin. I whimpered and he smiled down at me. "It's okay, baby. You couldn't control yourself."_

_"Who did it then?!" Jacob demanded to know._

_"I did," someone whispered from a clearing in the trees across the field from where we stood. I looked over but couldn't make out the person standing there. All I saw was red fire._

"Bella." I heard my name but all I saw was darkness. I felt a pair of cold, strong hands shaking my shoulders. I tried to bat the hands away, but they were too strong. The person decided to change their tactic and placed a soft kiss on my lips. My eyes fluttered open and I saw Jasper's face above mine.

His eyes were creased with worry, but I saw the relief that flashed across them as I opened my eyes and smiled up at him. I lifted my hands to his face and pulled him back down for another soft kiss. I pulled back after a few seconds and let my head rest against the pillow again. "Hi."

"Hello, sleeping beauty," he teased as he lay on his side next to me. I rolled to my own side so we were facing each other. "You were screaming in your sleep."

"Was I?" I asked, embarrassed. I hadn't been screaming or crying in my actual dream. "That's strange."

"What were you dreaming of, Bella?" He rested his hand on my hip and started tracing soft circles on top of my jeans with his fingertips. Wanting to be closer to his comfort, I reached my own hand to his side and tugged him against my body.

"I bit you," I stated. I saw his eyebrows raise in question. "I was standing in the baseball clearing all alone and then you and Edward came up to me and I smiled at you and then all of a sudden I was biting your neck. I couldn't stop myself, so you and Edward had to get me off of you." I stopped for a moment to stroke the side of his neck where my dream self had attacked.

"Why were you biting me?" I could hear the fear in his voice, but I ignored it for the time being.

"I don't know, but Jacob was there too and he asked what you two had done to me. Then there was another voice that I didn't recognize and I couldn't see who it was. All I saw was fire. And then I woke up next to you." I was still groggy and must have sounded insane to Jasper. He simply wrapped his arms around me tighter and kissed my cheek.

"It's okay now, darling," he whispered against my skin. "You must have just been worried because Edward's returning soon."

"I'm worried that I'll hurt you. I don't want to, Jasper, but I don't trust myself around him," I confessed. "I love you so strongly, but I can't understand or try to explain the pull that he has over me." I moved my hands underneath Jasper's tee shirt and lightly scratched at the muscles that were hidden from my view.

"Bella, I only want you to be happy." I saw the sadness and confusion in his eyes as he said this. He thought I would leave him.

"Jazz, you're the only person that I want to spend forever with. Please know that. Have faith in it. Just like I have faith in us," I begged him, moving my hands to the hem of his shirt and tugging it upward wanting to remove it from his body.

Jasper complied with a smirk on his face and let me throw his shirt onto the floor by our new bed. "I love you, Bella, but I need to confess something to you." I could feel Jasper clutch my hips tighter, an action to show his nervousness. I kissed his cheek to encourage him to continue. "I'm not worried about Edward returning or your strange dreams. I'm worried that I will be the one biting you and not vice versa. I know that I've been better with my self control around you, but I'm still learning."  
"Jasper, you've been nothing short of amazing. It's like my blood doesn't even call to you anymore," I stated.

"That's where you're wrong, dear. Your blood has been calling to me more than ever this past week. The only reason that I've been able to control my thirst is because I've been hunting three times more than usual. Emmett even commented on how often he's seen me slinking away to the woods. If I keep this up, there won't be any more wildlife in Forks," he explained.

"Jasper, where are leading this conversation?" I asked, not understanding. I knew that he had been hunting more frequently because of our closeness. I didn't know why this was a problem, though. It was helping with his control, wasn't it?

"While I am getting better at controlling myself around you, the thoughts are still there. Every time I'm close to you, I still think about sinking my teeth into you and draining your blood. I can smell it pumping through your veins right now, Bella. It's like it's calling to me." I saw his eyes darken a shade as his nostrils flared.

"I've been racking my brain trying to figure out a way to make this easier. The obvious one is to turn you into one of us, but I don't want to do that if you're not ready for it. And it's important to discuss that with the others as well, because we would need to move first. Another alternative would be for us to keep our distances from one another until I've gotten used to your scent. I don't think either of us would be comfortable with that decision." I shook my head slightly in agreement with his words. There was no way I was going to be kept away from Jasper after we had just gotten together.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Bella. I just know that I can't continue with what's going on right now," he admitted softly.

"I can't be away from you, Jasper," I told him. My hands clenched tighter onto his body, my need for him once again overpowering my mind. "I don't think I understand fully why it's so much harder for you to be near me than the others. Is it really just because you're the newest to this lifestyle?"

"No, Bella, that's not the only reason. I'm not as innocent- as pure- as the others. I'm more of a murderer than you understand."


	20. Jasper's Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: Okay, some of you have wanted a chapter from Jasper's POV, so I'm giving it to you. I haven't done one from JPOV before, so I hope it doesn't suck. I'm also completely paraphrasing from the book and so don't want to get busted for plagiarism. I don't want to change Jasper's history, though, because it's a huge element in the saga. This chapter is going to be longer than the others as well, because I'm going to go through Jasper's entire history in one conversation.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twenty: Jasper's Memories (JPOV)

I held the fragile girl close to me as I prepared myself to share with her all of my secrets. I hoped that she was ready to hear this. She knew the stories of Edward, Carlisle, Alice, Emmett, and Esme. She hadn't even begun to hear the darkest of our stories, though. The Hale twins definitely had a flare for dramatics.

"Bella, dear, I want to tell you my history, but I'm worried because I don't know how you'll react to what you hear." I looked into her dark brown eyes that were gateways into her emotions. She was nervous and yet still excited by my mere presence. Maybe she could handle this. Edward had never given her enough credit for all that she'd been able to handle, and I would not make that same mistake.

"I want to know all about you, Jasper. I want to know about your life before and after you were a vampire and how you came to be with the Cullens. I love you, and nothing could ever stop that," she declared. It was the truth, and I almost couldn't control my own emotions of gratitude and love as I heard her words. I had never felt so much love from another person, not even Maria or Alice.

"I'll tell you, baby, but first you need to see." I moved my arm from around her small waist and held it closer to her face, allowing the lighting in our room to catch my scars. I saw her squint her eyes, looking closely at the hard texture of my pale skin. She had seen the crescent moon shape that matched her own.

"Jasper, you have a scar like mine," she stated as she traced one of the scars on my wrist with her fingertips. The soft fingertips then moved up my arm onto one of my other scars. "Jasper," she breathed out as recognition crossed her facial features. She saw the crescent shapes that covered my arm. "What happened to you?" she asked as her breathing start to pick up. I could sense that she was upset and nervous, not liking that I had been hurt so much in my past.

"It's okay, Bella. I don't feel them anymore. They are just reminders of my history," I assured her. I wrapped my arm around her again and felt her arm covering mine, still tracing soft patterns on my arm.

"How is it that I haven't noticed them?" she asked, unsure of herself now. I loved my Bella, but she thought so little of herself too often. Hopefully that would change once she was one of us, because there was no doubt in my mind that she would be at my side for eternity.

I smiled down at her. "Well, darling, you're not always that observant when my shirt's off. You are generally focused on other things," I teased her. I was relieved when she smiled back up at me.

"My upbringing was much darker than our siblings, my dear. There are places in the vampire world where a lifespan can be measured only by weeks and not centuries. There are places where we can be less restrained and yet still avoid detection. These places are dark and clouded with greed and power. The more people we are near, the easier it is to feed on them without getting noticed, like the South." I stopped for a moment, allowing myself to be taken back to my past.

"But the Volturi?" she asked. Her intelligence never surprised me, but I was still not used to her and I being so in tune with each other. I had been ready to mention them, but she beat me to the punch.

"They manage to keep these areas in check, thankfully. They are the only force that the southern covens fear. The south is a completely different world from what you've seen. The immortals only come out at night, spending their days plotting their next moves or anticipating their enemy's. There's been constant war for centuries in the south, fighting for control and power over the largest amount of human territories. Fighting for the best hunting grounds, really," I simplified.

"Long ago, a vampire had a thought that if he were the only vampire in the south then he would have free reign over the humans. He wouldn't have to share. Others have had the same thought, but there was one vampire named Benito that invented a strong tactic in order to achieve this goal. He came from north of Dallas and massacred two small covens that were sharing the area near Houston. He took on a much stronger clan of allies that had claimed Monterrey and won against them as well."

"How did he win, Jasper? Was he stronger?" she asked. I felt my love for Bella grow. She was my equal. She understood what others couldn't, and she was not afraid to voice her opinions or her questions.

"He had created an army of newborn vampires, the first to think of this. Newborns are volatile, wild, and impossible to control. One newborn could be reasoned with and taught; however, ten or fifteen together are a nightmare. They will turn on each other as easily as enemies would. Benito had to keep making more of them, because they would fight and kill each other."

"Newborns are dangerous, but they are possible to defeat if you know what you're doing. They are incredibly strong for their first year or so. They're slaves to their instincts and thirst, though. They have no technique or skill in their fighting and rely on brute force," I explained to her. She needed to know this, because she would be one soon enough.

"Like Emmett," Bella teased, knowing that our family was listening in on our conversation. As much as they loved us, they were nosey as hell.

I laughed with her as we heard Emmett grunt from across the hallway. "Somewhat, my dear. The vampires in southern Mexico learned of Benito's plan to come after them and so in return started to create their own armies of newborns. All hell broke loose, darling. It wasn't a good time to be human in Mexico." She shuddered slightly and I pulled her tighter to me, offering any comfort I could.

"The Volturi finally stepped in when the body count reached epidemic proportions. They brought the entire guard to North America, killing Benito first before moving on to anyone else who had newborns. This took a year for the Volturi to finish, and Mexico was left without vampires for a long while. They were able to preserve our way of life, but like always it didn't take long for covens to begin disputing again. There was still a lot of bad blood, pardon my pun."

She chuckled against my chest, still able to enjoy my humor. "The idea of newborns could not be extinguished, but the southern covens had learned to be much more careful, not wanting to bring the Volturi back into their land. Newborns began to be selected from the human pool with more care and were given more training. The Volturi are not stupid by any means and knew what was going on. They let it continue as long as they were careful.

"Jasper, you were-"

I cut her off, nodding my head. "Yes, baby, that's how I was changed. I lived in Houston when I was human and had joined the Confederate Army in 1861 when I was only 17 years old. My military career was short-lived, but very promising all the same. People liked me and listened to what I had to say, and this allowed me to be promoted quickly through the ranks. I was the youngest major in Texas, even considering that I had lied about my age and said I was 20 when I joined. I was in charge of evacuating women and children from Galveston, having only a day to prepare them.

I remember the night that I was changed very clearly. We had reached the city after dark, and I had stayed long enough to make sure the entire party was safely situated. As I was heading out of Galveston, I saw three women on foot and assumed they were stragglers. I got off my horse and was about to offer my assistance when I noticed their faces in the dim moonlight. They were the three most beautiful women I had ever seen."

Before I could continue, I gauged Bella's reaction and was not surprised to feel her normal self-consciousness rise from the depths of her emotions. She had no idea how much she meant to people, how amazing she was. "Until I met you, that is." I moved one of my hands to her face and traced her jaw line down to her lips. My finger stopped its descent at her lips as she opened them and took a small nip at my finger. We both chuckled.

"My hair was standing up on the back of my neck as the three talked about me like I wasn't there. They were contemplating my stature, my strength, and deciding if they wanted to turn me or not. I knew that they were dangerous, but I had been taught to not fear women but to protect them. I stood motionless as Maria approached me and asked my name." I saw Bella's face look up at me, asking the question silently. "Jasper Whitlock was my name then," I answered her.

"Bella Whitlock," she whispered so low that the others wouldn't have heard even with their exceptional hearing. Without any forewarning, I pulled her tighter to me and leaned down to kiss her full on the mouth. She wanted my name. Not just the name that I had grown to use, but my actual name. The only thing that tied me to my past as a human. I had never felt happier or more turned on than at that moment, but I knew that I had to finish explaining my life to the girl in my arms.

I pulled back from the kiss slowly, smiling to Bella when I noticed that unashamed lust that had clouded over her eyes. "I thought that she was leaning in for a kiss, but I was wrong. A few days later, I was introduced to my new life and my new companions for the time. Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They were survivors of the recent battles and had formed a partnership of convenience. Maria wanted a superior army. She gave us newborns more attention and more training, teaching us to fight and to be invisible to humans. And she would reward us." I didn't elaborate, knowing that Bella would understand my discomfort with this part of the story.

As I expected, she again felt self-conscious, so I placed a soft kiss to her temple, showing my love and adoration for her. "There were a few other newborn male soldiers, but I was stronger and quicker than them. Maria was pleased with me but also frustrated that she had to replace the ones that I took out. I was put in charge of the others and managed to decrease the casualties with my leadership skill. My ability to control emotions was put to good use and eventually helped us work together instead of against one another."

Bella was still listening intently and becoming more comfortable on our bed. She moved her legs to tangle with my own and curled into my bare chest. It was awe-inspiring how she could hear the worst things about me and still want to be close to me. "I didn't know that there was another way to live as a vampire, and at the time I wasn't interested. I worshipped the ground that Maria walked on and only wanted to please her. We took over Monterrey, defeating another army of newborns without difficulty.

"Maria got greedy and throughout my first year as a vampire, we extended our control to cover most of Texas and northern Mexico. The others came from the south, wanting to dislodge her control. The fighting was intense, because many had begun to worry that the Volturi would return. I was the only survivor of the first eighteen months out of the 23 original newborns. Nettie and Lucy turned against Maria, and we had to take them out as well. Maria and I held onto Monterrey and it quieted slightly even though the wars were still happening.

We kept a dozen or so newborns at our hand, using them as pawns. We would dispose of them once they were useless to us. This was my life for years, and I grew sick of it for a very long time. This went on for decades before I was able to befriend a newborn named Peter who was in charge of babysitting the newborns. He was more civilized and didn't approve of disposing of the newborns the way that Maria and I had been doing.

He was in love with one of the newborns named Charlotte and I let them escape instead of taking them out. This upset Maria, of course. Five years went by before he came back for me while Maria was becoming more agitated and confused with my deteriorating frame of mind. She didn't feel the same for me as she once had, and I could sense that she was going to turn on me.

Peter explained to me that he and Charlotte had lived without fighting and had even met others in the north. They were able to co-exist, and I wanted this as well. I wanted to leave Maria without having to kill her, and this seemed the best solution to my problem. I had been with her as long as Edward and Carlisle were companions before the others joined them. Our relationship was obviously different, but we were not as bonded together. We lived for the fight, for blood and not each other. I walked away from it all.

My depression continued even as I was living with Peter and Charlotte, and I never understood what was wrong with me. It was worse after I hunted. Peter and I came to the conclusion that all my years of slaughter and carnage had left me void of humanity. I was no longer Jasper Whitlock, but a monster instead. I didn't know that there was another option to hunting, so I didn't see a solution in sight for me.

I was in Philadelphia during a storm and had ducked into a little diner to take shelter from the weather, not wanting to attract attention to myself. Alice was there, waiting for me. I had never felt love like that before and I knew that there was hope for me. She told me of the vision she'd had of Carlisle and we came here to join our family. I was still skeptical, but I knew that I could trust them."

I finished explaining who I was to Bella and looked at her face, preparing myself to gauge her reaction. Bella was always surprising, but I didn't want her to be ashamed of me. I wanted her to know that I was trying and that I did love her, but that I wasn't fully capable of being with her yet, of trusting myself completely around her. I was speechless when I saw and sensed what she was feeling.


	21. Assurances of Love

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: I'm switching back to Bella's POV now that Jasper had told his story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twenty-One: Assurances of Love

I was staring up at Jasper, my body still wrapped together with his. I had listened to his story, registered everything he told me. I knew that he was worried my feelings for him would change. He was right. How could I still feel the same way for him after hearing everything he had done and gone through? I loved him even more now that I knew.

"You are nothing short of amazing, Jasper Whitlock. You are so much stronger than you let yourself believe, because others wouldn't have been able to walk away. They wouldn't have been strong enough to leave a lifestyle of power and thirst and to try and make themselves a better person and a happier person. I don't understand how you have gone through everything you just told me and still feel like the weakest link in our family. You're the strongest, baby," I finished.

I had unshed tears in my eyes, tears for Jasper's hardships and tears of happiness that I had someone that I loved so much. I leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Jasper, I know that you're concerned with not having the strength to deny me and to fight your thirst for me. I understand that, and I will do whatever it takes to make it easier for you because I don't want you to have to suffer because of me. But I really do believe that you are stronger than you think."

He looked down at me with shock on his facial expression. His hands were still on my hips, but they were hanging limply now. "How are you proud of me after hearing what I did?"

"Because that's not what you do now, Jazz. You're not a killer anymore, and the only reason you were before is because you didn't know any better. You thought it was the normal way of life for a vampire, and maybe in reality it is. But you chose to go against the grain and to find a better life where you didn't have to hurt and kill others. You may believe that you lost your humanity while you were with Maria, but I believe that you found it all on your own and that if you ever really did lose it that you've gained it back. You are so amazing to me, baby."

I pulled his face toward mine again and kissed him softly, slowly. This was difficult for him to do, to open up to me and share his story. I needed him to understand that I loved him no matter what he did or what he was. We both fell into the kiss for a few moments before I pulled away, placing soft quick kisses on his lips as I did.

"I love you," I told him.

"I love you, too, Bella. I love you so much," he admitted. He pulled my body closer against him so that I was half on top of him and clung to me.

I didn't have to be an empath to feel the relief and love that Jasper was experiencing right now. He had come clean about his insecurities; it was my turn now.

"It's so good to hear you say that. As unsure as you feel about yourself, it's just as bad for me. I know that Alice has seen my future, but it is subjective. I want to spend forever with you, Jasper," I told him.

"I want that too, Bella," he said as he grabbed my face in his hands and looked me in the eye. "All I need is you. I know that Edward was always very uncertain because he didn't want to damn you. I don't think that will be a problem, though. You'll be with our family, and we'll be there to help you and to make sure that you don't hurt anyone. There's still hope for you to avoid damnation."

"Jasper, I'm not worried about damnation. We'll just never die, okay?" I granted him a large, bright smile to ease the tension in our room. He chuckled and smiled back down at me. "What I don't understand, though, is how she doesn't hate me for what I've done to her."

"What are you talking about, Bella?" Jasper asked, his smile fading into a worried expression. He must have felt my self loathing.

Before I could answer him, our bedroom door opened and Alice stood in the entrance with a frustrated expression on her face.

"Bella, you have got to stop thinking about that," she chastised me. The pixie walked into the bedroom and sat at the foot of the bed. Jasper and I both sat up on the bed, looking at her and waiting for her to speak again. "I could never hate my sister."

"Some sister I am," I mumbled. "You were his salvation for decades. You taught him about love, and now I'm going to be reaping all the benefits."

She chuckled at that. "Nice wordage there, Bella. Jasper and I were very happy together. We were in love, but that changed somewhere along the way. Jasper and I were together because I saw it. But you know that my visions are subjective. It wasn't meant to be forever. I'm fine with that, and I am confident that there is something or someone else coming for me in my future." Alice grabbed my hands in her own and squeezed them. "I'm okay with this."

"I love you, Alice." I pulled her in for a hug and was grateful that she was able to stop us from falling off the bed due to my overzealous nature.

"I love you, too, Bella dear," she replied. "Good night," she said as she stood from the bed and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

"There's only one more thing that we have to deal with now," Jasper said softly, pulling me by my waist until I was leaning against him leaning against the headboard.

"Easier said than done, darling." I sighed as I began toying with his fingers in mine. "I know that he hurt me, but I don't want to do the same. And I don't want him to hate me," I admitted my fear to my over-understanding boyfriend.

"Edward could never hate you no matter what you do. Maybe it would be best for us to leave for awhile after we tell him. That way he can be with our family and not have to see us in his face all the time," he offered.

"You mean you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from holding me and kissing me in front of him?" I teased.

Jasper smiled and dropped a kiss on my forehead. "Never. If we're in the same room together, I think it's absurd for us to not be touching."

"I agree with you wholeheartedly, Jazz. It seems that I just can't get enough of you. Which is why I think that it's time for us to also come clean with Charlie about our relationship. I think he knows that something is going on, but I don't know how much he has figured out yet."

"He suspects that we're together, but he doesn't approve of it. The other day, when he found us together in your living room after you had broken the kitchen table with Jacob's back, he said something under his breath," Jasper admitted.

"I remember, but I couldn't hear him. What did he say, honey?" I asked.

"He hopes that you don't get tangled up with me, because he doesn't want you to get your heart broken again."

"Of course. Charlie is so protective of me, but he's going to have to see that won't happen. You'll never break my heart, just like I'll never break yours," I vowed. "So after we speak with Edward tomorrow, we'll probably want to get away from the house for a few hours. We can go see Charlie and then go hide for awhile because we will definitely be drained."

"I think we should skip right to the hiding part," Jasper teased. I laughed against his chest before leaning over him and lowering my mouth to his neck, planting a gentle kiss there. "Or maybe you would prefer to practice a little right now?" he asked. I nodded my head as an answer while I kissed my way down to his shoulder and then down his strong arm.

I dropped a tiny kiss on every crescent scar I could see. They were on his forearms, his shoulders, and there were a few on his chest as well. I assumed that these scars were received a different way than the others, but I didn't care. I wanted to kiss away all the pain that Jasper had ever had to go through.

Jasper and I got so lost in ourselves again that we never heard the front door open. I was too preoccupied helping Jasper rid me of my shirt to hear the footsteps on the stairway. The only thing I could hear was Alice yelling Jasper and my names out in warning as his hands started to lower my bra straps.


	22. Welcome Home, Edward

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: SparklingTopazEyes, you are right on the money. Eddie's home early!

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twenty-Two: Welcome Home, Edward

"Bella?"

I froze as I heard my name whispered from behind me. I looked down at Jasper with shock and fear evident on my face. As if he couldn't feel it. I slowly turned my head to look over my shoulder, the world in slow motion now.

I'd never seen anyone look so wounded before, not even Jasper when he'd been reliving his past with me. Edward was standing in the doorway, wearing his usual lightly toned clothing. Edward was always pale, but he looked whiter at this moment as he was staring in shock at his brother and me.

Jasper moved my bra straps back onto my shoulders without a word. I couldn't move from my position on top of Jasper even though I knew that I should. My dark brown eyes refused to leave Edward's golden ones. I could feel a whirlpool of emotions start to gather inside me. Jasper started to lightly rub my arms, trying to diffuse the emotional outburst that was inevitably going to occur.

It didn't work. I couldn't stop my guilt, sadness, fear or nervousness from coming to the surface and exploding. I was still getting used to this. The window in our bedroom broke causing glass to shatter down the outside of the house. Some stray pieces landed on the hardwood floor.

I looked down at Jasper, apologizing with my eyes. He simply smiled softly and leaned up to place a quick kiss on my lips. "It's okay, dear. Windows can be replaced."

"Stop touching her!" Edward yelled from behind us. I whipped my head around and lost my balance, tumbling off of Jasper and landing with a thud next to our bed. Edward had always been the fastest of the family, and he reached my side before Jasper could. He roughly pulled me up from the floor and placed himself in between Jasper and me.

"Edward, wha—" I couldn't get out my sentence before Jasper had launched himself off the bed and stood face to face with Edward, both of them staring menacingly at each other.

"Leave her alone," Jasper warned his younger brother as he prepared to crouch down in a fighting stance. His eyes were black as night, offering an unspoken threat to his prey.

"You have no right to tell me what to do concerning Bella," Edward retorted with a snarl.

"Stop talking about her as if she's not even here, you two!" Alice yelled as she barged into the room. She shoved Edward to the side- putting some distance between the two of us- and stood beside me, holding my hand to offer me support. She leaned toward me and whispered into my ear. "Try to stay calm, Bella. Stay away from the fight or you'll get hurt."

Me getting hurt? You don't say. I looked up at Alice, shock still apparent on my face. I didn't know what to do. I looked back and forth between Jasper and Edward who were still staring at each other wordlessly. They had started circling the room, both of them ready to lunge.

"Bella, why are you half naked?" Rosalie asked from the doorway. She and Emmett had come to watch the fight and probably referee if they were needed.

"Well, Rose, it appears that I walked in on quite the romantic moment between my brother and my girlfriend!" Edward answered for me.

"She's not _your_ girlfriend, Edward. You left her," Jasper explained to him, contempt dripping from his voice. I had only ever heard him so angry when I was running from James.

"And you didn't even five minutes before making a move on her!" my former bronze-haired God accused my new lover. It wasn't like that, though. He had no idea what had happened when he was gone. I couldn't just stand here and let Edward make wrongful accusations. Jasper hadn't done anything wrong.

"Stop it," I whispered. They both heard me and looked in my direction. Jasper immediately relaxed and smiled apologetically at Alice and me. Edward stayed tense but had now directed his full attention to me. "That's not how it happened, and you know that, Edward."

"I don't know anything anymore, Bella. I came home to lecture my family for not giving you peace and instead I find you in bed with my brother!" Edward's face was twisted in pain and confusion. It cut me to the core to see him like this. Because of me. But then I remembered that I had been the same because of him.

"Edward, you need to calm down and listen to us. You know that we would never intentionally hurt you. Not like you did to me last week, anyway," I stated. I held my head up high and raised my eyebrows, daring him to argue with me. I knew that it was a low blow, but I also knew that Edward would not listen to reason right now. He was too furious.

My remark had the desired affect, because Edward reeled back from me as if I had physically lashed out toward him. I took the opportunity to speak. "When you all left, I didn't know how I would be able to hold myself together. I started to shut down, but thankfully Jasper could feel that and he came back to help me. He came back to support me and to make sure that I was okay." I took a deep breath to fight off the tears that were threatening to spill.

Alice put her arm around my shoulders as Emmett handed her my discarded shirt. Before continuing, I shrugged myself into it. "I know that it's only been a week, but Jasper and I grew closer and we have this connection and neither of us expected to feel this way about each other, but it happened." I looked over at Jasper then who was staring in awe at me. I could see the love shining from his eyes and relaxed against Alice's body.

"So you're in love with my brother now, is that it?!" Edward demanded to know. "I left you here for your own good, Bella! In case you forgot, Jasper is the one who almost killed you on your birthday!"

Jasper growled and got into his fighting stance again. This was not going well. Edward turned to him with an angry smirk.

"That's right, big brother. You almost killed her, and now you're making out with her while your wife is living down the hallway." Edward ignored Alice's hiss at her mention in this conversation. "How twisted could you be?"

Jasper had had enough now and lunged for Edward, making contact and pushing him up against one of the walls of our room. Jasper held Edward up against the wall and growled at him. I could see Emmett out of the corner of my eye, ready to move in and break his brothers apart from each other.

I acted faster. I walked up to the two vampires who had special places in my heart and placed a hand on each of their arms. Edward was so focused on Jasper that my soft touch startled him and he reacted without thinking. He threw his arm up in defense and knocked me backwards.

I couldn't describe the noise that came from my mouth as I cried out, hitting the wall near the window and sliding down onto the hardwood floor. I landed in the pile of glass from the window I had broken, causing one of the pieces to cut into my leg. Not again!

I looked up at the five vampires in the room, trying to gauge which one of them would come after me first. Alice's eyes darkened for a fraction of a second before she gained control over herself and called for Carlisle and Esme. They were approaching the house from the back yard, having just returned from hunting, and were in the bedroom within a few seconds.

"Emmett, Rosalie, get them out of here. Alice, go get my supplies bag," Carlisle ordered as he approached me to look at my fresh wound. He took hold of my leg in his hands. "Can you feel any glass still inside, Bella?"

I shook my head, not worried about my leg. I caught Jasper's gaze as Rosalie shoved him out into the hallway. He wasn't reacting to my blood, but he was still tense from his fighting with his brother. He was worried about me and wanted to stay in the room. "Jasper, don't go," I begged.

That was all it took. Jasper broke away from Rosalie's grip and was at my side before I could even close my mouth from speaking. I was in his arms, cradled against his chest. Jasper could feel my pain and moved his hand to my lower back, trying to soothe the hurt where I had hit the wall. "Don't worry, baby, I'll make it all better," he whispered to me as he planted a soft kiss on my neck.

I could hear Edward's loud growl from the hallway a slight second before I heard the back door slam shut and fall off its hinges.


	23. Leaving the Past Behind You

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: Mad Muffin: I also enjoy Jasper half naked. Just wait a few more chapters, and I promise that he'll be all the way naked. Journey2002: Thank you so much for your kind words. I am a grammar whore, so I really try to not have errors in my work. It kills me when I notice one after I've posted the chapter already. And I'm still figuring out where I'm taking it, so you'll know as soon as I do.

A/N 2: Just an FYI that it was extremely hard for me to write this chapter, because as much as I love Jasper, I really am a total Edward/Bella fan. Sorry if it seems rushed or strained, but I tried.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twenty-Three: Leaving the Past Behind You

I giggled as Jasper placed a light kiss on top of the bandage on my leg. It was such a simple gesture, but I knew that it meant more than anything. He was learning to manage his thirst around me. It was just another testament of our love.

"Does your back still hurt?" he asked from his spot next to me on the sofa in his living room. I nodded my head slightly but shrugged afterwards. It wasn't as bad as it had been half an hour ago. Carlisle had given me some Advil and it was working.

Rosalie and Emmett burst through the back door, causing all of us to turn our heads toward them.

"He didn't leave town, but we can't find him anywhere," Rosalie announced to the group. Her eyes stopped on me as she gave me a sad smile. Her attitude toward me had greatly improved within the last few days. I don't why it happened, but I would take it while I could.

"I know where he is," I stated before Alice could search for him in her visions.

"I knew you would," Emmett said as he sat across from me in the Cullens' loveseat. Rosalie soon followed, landing in his lap.

"Bella, you don't have to go to him if you don't want to," Esme told me. I know that she wanted me to reach out to Edward, but she understood how I was torn between my past and my future lovers.

"I need to speak with him alone." I looked up at Jasper and was not surprised when he simply nodded his head in understanding. I kissed him before rising from the couch. "We'll be back soon," I promised before running out the back door.

I don't know what compelled me to actually run, especially given my track record. Amazingly enough, I managed to make it to our meadow without hurting myself any further. The pain in my back and leg were numb now. I stopped at the edge of the clearing and watched him sit in silence, staring over the edge of the small cliff.

"I knew that if I waited long enough, you would come," he said without turning around.

"How could I not?"

"How could you fall in love with my brother in just a week's time?" he countered. It stung to hear him say the words aloud, even though I knew that he was thinking them just the same. He was right.

"I can't explain it," I said simply. I walked over to where he sat and joined him on the ground. I leaned against him and was comforted when he didn't pull away from me. "I have loved you since the first moment I saw you on my first day at Forks High. We have been through so much, so much more than any normal teenage couple could begin to comprehend. I will always love and cherish you in a place in my heart, because you were my first love."

I felt Edward's body tighten as I used past tense words. He deserved my honesty, and I know that he would appreciate me not sugarcoating anything for him. He had lived for a century before me, and he would live for who knows how many after me.

"When you left- even though it was for a short time- it made me realize that we really weren't meant to be together. You could leave me. You could live without me. I resented you for it, Edward, because I didn't think that I could. I just wanted to stay in the forest and never be found, but I was. Jasper found me. He could feel the pain I was in, and he came back to make sure that I would be okay."

"As if blaming himself wasn't enough, he decided to take me on as his responsibility. It is thanks to him that I was never submerged into darkness and self-loathing. And it is thanks to him that Laurent didn't kill me when he had the chance. I don't know how or when it happened. All I know is that I started depending on him and falling in love with him. We never meant for this to happen, but it did. And I'm glad it did, because Jasper is so amazing and I really am lucky to have him."

I stopped, not knowing how much more Edward would want to hear. I wanted to be honest, but I didn't feel the need to torment him. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "You don't have to protect me, Bella."

"I just—I just feel freer to be myself with him. I don't have to be perfect; he loves me for my flaws. He knows that I'm not one to be held back and to be shielded. Jasper knows that I can take care of myself and that I am a strong person. He doesn't try to hold me back or keep me from trying things that may be dangerous. It's like every day is an adventure with him," I explained.

"All I ever wanted was to protect you from what we were," Edward justified.

"It wasn't your job. No one person can solely be responsible for taking care of another person's life. Even parents come in pairs, generally speaking. Jasper understands that I'm his equal, not his responsibility."

We sat in silence for a moment, both of us looking down at the town of Forks. I shivered and Edward's arm wrapped tighter around my shoulders. I leaned closer into him and wrapped my own arm around his waist. "Will you ever forgive me?" I whispered into his chest.

"I already have, my sweet Bella." He kissed the top of my head. "I could never stay angry with you, because I love you too much. I will always love you, Bella, even if I can't have you as my partner. I still want you in my life."

"I'll always be in your life, Edward. We're family." I pulled back to look up into his eyes. They were still dark with sadness, but I could see understanding in them as well. I placed my hands on his cheeks and pulled his face to mine, resting our foreheads together. I placed one final kiss on Edward's cold lips before pulling away.

"Please don't cry, Bella," he begged me. "I can't stand to see you hurting."

I chuckled under my breath. "I could say the same thing to you, Edward."

"I have an eternity to deal with it," he said, shrugging off my concern for him. "And I'll still have you in my life."

"Forever." I spoke the word without thinking. I didn't realize that it would cut Edward even deeper than he already was.

"So Jasper is going to—" He couldn't finish the sentence.

"We haven't really talked about it yet. But I couldn't imagine not spending forever with him. I couldn't bear for something as insignificant as time to stand in our way."

"Time is not insignificant, especially when you have lots of it. Think long and hard before acting on your urges, sweetheart. It's more dangerous than you think," he warned. Edward swiftly stood from the ground and pulled me up with him.

"I am so not speaking with you about that, Edward."

"Good, because I don't want to hear about it. I just want you to be careful. Jasper is still new at the vegetarian lifestyle, Bella. He proved that at your birthday party."

"He's only weak because you make him out to be. All of you have no faith in him, but I do. Jasper has not tried to hurt me once since we've been spending more time together. Even today, when my leg was bleeding, he was fine. He stood by my side while Carlisle wrapped it in a bandage. He kissed the bandage, Edward. He is fine, and I am perfectly safe with him."

My voice had risen to a shout by the end of my tirade. I couldn't stop it from happening, though. How dare he judge my boyfriend?! He hadn't even seen us together this week. His first impression of us as a couple was caving in on our hormones.

"Bella, I don't mean to insult Jasper, but I do want you to stay safe from harm. I would do anything to protect you, even if you don't want me to. That is how important you are to me." Edward grabbed my arms, holding me in front of him.

"I don't know, Edward, maybe Jasper was right. Maybe he and I should go away for awhile. That way, you can get used to it all. We wouldn't be rubbing it in your face. You could learn to understand that I'm safe with him, and that I can take care of myself. Did I not prove that earlier today when you two were starting to get violent?" I raised my eyebrow at him, daring him to deny what I was saying.

"Oh, you mean when I accidentally knock you into the wall. Yeah, you were doing a knock-up job of taking care of yourself then," he taunted me.

"No, I mean when I broke the window of Jasper and my bedroom with my mind," I yelled at him. I don't know which shocked him more, the fact that I admitted to him that Jasper and I were sharing a room or the fact that I had managed to break the window with my new power.

"That really was you, wasn't it?" he asked, dumbfounded. "I was hoping that it was just a freak coincidence. I had been trying to keep it out of my mind."

"Why? It means that I can finally bring something to the table when we're in trouble. I help Jasper fight off Laurent. Me! I am not the same helpless Bella that you fell in love with last year."

"I see that now," he whispered. Edward's hands dropped from my arms and to his side. He turned away from me and took a step toward the clearing. When I didn't move, he turned back to me. "Come on, let's go home."

I reached out and grabbed his hand as we started walking at a human pace back to the Cullen home. It was my home now, too. "You should talk to your brother, too, Edward. I don't want you to be angry with each other."

"I will, Bella."

Neither of us noticed the movement on the other side of our clearing. I only saw an orange streak out of the corner of my eye, but I was too preoccupied to think anything of it.


	24. Stolen Moments

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has helped put me over 100 reviews with this story! I wasn't planning on posting a chapter this soon, but I wanted to thank you. Hope you like it; I'm giving you a little Jasper/Bella lovin'.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twenty-Four: Stolen Moments

Edward and I walked into the house, laughing at each other. We had spent the entire walk home seeing who could trip the other person more times. Needless to say, I lost. When we walked into the living room, everyone was gathered around the television watching a movie. Carlisle and Esme were curled together in the love seat while Rosalie and Emmett were tangled up in the oversized chair. Jasper was leaning against the couch that Alice was laying across. He looked up and smiled at me when I walked into the room.

I pranced over to Jasper and fell into his lap, throwing my arms around his neck. "I missed you," I whispered against his cool skin. My smile widened when Jasper's arms tightened around me and pulled me closer to him.

"I missed you, too, baby," he said as he dropped a soft kiss on the top of my head. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's going to be great," I announced to him. We both looked up and smiled at Edward as he sat down on the couch, pushing Alice's legs out of the way and earning a playful hiss from her. We chuckled. I noticed the nod that Jasper and Edward shared between each other, apologizing for their fighting earlier.

"So what are we all watching?" Edward asked, focusing his attention to the television.

"Dirty Dancing," Rosalie and Alice announced together.

"It appears that Bella has gotten Rosalie and Alice addicted to this movie, and so we're all trying to understand why," Carlisle reasoned.

I turned toward the television, settling myself in Jasper's lap and leaning against his chest. "It's a classic," I offered as an explanation.

"How many times have you seen this?" Jasper whispered in my ear as he moved his hands to rest on my hips.

"Too many times to count. Why?" I asked, turning my head to the side and giving him a flirtatious smirk.

"Well, I just thought we could go to bed early tonight. It has been a draining day," he reasoned as he moved in to kiss my neck.

Before I could finish nodding my head, Jasper had picked me up and carried me up to our bedroom, slamming the door shut behind us. I could hear our family chuckle from downstairs as he threw me onto our bed.

Jasper hovered above me and looked into my eyes. We just stayed there for a moment, staring at each other. These were my favorite moments. The silent ones where we just basked in each other's presence. I reached up and cupped his face in my hands, bringing it down to mine for a kiss. He couldn't deny me. Now would be the best time to get anything I wanted out of him.

"Jasper," I whispered against his lips. It came out as more of a moan, because his hands had worked their way underneath my shirt and were currently caressing my breasts through my bra. He really made it hard for a girl to keep her train of thought.

"Yes, baby?" he asked innocently. He knew exactly what he was doing, because I could feel his smirk against my lips.

I don't know if it was my hormones or the fact that I now felt more powerful than I ever had before, but I somehow found the strength to flip Jasper over so that he was lying on his back and I was straddling his waist. He laughed loudly when I did this, and I could hear it echo through the hallway. Oh well.

Before he could say anything, I had lifted my shirt over my head and thrown it across the room. His was next. I grabbed the bottom of his tee shirt and started tugging it upward, making Jasper sit up in the process. I had it across the room with mine in three seconds.

Jasper's hands worked their way around my back and unhooked my bra with no effort. I was going to pretend that it was his vampire reflexes instead of a large amount of practice. I pulled back from our demanding kisses and looked in his eyes. As much as I loved Jasper and knew that he loved me, I was new at this. I had never been naked in front of someone before.

Jasper, having felt my tension and nervousness, placed a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. "I love you, Bella. You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen," he said as he slowly pulled my bra straps down my arms and tossed it to the side.

"Jasper… I thought that you said… that you didn't want to with everyone… I mean—" I couldn't get a sentence out right now.

"Bella, dear, I am waiting for our first time together to be until we have more privacy," he explained, understanding what I was asking him without needing to hear my words. When I raised my eyebrow at him, he continued. "That doesn't mean we can't be close to each other. It doesn't mean that we can't do anything at all, because I have to admit that it would be damn near impossible for me to not touch you."

I smiled down at him and leaned back in for a kiss. This time Jasper caught me by surprise as he flipped us over and hovered above me again. He rained kisses down my neck and chest, stopping at my stomach to lightly blow into my belly button, easing my nervousness and tension.

He licked a line above my jeans and smiled as I shivered from the intimate contact. "Jasper," I moaned. He moved back up my body and buried his face in my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just trying to keep a handle on myself, baby. I don't want to hurt you or lose control," he admitted. I understood that it was difficult for him to be this close to me, but my own needs and selfishness were winning the battle with my own self control. Damn those crazy teenage hormones.

"You won't hurt me, honey. I trust you," I told him. I moved my own hands to his jeans and fumbled with the button and zipper for a minute before Jasper stopped me. I looked up at him questioningly.

"Tonight isn't about me, darling," he said simply as he started to work on the button and zipper of my own jeans. He pulled them down my legs, and I have no clue where he threw them once they were off me. I was too distracted by lying in my underwear in front of my boyfriend.

That previously mentioned boyfriend was now kissing his way up my leg. He stopped when he got to my hip and looked up at me, asking for permission. I nodded my head once, letting him know it was okay to remove my underwear. I honestly couldn't tell you how long Jasper spent exploring me with his fingers and tongue.

All I know is that it was the most intense pleasure I have ever felt in my entire life. It's true that I don't have anything to compare it to, but I know what intense feels like. And I know enough to see that Jasper is definitely skilled in the bedroom. I wondered if it was a vampire trait or something left over from his human days that he had never gotten to experience.

After feeling release for the third time, Jasper finally took mercy on me and stopped his ministrations. I lay there in the afterglow with my head resting on his chest and my own chest heaving from exhaustion. I placed a soft kiss on Jasper's calm chest and looked up at his face. He was staring down at me with a wide smile.

"You're really not being very fair, you know." He raised his eyebrows to question my statement. "You've worn me out so much that I don't even have the strength to do the same for you," I explained. I moved my hand to the front of his jeans, trying to work my way inside.

Jasper chuckled and stopped my hand with his own. "Bella, dear, I told you that tonight was about you. I'll have my turn another time," he said simply. He dropped a kiss on my forehead.

"But Jasper, I –" I couldn't finish my sentence, because his lips were now on my own. I kissed him back, forgetting that we were having a conversation.

We pulled apart and he reached over and pulled the blanket over both of us so that I could soon find sleep. I curled myself into him, my head still resting against his cold, hard body. I caught a glimpse of the calendar hanging on his wall and sighed.

"Is that a good sound?" Jasper teased.

"The sound isn't good, but everything else is right now. I was just realizing that I haven't been home for two days now. Charlie is going to think that you've taken me hostage. Not that I'm complaining," I explained.

"Well, you did request that we properly introduce ourselves as a couple to Charlie," Jasper reasoned. "Tomorrow would be as good a time as any. I'm not sure how he's going to react, though, because he was really hoping that you would stay away from guys for awhile."

"Well, I don't care what Charlie was hoping for. He should be happy that his daughter is in love with someone who would do anything to take care of her and who wants to spend the rest of his days with her." I knew that it wasn't entirely realistic, but I couldn't contain my own happiness right now. I was too close and intimate with Jasper to be logical.

We lay in silence for awhile, just enjoying the closeness of one another. I heard some soft mumbling from down the hallway but thought nothing of it. There were six other people in the house with us, after all.

Jasper let out a low chuckle and explained before I had to ask him what he was laughing at. "Esme and Carlisle are looking up soundproofing walls on the internet. Rosalie was complaining that your screams were drowning out the sounds of the movie."

I joined in his laughter and also heard Emmett chuckling from downstairs. "Stop listening in, you perv!" I yelled to my surrogate big brother, knowing that he was listening. I was rewarded when his laughter amplified through the house.

"Welcome to the family, Bella."


	25. Lazy Sunday

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: lillyxtom, I haven't decided about Jasper and Bella having/not having a baby in this story yet. I'm still playing around with ideas in my head, but I promise that I will do whatever is best for the storyline.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twenty-Five: Lazy Sunday

I trudged downstairs with the kitchen in mind for my destination. Jasper had left for an early morning hunt before we met Charlie at my house. I had taken the opportunity to beg Alice to go to my house and steal some clothes for me to wear and was thankful that she had. I would definitely need to start keeping some clothes over here, because I had the feeling that there would be few nights where I would want to stay away from Jasper. And now that we were more intimate with each other, I didn't feel right staying at my house with Charlie two doors down.

I stopped when I reached the doorway of the Cullens' spacious kitchen. Either I was still halfway asleep or Emmett was standing over the stove, making me a rather large breakfast of eggs, pancakes, and sausage. I would not protest if it was the latter.

As if on cue, Emmett looked up at me and smiled. "I got you covered this morning, baby sister. All the trimmings made especially for you," he explained as he dumped some eggs onto an empty plate for me. I sat down at the countertop and watched as he piled on a few pancakes and sausage links as well.

"Thanks, big brother. I appreciate the thought," I answered as I took the plate and fork from his hands. "Did the others go hunting with Jasper?" I asked as I began to dig into the delicious breakfast that Emmett had prepared for me.

"Alice and Esme went along, but Carlisle had to go into the hospital. There was a car crash or something. Rosalie drug Edward out of the house to a movie to try and stop him from moping." It only took Emmett a minute to have all the dishes washed and put back onto their shelves. Esme had taught them all well. He joined me by sitting across from me at the counter.

"I'm glad that she did that for him," I said. "Although I don't know how Rosalie dragging anyone anywhere would improve their mood," I teased. Emmett chuckled at this.

"Hey, she actually likes you now." Emmett gave me a joking smile which I returned through a mouthful of pancakes. "Plus, I like hanging out with you, Bella. It was too close for comfort thinking that we wouldn't ever see you again. I didn't realize how attached I had become to my baby sister."

"I knew how attached I was to all of you. You're my family; you're where I belong," I stated the obvious with a shrug.

"Bella, you must be insane to want to belong to a family of predators." I had never heard Emmett speak about being a vampire in a negative way. I had always assumed that he felt the same similarities as the others; however, he had never expressed any feeling other than joy at what he was.

"Predators or not, I love you all."

At that moment, Jasper walked into the house with Alice and Esme close behind. They came right into the kitchen and Jasper walked up behind and wrapped his arms around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder and we both made a little moaning noise to signal that we were content now that we were close to each other.

Alice made a little giggling sound from beside us. "That's so cute," she said. "You act like cats, purring once you're near each other. On the way home, the closer we got to the house, the fast Jasper would run."

I turned my head slightly to the side, smiling back to Jasper. He was now dropping kisses onto my neck, breathing in my scent as he did. His hands had moved to rest on my thighs and were softly stroking them. I felt my body relax and lean back against his chest, forgetting that we had company in the room until Esme cleared her throat.

Jasper and I both looked back at her with guilty expressions on our face. "Sorry, mom," he said with fake sincerity. Jasper- like me- could never feel sorrow or shame for how we expressed our love for each other, even if it was in public.

Esme just chuckled from behind us. "Don't worry, darlings. I understand how you feel. We all do," she stated. She came around the counter and hugged Emmett. "Thank you for cleaning up after yourself," she commended him as she ruffled his hair. Emmett smiled in response.

I have never loved my family more than right now. Alice was standing near Jasper and I, happy that we were together. Emmett was smiling at Esme and vice versa. Both of them were sharing the bond of a mother and son. Jasper was holding me tightly against him, wanting to be close to me. It was all so comfortable and relaxed. The perfect Sunday morning.

I had barely finished the food on my plate when Esme took it and walked over to the sink. Even in the smallest ways, they were always taking care of me. Jasper- having felt a surge of love coming from me- placed another kiss on my cheek and turned me to look at him.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded my head and he lifted me from the stool, holding me for a second before placing me on the ground. We waved our good-byes to the three vampires in the kitchen and headed to the garage. We decided not to take the motorcycle, feeling no need to further worry Charlie about my new boyfriend. We instead opted to use Jasper's other mode of transportation, his vintage Porsche.

My family had a knack for expensive cars. I wondered if I would one day understand and feel the same way. When I was one of them, would I suddenly understand their appreciation for luxury items? I would hope that I wouldn't change too much from my human self, but I had no clue what living forever would do to me. The only thing I thought about when I looked into my future was Jasper. Everything else seemed unnecessary.

My thoughts had been so distracting that I didn't even notice we had arrived at my house until Jasper came around to my door and opened it for me. He helped me out of the car and we slowly walked up the porch and into my house. Charlie was- as I had expected- sitting at the kitchen table with his breakfast and newspaper. He didn't have to go into the station today.

He looked up from the sports section as Jasper and I walked into the room, hands entwined. Charlie noticed this and looked at me with a questioning stare, raising his eyebrows. My father and his facial expressions. Now I understood where I got mine from.

"Hi, dad," I said simply. I pulled Jasper into the kitchen with me and sat down across from Charlie at our new kitchen table. Jasper sat down next to me, placing the chair as close to mine as he could without Charlie noticing.

"Bella. Jasper."

"Good morning, Chief Swan," Jasper said politely. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks. Looks like you have something to tell me, though," he stated bluntly. Besides never hovering over me, I did also love that my father wasn't one for subtlety. Sometimes you just needed to get something off your chest, and he definitely understood this.

"You're right, dad. Jasper and I are together now, and he wanted to come over and introduce himself to you." I knew that if I gave Jasper credit for this thought, my dad would appreciate the thought.

"I don't know how I feel about this, Bella. It's only been a week since you and Edward broke up, and this can't be a good strain on the Cullen family," he reasoned. "How do Edward and Alice feel about it?"

"Alice is one of our biggest supporters, sir," Jasper answered him. "She just wants us both to be happy. Edward was upset at first, but he's fine now." Jasper didn't elaborate on Edward's feelings, understanding that this was part of the conversation I would need to have.

"Edward and I spent some time together yesterday, and he understands that I can't feel the same way for him as I used to. Not after how we ended things. He knows that Jasper has been with me since Edward left, supporting me and helping me through everything." I looked over to Jasper and smiled at him. He squeezed my hand with his own and I couldn't stop myself from leaning over and placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

Charlie said nothing while he processed this new information. I had to give my dad credit where it was deserved. He had adapted quite easily to having a teenage daughter. I know that I was more difficult than others, as well. I was never very open with my feelings, and I also hung out with vampires. I could get myself into trouble without knowing.

"Well, I'm glad that you told me about it, but I don't feel comfortable with you staying over at the Cullens' like you have been."

"Dad, I've been staying with Alice, not Jasper. You love Alice. And plus, their parents are there the entire time. They wouldn't want to leave us alone in the house overnight, either," I explained. Granted, they didn't really care what we did because they understood the depth of our love. My father wouldn't be able to grasp that. Not without knowing the truth about my other family.

"I'll think about it, Bella, but for no more overnights for now." It was hard to distinguish Charlie from his role of Police Chief or protective father. They both acted the same sometimes. "I promised Billy that I would go down to visit him today. There's a football game on in an hour. But I would like us all to sit down and have dinner together sometime. I want to get to know you, Jasper."

"Yes, sir. I'd like that, too," Jasper answered.

Charlie stood from the table and came around to kiss the top of my head. "I probably won't be home for dinner, Bells. See you later." Charlie grabbed his jacket and walked out of the house. Jasper and I sat still for a moment, listening to his car start and pull out of the driveway.

"That was easier than I had anticipated," he said, pulling me out of my chair and into his lap.

"Charlie's a pretty understanding guy," I explained to him. "He had to deal with all the Edward drama a few months ago, so he's probably just glad that I'm not with him anymore. He wants me to be with someone who will protect me when he can't."

"I will," Jasper promised. "But right now, there are a few other things that I would rather do to you," he said in a husky voice as he kissed me forcefully.

I responded with the same amount of need into the kiss and shrieked when Jasper's strong arms lifted me and carried me up the stairs to my bedroom. It looked like I was in for an afternoon of slow torture.


	26. An Unexpected Visitor

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: JaspersBella, I definitely understand where the breakup and the hookup are really close in time with each other. I'm an impatient person, and I didn't want to have to have a bunch of build-up for Jasper and Bella, because I wanted their connection to be something immediate. It was something that was in front of everyone throughout the entire first book, but no one ever saw it because it was dormant.

A/N: WittyKate, Bella is not ½ vampire already. I don't know all the specifics of her power yet, but I just really wanted her to not have to be the weakling in the group. I wanted her and Jasper to be equal to each other so that they could have a real relationship.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twenty-Six: An Unexpected Visitor

We reluctantly emerged from my bedroom four hours later. I was exhausted and my legs were wobbly, so Jasper had his arm around my waist to support me. He had a smug smile plastered on his face, and I couldn't tell if he was proud of himself for causing this reaction in me or if he was basking in his own recent pleasure. Either way, I loved that smile and I loved that I was the cause for it.

We had been totally tangled up in each other when my stomach had started to growl, and we decided it was best to take a breather and get me some sustenance. We were now driving to the diner in town, neither of us wanting to stray too far from our homes today. I had my head rested against the back of my seat and was staring at Jasper. His hand reached over to my seat and rested on my leg. It was nice that he had the same urge for physical contact as I did.

We walked into the diner and were greeted with a cheerful hello from the normal waitress. She was used to me coming in here with my father but smiled when she noticed I was with a younger man today. We both ordered something, and I noticed that Jasper ordered something I would like so that it wouldn't be entirely wasted with his not needing to eat human food.

While we waited, Jasper scooted his chair right next to mine so he could wrap his arm around my waist. Jasper was whispering into my ear and I had my eyes closed, enjoying his voice and breath against my skin when someone came up to our table and cleared their throat. We both looked up from where we were to see Mike Newton staring at us with shock on his face.

"Bella… You're with Jasper, now? Edward's brother?!" His face was twisted with confusion, pain, shock, and anger. I could just imagine what Jasper was feeling right now. That upset me more than anything else, really. Just knowing that Jasper had to deal with Mike's mix of emotions sent me right over the edge.

"Yes, Mike, I am," I answered in a flat tone. He took a step back, never having heard my voice so distant before.

"How did this even happen? When did it happen?"

"Jasper and I have known each other for over a year now, and we just recently realized that we wanted to be together. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else," I stated, hoping he would get the hint and finally get over his little infatuation with me.

Mike nodded and turned to walk out of the diner. He took one last look at our table and let the door slam shut behind him.

"We are certainly eliciting some strange reactions from people in this town," Jasper said as he sat back against his chair. His arm around my waist dropped when he did this.

"Who cares, baby?" I leaned against him and wrapped my own arms around his waist before placing a kiss on his waiting lips. "As long as we're together, I don't care what anyone says or does about it. Our family supports us, and that's all that matters. They'll be the ones who are with us forever."

Before he could respond, our order was placed in front of us and the conversation was distinguished. I ate and Jasper watched in silence. He would move around the food on his plate to make it look like he was eating with me. I chuckled every time I saw him do this. We were leaving the diner, ready to go back to my house for some more time alone, when Jasper's cell phone rang.

"Alice?" Jasper didn't say anything for a few seconds, but his face scrunched with worry as we walked to his car. "Are you sure it's her?" Another pause while Alice spoke on the other end. We stopped walking, and I looked up at him. He instinctively wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me flush up against him. His eyes scanned the scenery around us as if looking for something or someone. "Two days?! How could none of us have noticed?!" He looked disappointed. I tightened my own arms around him, causing him to look down at me and smile slightly. "We'll be home in a few minutes, and we can discuss it all then."

Jasper closed his phone and continued to look at me. "What's going on, baby?" I asked him.

"It seems that even with Laurent out of the picture, Victoria is still causing trouble. Alice had a vision of her, and it appears that she has been in Forks for two days now. None of us have caught onto her scent because we've all been busy in our own worlds," he explained.

"What was she doing in Alice's vision?" I asked, scared of the answer but needing to know.

"She was watching you from the forest behind your house," he explained as he placed his arm around my waist and helped me into the passenger seat of his car. Within a second, Jasper was in the driver's seat and we were driving toward home.

"If she's watching my house, we have to make sure that Charlie's safe," I told Jasper, feeling my anxiousness rise in me. I was breathing heavier now and starting to get a headache.

Jasper reached across the front seat and placed his hand on my leg, sending calming waves into me. "Please stay calm, Bella. I will take care of this. Call Jacob and warn him that Victoria is in town so that he knows to keep an eye on things while Charlie's at the reservation today," he instructed. His voice was soft and assertive, something that remained from his military days as a human.

I reached into my purse and pulled out my cell phone, immediately dialing the familiar phone number. Jacob answered after a few rings. "Jacob, listen, I need your help."

I heard his breathing become ragged on the other end. "Bella, what happened? Did the bloodsuckers hurt you?! I swear to God, I will kill them all."

"No, Jacob, it's not that! The Cullens would never harm me," I answered impatiently. He was always jumping to conclusions and judging my loved ones. From the driver's seat, Jasper tensed slightly. "Last year, when I ran back to Phoenix and got hurt, there was a vampire after me. He wasn't like the Cullens, Jacob. He isn't a vegetarian," I explained. "They killed him for hurting me, and now his mate is after me. She's back in town, and I need you to watch Charlie while he's at your house today. Make sure he's safe, Jacob," I instructed.

"Who's this vampire that's after you?" he asked.

"Her name is Victoria, and she's very smart. She's been in town for a couple days now, but we didn't know. She has deep red eyes and long, red hair. Trust me, you can't miss her."

"Okay, Bells, I'll have the others scout the forest to see if we can pick up her scent. I'll stay close to home today with dad and Charlie just to make sure they're okay," he agreed.

I sighed with relief. "Thank you, Jake. Thank you so much. I know that you'll take care of Charlie for me. As soon as we find out anymore information, I'll let you know." I hung up the phone, giving Jacob time to speak with the rest of his pack and configure their own game plan.

As soon as I put the phone back into my purse, Jasper was opening the passenger side door for me and helping me out. He picked me up in his arms and we were in the living room surrounded by his family within two seconds. Something was to be said about vampire speed. It was very convenient when you were freaking out.

Carlisle and Esme were standing near the back entrance of the house, whispering to each other while Emmett was pacing at the bottom of the stairwell, obviously wanting to get to the action. Rosalie and Alice were both sitting on the sofa, not saying a word while Edward was at his piano playing a melancholy number. Jasper set me on my feet and I walked over to sit between Alice and Rosalie on the sofa. Alice immediately threw an arm over my shoulder, knowing how upset I would be with this turn of event. Rosalie- still adjusting to our new camaraderie- placed a comforting hand on my leg.

Jasper walked over to Carlisle and joined in the whispered conversation. They were speaking very heatedly and it was upsetting to know that they were trying to keep secrets from me. I rose from the sofa and walked slowly over to the three by the back entrance of the home. I placed one of my hands on Jasper's forearm, causing him to look down at me.

He reeled back a step, sensing the betrayal that I was feeling. When he looked at me with a puzzled expression, I explained my feelings to him. "We don't have any secrets between each other, Jazz."

He nodded softly, having realized what I was feeling being left out of this conversation when it was circling around me.

Carlisle, being his normal perceptive self, started talking. "Bella dear, Jasper was explaining to us that Jacob was keeping an eye on your father while he is visiting his friend on the Quileute reservation. It was a very good idea of yours, but I'm not surprised by that. You are always putting others before yourself."

"He's my father, Carlisle. You understand the importance of protecting your family." Jasper's grip around my waist tightened as he pulled me against him. "So what's the plan?" I asked. "What did Alice see in her vision?"


	27. Bella's Idea

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Bella's Idea

We were all seated in a circle in the living room. Carlisle, Esme, and Alice were all on the couch while Edward was sitting in front of it. Emmett was sitting in the loveseat while Rosalie was seated across him in their oversized chair. Jasper was sitting on the coffee table, and I was curled up against him in his lap.

"I saw Victoria standing at the edge of the forest behind your house, watching you brush your hair in your room. She looked behind her and nodded to someone, but I couldn't make out who she was with. There was so much animosity and jealousy radiating from her. She was holding Jasper's wristband in her hand, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen," Alice explained.

I tensed in the strong arms around me and felt my lip quiver. She wouldn't stop until she had destroyed me, and that meant destroying Jasper. If she had been watching me for two days now, she must know that he was the most important person to me. He was also the person responsible for killing James, even though it had been to protect me. It was all centering on hurting him in order to hurt me. She would know that my idiotic human emotions would fuel my reaction to want vengeance as strongly as she did.

"I won't let her touch Jasper," I stated through gritted teeth. I felt my arms tighten around my boyfriend's waist.

"What are you planning on doing, Bella?" Edward asked. His tone was mixed with anxiety and disbelief. I don't know why; he would know better than anyone how I felt about sacrificing myself.

"I have an idea, but I need you all to be very open while you listen to it. You have to promise, each of you," I said adamantly while looking at each of my family members. They all nodded and I took a deep breath before beginning.

"First of all, I know that none of you made the decision to become a vampire and I respect that. But I have already made that decision, and nothing will stand in my way." I paused to gauge their reactions. Alice, Emmett, and Esme remained silent but I noticed that their mouths all lifted in the corners. Carlisle and Jasper both kept blank expressions on their faces, trying to remain open-minded per my request. Edward's eyes darkened as he stared in disgust at me, which only made me sit up straighter in my love's arms. Rosalie's face was the most confusing. She looked hurt but not surprised at my announcement.

"I am sick and tired of not being able to protect myself and of having to rely on you all. It's not fair to any of us. One of these days, there will come a time when one of you gets hurt trying to take care of me. How do you think I would feel then? Not only helpless, but responsible for your injury or much worse." I took another deep breath, stopping the wetness from overflowing from my eyes. It hurt to think that one of my family members could be killed by this new threat.

"I know in my heart that I will spend the rest of eternity with all of you. You're my friends, my family, and my heart. I couldn't imagine existing without you. I'm tired of putting this off. I'm tired of feeling helpless all the time and lesser than the rest of you. I know that I can help. She wants me, she wants to hurt me. And I would love nothing more than to take her out myself. But I can't do that with just my newfound power. We all know how inexperienced I am with it."

"I want to be turned so that I can take care of her. Newborns have incredible strength, and with all of your help I'll be able to find my control. I know that I can do this, but I need your support." I relaxed against Jasper's chest, having finished my reasoning.

"Bella, there are seven of us and therefore no need for you to be turned so quickly. We can handle Victoria with no trouble. We just need to know some more information about who is working with her," Carlisle stated.

"It's silly to put any of you in danger, though. I'm the one she wants," I answered.

"I don't care who she wants, Bella. You are not fighting her," Jasper told me through clenched teeth of his own.

"It's not your fight," I smugly replied.

"If it involves you then yes, it is. We haven't even discussed you turning into one of us yet," he said.

"Whose fault is that, Jasper?! Every time I try to bring it up, you change the subject." I turned to look at him, our faces only an inch apart.

"I don't want to make your decisions for you," he defended himself. His tone was growing frustrated, matching my own.

"What do you think you're doing right now by arguing with me?!"

"Dammit, Bella!"

"Both of you shut up!" Emmett yelled from his where he sat. We all turned to look at him in surprise. "There's really only one way that will resolve this conversation. We all just need to put it to a vote. If it gets turned down, we're back to square one and come up with another plan."

"Good idea, big brother," I said cheerily with a smile directed to him. "I'll go first. One vote for me becoming a vampire."

Emmett was next. "I vote for Bella becoming one of us now. I don't know how much you'll actually be able to do up against Victoria, but I understand that you have the right to protect yourself."

"Of course I want you to be a part of our family, dearest Bella. I already consider you a daughter," Esme stated as it was her turn. She clutched Carlisle's hand, motioning for him to state his answer as well.

"While I don't agree that you should go up against Victoria, there is no doubt in my mind that you do belong with our family. My vote is for you to become one of us, but I'm not voting on when that will be." I nodded my head and smiled at him.

"Yes," Alice said simply. I could tell that she was trying to get a vision to see the outcome of my plan, but it looked like she was having no luck at the moment.

"Of course not," Edward said with a harsh tone. "It's ridiculous for you to be so adamant about fighting a deranged vampire when any of us can do that. Victoria may not be as strong as James, but she is incredibly intelligent. That in itself is too much danger for you."

I stuck my tongue out at Edward as he finished and then turned to look at Rosalie. "I do want you as a sister, Bella, and I hope you understand that. But I have to vote no, because I don't think that you understand what you're truly giving up for this yet."

Jasper was last. I knew that the votes were already in my favor, but it was important to me to know what his answer was. I could see him thinking it over in his head. He looked in my eyes before answering. "No."

I don't know if I gasped out loud or if it was just the feeling of my heart dropping to my stomach. He didn't elaborate on his answer, and I was too dumbfounded to question him. The others must've noticed my shock and hurt, because they all immediately tried to jump in to save me from embarrassment.

"Well, dear, it looks like we've come to a decision. There are obviously things that need to be ironed out, so why don't you and Carlisle discuss this further in his study?" Esme suggested. "I'm sure that you have some more personal questions."

I slowly stood without acknowledging Jasper. He tried to keep a hold of my wrist, but I jerked it away from him. Carlisle came to stand next to me and put his arm around my shoulder, guiding me wordlessly up to his study.

"I'll get you a glass of water, Bella," Esme said, excusing herself to go into the kitchen.

I sat in one of the empty desk chairs across from Carlisle, the large desk the only thing separating us. Esme joined us in a moment, handing me a glass of water to calm my nerves. I took a few slow drinks from it before looking at Carlisle and nodding to him that it was okay for him to speak.

"Bella, are you sure that this is the route you would like to go?" he asked.

I nodded again, still unable to find my voice. Esme patted my leg gently, reassuring me that she would stand behind me in whatever decision I made. I smiled softly at her before turning back to Carlisle.

"It's your decision, Bella. I am able to turn you, but I don't want you to regret anything. There's the matter of when and who to deal with. But there's also the matter of your father. You'll have no control over your thirst, and it would be dangerous for him to be near you for at least your first year as a newborn vampire," he explained.

"To be honest Carlisle, I haven't work out all of the details yet. I just know that this is what I need to do. This is what I want." I shrugged my shoulders and slumped in my chair, unable to control the tears that had been threatening to spill since Jasper's vote. "I just don't understand why he doesn't want it, too," I whispered.

Before Esme could reach over and take me in her arms, the door opened and a different pair of cold, hard arms was around me.


	28. Compromise

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Compromise

My tears didn't halt when Jasper pulled me into his arms. I clutched to him, burying my head in his shoulder as he carried me up the stairs to our bedroom. He sat us both on the bed and held me while I calmed down with his help. Once I had control over my breathing again, Jasper pulled back and looked in my eyes.

"Bella, I think we need to talk about this, because you misunderstood what I meant when I voted." When I nodded slightly, Jasper continued. "You know that I am in love with you, sweetheart. And in case I haven't made it perfectly clear, I do intend on spending an eternity with you. I don't want this decision to be rushed, though. It is not something to be taken lightly or to be acted upon because you want to look after us."

"That's not the only reason behind my actions, Jazz," I whispered. "I want to be able to start our life together as soon as possible. And I do want to take care of myself and not put you in jeopardy. Hearing Alice's vision, knowing that Victoria is able to get to you is the scariest thing that I have ever heard. It's worse than when I was alone with James. I can survive physical pain, Jasper. I've proved that by being a klutz my entire life. I cannot handle losing the person I love most in the world, though."

"I'm not scared about Victoria hurting me," Jasper rationalized.

"But I am! I know that you're strong and clever, Jasper, but there's never a guarantee when it comes to your safety. I am not willing to gamble with that," I told him. I moved so that I was now sitting in his lap, my legs draped over his and our chests pressed together. "She wants to get to me, baby. And if she's watching me now, then she knows you're the key to that. I couldn't continue living in this world if you were to get hurt because of me."

"Please don't say things like that," he begged me. He moved his hands to clutch onto my hips. "The world wouldn't make sense without you in it."

"Then let's not think about that right now. Let's just think about the best way for me to graduate from high school and separate from my dad without anyone getting suspicious." I was done arguing with him on the specifics of when and where and who concerning me turning into a vampire and joining the Cullens.

"Bella, baby, you won't be able to say good-bye to your father or graduate from Forks with your friends if you turn right now," Jasper explained to me, moving a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "The thirst that you will feel as a newborn will be so intense that you will want to attack anyone within reach of you. You could hurt or kill Charlie before you even know what you're doing."

"But you'll all help me. And I think that it will be to my benefit that I'm making this decision instead of having the lifestyle thrust upon me." I placed my hands on either side of his face, framing the hard features. "I know that I can do this, Jasper."

He leaned forward and kissed me. I responded by opening my mouth for him, pulling him deeper into the kiss. When my need for oxygen reared its ugly head, we reluctantly broke apart from one another. "I have no doubt that you will be an extraordinary vampire with amazing self control, but I am worried that you are taking this too lightly."

"Explain that," I demanded.

"You can never see your family again. You won't ever be able to have children or grandchildren. You will live to watch all of your friends and family members around you die," Jasper stated before pausing for a moment. "The realities are harsh but true, my dear."

"Do you think I have never considered this?" Jasper didn't response so I continued. "I know that I won't be able to have children, but you'll numb the pain. I know that my family and friends won't last forever, but I'll have my own built-in family. And it will hurt to be separated from my parents; however, it would hurt even more if I prolonged the inevitable."

"We still need to plan this out, baby," he said, his tone taking on a serious edge to it. "We need to decide who will be the one to turn you, when we're going to do it, what cover story we'll give to Charlie, and we need to make sure that Victoria won't be ready to attack during this time."

"We'll tell my dad that Alice and I are going on an out of town shopping trip over the weekend. We have a four day weekend from school coming up on Friday, so it would be the best time. Alice can search her visions to see if we can find out any new information on what Victoria's planning and when she's going to make her move." I paused for a moment and leaned forward against Jasper. I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed my way up his jaw line to his ear. "I want you to be the one to turn me, Jasper. Carlisle can be there in case you need help."

Jasper tensed slightly and pulled his head back to look down at me. "Bella, I am worried that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from taking too much blood. Your scent is still very potent to me, even though I've been able to handle our new closeness with some ease as of lately. Actually drinking your blood would be a whole other story, though."

"Emmett could stand by as well in case you needed to have someone physically pull you away," I suggested. "It would mean a lot to me, Jasper, if you were the one to turn me. I wouldn't want to share that connection with anyone else."

"I'll talk to Carlisle about it and figure something out. I'll do anything to make you happy, darling," Jasper whispered against my neck before dropping a soft kiss there. I squirmed against him, the atmosphere in our room changing with just one simple kiss.

"You make me happy without trying, Jazz," I answered back before planting a full-on kiss on his unsuspecting mouth. In just one second, our hands and mouths were exploring each other. I wondered if it was true what people said about make-up sex. I was anxious to find out with Jasper.

Before we could divest each other of any clothing, the door to our bedroom was opened and Carlisle stood in the doorway. Our heads turned to see who had interrupted us, and I swear Carlisle would have been blushing if he was able to. "I'm sorry to bother you, but Esme and I were wondering what was decided."

"Of course," Jasper said. I untangled myself from his lap and stood from the bed. Jasper stood beside me and his arm unconsciously wrapped itself around my waist. It still amazed me how our bodies naturally sought out physical contact if we were in the same room with each other, not that I was complaining.

"Bella has decided that now is the time for her to be changed. She has a four-day weekend coming up from school, so it would grant enough time for the process. We'll tell Charlie that she and Alice are going out of town on an extended shopping trip," he explained.

"That's a good idea," Carlisle praised us. "I don't have to go into the hospital on Friday, so I'll do a quick hunt in the morning and then come home."

"Actually, Carlisle, I was thinking that I would like Jasper to be the one," I said. Jasper tensed next to me, and I turned to curl against the side of his body and held his hand.

Carlisle seemed surprised for a moment but nodded. It was easy to understand that something so intimate should be shared among mates. "Of course, Bella. Jasper, is this okay with you?"

"I want nothing more than to make her happy for the rest of eternity," was his simple answer. "I would like to speak with you first, though. And I would want Emmett to be there just in case I couldn't stop myself."

"Yes, that's good. You two have thought of everything then," Carlisle said, proud that we were able to see past our different views and make the decision together. I truly was his equal.

"There is still the matter of Victoria, though," Esme's voice joined our conversation as she walked up behind Carlisle. "What are we going to do about her?"

"We can have Alice be on the look-out for any news that will help us. The pack will continue to track her for us if we ask. They don't want her in Forks, especially after what happened the last time she visited," I explained.

"That leads me to another question." Carlisle's voice was hesitant, as if he didn't want to break some bad news to me. "We still have the treaty with the wolves. Once we turn you, the treaty will be broken. We would have to leave Forks."

I stilled at the thought. I was really anticipating having enough control as a newborn to be able to finish school here and to have some time to say good-bye to my father. I hadn't thought about the treaty once yet.

"I'll need to speak with them," I decided. "I'll make them see my point of view and ask for this one exception."

"It's too dangerous for you to be around new wolves, Bella," Jasper started to argue.

"You mean the same wolves that are protecting my father right now," I countered. Jasper smirked down at me and didn't further that argument. I reached into the pocket of my jeans and dialed Jacob Black's phone number for the second time that day. "Jake, I need you to meet Jasper and me at the territory border right away. Nothing is wrong, but I need your help again."

I disconnected from the phone, not waiting for his response. I knew that he would meet us there. Jacob would do anything I asked of him; I just hoped that he would be as supportive of me once he knew that I had decided to be turned into one of his enemies.

Jasper- having sensed my uneasiness- rested his hand on the small of my back and sent me calming waves to ease my tension. "It won't do you any good to worry yourself, dear," he whispered to me as he kissed my cheek. I smiled up at him before we both took a step forward to leave the comfort of our room.

Carlisle and Esme started explaining our plan to the others as we walked outside and got into Jasper's car. I was going to be happy when this day was over. The drive to the reservation didn't take very long, but it felt like it took ages to arrive. Jacob was standing at the border, waiting for us.


	29. Seeking Permission

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: Just to let everyone know, Edward does still care deeply about Bella. I haven't written him in a lot yet, because I wanted to pay more attention to Jasper and Bella and their connection/love with each other. Edward will come back into play later.

A/N 2: As far as the loving nicknames I give the characters for each other, I think it's pretty natural for all couples to call each other by those. It's kind of inevitable.

A/N 3: Sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter out. I've had some writer's block issues as well as been really busy this past week. (I went to see New Kids on the Block in concert; it was amazing!)

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Seeking Permission

I stood next to Jasper, my hand clutching his tightly as we walked toward Jacob to meet at the border of the treaty line. Jake was standing tall, leaning slightly against a tree. I had half expected him to bring some of his new pack members to meet us, but I was glad that he didn't. This was going to be hard enough to explain to Jacob who I had known since I was a child. I couldn't imagine trying to plead my case to a small group of strangers who were born to hate what I wanted to become.

"Hey, Bella," Jacob greeted. His voice did not hold the warmth that was usually directed toward me. He was unsure of himself, probably second guessing his decision to come alone.

"Hi, Jake," I replied. Jasper and Jacob shared a polite nod to each other. I didn't wait for them to exchange pleasantries, because I knew it would not happen today. "I need to discuss something with you."

Jacob tensed but nodded. He knew where this conversation was going. If he hadn't suspected it when I was with Edward, he would surely understand by the way I was clutching onto Jasper like a lifeline. I noticed the irony as well.

"You know that Victoria is in town, and she is hell bent on destroying my life. She's either going to hurt Charlie or come after me directly in order to seek vengeance for James' death." I waited for Jacob to nod, signaling he was still listening to me. "Well, there is no way I will let her hurt Charlie. As for myself, I am tired of not being able to take care of myself, and I have made a decision that will help me in this area.

"I need you to discuss the treaty guidelines with you pack, because after this weekend it will have been broken. I'm going to have Jasper turn me into a vampire. I'm going to become part of the Cullen family eventually anyway, and I don't see the reason to postpone it any further. I want to be able to dispose of Victoria myself."

"I thought the only reason you would want to do that was to be with Edward. Now that he left you, what other reason could you have?" His tone was accusatory and he was no longer leaning against the tree. He had leaned forward while I was speaking and was glaring at Jasper who was seemingly unphased.

"Jacob, this wasn't his decision," I stated for the younger boy so that he would back off my boyfriend. "I've been thinking about this for almost a year now. True, my situation has changed since then but my decision will not. I need your pack to grant us a free pass on this one occasion."

Jacob started to shake his head, but I interrupted him. "I'm the one who's asking to be bitten. And it's not just to be food, but to become part of their family. The treaty says that the Cullens aren't allowed to bite anyone, but it doesn't specify for if that person is giving them permission."

No one said anything for a minute. Jacob was trying to collect his thoughts, so Jasper and I were granting him this time. This was the first time that I noticed Jasper was being annoyingly quiet during our conversation. I looked at him out of the side of my eye, but he was standing still and staring straight ahead and Jacob. His facial expression was one of pity that I didn't understand, but there was no time to discuss it right now. Eventually, Jacob looked back up at me from the forest floor.

"Bella, are you sure this is what you want? To be a leech for the rest of eternity? To never be able to grow up and get married and have kids?" Jacob was pacing now, frustrated with what I had just told him. I knew that he had a crush on me, but I never expected him to react so openly.

"Jacob, I am positive that I want to become a vampire. And I will get married to Jasper one day. I'm not ready for kids, and I'll deal with that as it comes along. Now will you please discuss this with your pack?" I wasn't above begging at this moment. I knew what I needed in order for my plan to work. "This is what I need, Jake."

He remained stoic. I don't know if he was still processing or if he was trying to find a way to kidnap me from the Cullens. Either way, I wasn't waiting around for a decision.

"Fine. Whatever. I'll have Jasper turn me, and then we'll leave Forks forever. I guess our friendship wasn't as strong as I thought it was." I turned away from Jacob and took a few steps toward Jasper's car, pulling him along with me.

"Bella," Jacob's voice whispered. It was strangled and full of raw emotion. I turned back to see him clutching the tree for support now. It was dusk, and I could see a teardrop shining on his cheek. Without hesitation, I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I didn't mean to be so harsh, but I know that this will work. I don't want to postpone the inevitable, you know," I explained to the taller boy while he crushed me with his arms.

"Bella, I don't know how we can still be friends if you were to turn into the one creature that I have to hate, that I have to kill." Jacob's voice was full of fear. It reminded me that he was young and inexperienced. Although he looked like he was twenty years old, Jacob was only sixteen and hadn't seen a lot of the world yet.

"I know that you don't want anything to change, Jake, but it has to. I need to be able to protect myself, and I also need to be with Jasper. I love him," I admitted. Jacob looked up at me, turning his head from where it was resting against my shoulder.

"I know, Bella, but I just don't think I'm ready for it. So much is happening, and I'm just trying to go with it all. I need you." I had never seen Jacob so vulnerable before. He always had a smile on his face, but he looked heart-broken at the moment.

"You'll always have me, Jake. I would never turn my back on our friendship, no matter what I am." Jacob's arms tightened around my waist slightly as he breathed in my scent as if to memorize it.

"I'll do what I can, but I don't know if they'll buy into it, Bells. The pack isn't exactly crazy about your budding relationship with the Addams Family." It amazed me that even during such an emotional moment, he could still be a complete smartass.

"They don't know the Cullen family like I do, and neither do you." I untangled myself from Jacob and walked back to Jasper who immediately draped his arm over my shoulder to tuck my body against his.

"I appreciate that you're trying to help Bella, Jacob. Thank you," Jasper said to the younger boy. He had been supportive of me and stayed back while I took some time with Jacob. He truly was the perfect boyfriend.

Jacob only nodded to Jasper. "I'll call you later tonight, Bells, to let you know what the pack says." The words were barely past his lips as he turned and ran off towards the reservation.

Jasper and I stood in silence with each other for a few moments until we heard howling coming from a distance. It was only a matter of time until we would know if the pack was going to back us up or chase us off.

"Are you positive that I am worth all this trouble?" I asked, resting my chin on Jasper's chest and looking up at his face.

"Positive, darlin'. You are worth so much more than you know," he whispered in my ear before dipping lower to place a kiss on my neck. He worked his way back up to my ear before adding, "Charlie will be home soon, and I don't want him to be angry with me for keeping you out late."

"Jasper, I don't want to be alone tonight," I whispered as we started walking toward his car.

"I never intended you to be." Jasper held open the car door so I could climb in. As soon as he was seated next to me, I reached over and grabbed his hand in my own.

We drove the distance to my house in silence as I thought about everything that had happened these past few weeks and everything that was to come. I was ready to become a vampire, to join Jasper and my family for eternity. I would concentrate on adjusting to our lifestyle quickly, so that I wouldn't have to leave school and my parents behind. There was no other way. I wasn't ready to say good-bye to my parents, so I would use that as the motivation to fight my thirst for blood.

We pulled up to my house, and Jasper leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. I threw my arms around his shoulders and clutched onto him.

"Bella, darling, I'll meet you in your room in a few minutes. I won't leave your side after that," he told me.

I walked into the house and saw Charlie sitting on the couch in the living room, watching the nightly highlights from whatever game was on today. He had his trusty can of Vitamin R at his side. I walked into the room and sat beside him.

"Hey, Bells, what did you do today?" he asked, turning the volume down on the television and turning to look at me.

What was I supposed to say? The truth?! I could just imagine Charlie's reaction to my explanation that my boyfriend and I had spent four hours in my bed performing sexual acts on each other then we decided to go visit my werewolf friend and ask his permission for me to become a vampire.

"Not too much, dad," I said. I shrugged my shoulders for dramatic effect. "Alice and I watched a few movies while the boys played video games. It wasn't very eventful."


	30. Understanding

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: Okay, this chapter is from Jasper's POV. There won't be many of these since I prefer to write from BPOV, but I wanted Jasper and Jacob to have a conversation about Bella, and I couldn't really do that form her POV.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty: Understanding

I looked down at the girl in my arms and couldn't help but smile. I had noticed that since her and I had gotten together, I had been doing that a lot more often. Smiling. Being with Bella made me feel human again; it made me feel like I had somewhere in this world where I belonged. And now she was going to become a vampire, and I hoped that I wouldn't lose that feeling.

A part of me was hoping that Jacob's pack would turn down our request for a free pass on Bella's humanity. I knew that I wanted to be with her forever, but I didn't have the right to subject to her to this lifestyle even if she did understand what she was walking into. While she liked to act tough and pretend that she knew what was going to happen, she had no clue.

Carlisle and I had briefly spoken about it while Bella had been asleep at our house. It was important that she make her own decisions, because I would never try to force my own thoughts and opinions onto her. We would let her decide what she wanted to do, and we would stay and support her in case the inevitable happened and it blew up in her face. I prayed that her dream world would occur, though.

I didn't want to have to take her away from her father. I wanted her to feel strong and be able to protect herself, but I also feared that in her attempt to prove herself strong she would lose the battle against Victoria. Then I would have no reason to exist. I wouldn't belong in either world if I were without her.

I would deal with that when it came, though. She was my equal; she would not be told what to do. I heard her sigh in her sleep and my arms automatically tightened, pulling her closer to me. Her warmth still caught me by surprise and I reveled in it. It had been decades seen I had felt warm, since I felt anyone's touch beside that of my immediate family.

I was broken out of my thoughts when I heard a twig snapping from the woods behind her house. My body tensed up and I smelled the air to see who was outside. The stench was repulsive, so I knew that it was Jacob Black. Apparently he had decided to come by instead of calling like he had told Bella. It would be better this way, I suppose. I could run interference with whatever their decision was and explain it to my love.

I slowly untangled myself from Bella and stood from her bed. I looked down at her as she clutched the blanket closer to herself, trying to find my body in the bed. She made a little grunt when her arms wrapped around the air instead of me. "Jasper," she whispered.

I leaned over her and whispered into her ear. "I'm here, Bella. I'm not going to be far, and I'll be back as quickly as I can. I love you."

Her body relaxed a little as she snuggled back down into her blankets. "I love you," she mumbled from her unconscious state. Even as a mumble, those three syllables were the most beautiful words that could cross her lips.

I walked over to the window and jumped outside in one quick, soundless movement. I ran over to where Jacob was waiting in the woods. He was leaning against a tree, much as he had done earlier today when Bella and I had went to speak with him. He had a long scratch down his arm that hadn't been there earlier, though.

He noticed that my eyes lingered on the scratch, obviously curious as to how it had become to be.

"Lover's quarrel," he answered with a shrug. "Don't even think about drinking the blood from it, because I'll put up one hell of a fight."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "Please. Your blood is disgusting to me. Even if it weren't, I'm not an infant. I can control my thirst." I normally wasn't much of a talker, especially to those who detested my existence. He had been worried about my presence near Bella, so I would make sure that he knew I had power over myself.

"I spoke with the pack. Needless to say, they didn't go for the idea. They think that my relationship with Bella is clouding my judgment, especially Leah." I heard his small chuckle when he said her name and noticed how his feelings flickered to adoration. Maybe Jacob Black wasn't as in love with my girlfriend as we all thought he was. I would have to push this topic further.

"So we would need to leave," I stated.

"Not necessarily. That's why it took me so long to come back with the answer. When the group didn't agree, I decided to speak with some of them individually. My friends Quil and Embry weren't crazy about the idea, but they eventually saw things from my perspective and have agreed that we should let Bella make her own decisions. She would anyway." Another chuckle, this one filled with annoyance. I let him continue.

"Once they agreed with me, we were able to speak with Seth Clearwater, Leah's brother. He's the youngest and the most easy to sway. He's only met Bella a couple times when she visited me and my father, but he likes her and agreed that it was her decision. With the pack divided, we approached the subject again. Sam's old-fashioned and will never approve. Paul's just an asshole, Leah's jealous of Bella, but Jared was able to be subjective. We got the majority, so the pack won't make you leave if Bella becomes one of you."

I nodded. It was a relief to be able to give Bella some good news. As good as this could be, anyway. It was not set in stone yet, but it would not limit our options for fighting Victoria. "There are conditions," I stated, knowing that Jacob could have said this over the phone.

"Of course," he started. "Bella is the only loophole you get. No other humans are to be bitten or turned by any of you. I know that you think you can control her and she has limitless faith in herself, but if she… If she hurts anyone, the rest of the pack will attack. I won't be able to fight them off, and I don't know if I would want to. As important as she is to me, it's even more important that I protect the people in Forks."

He took his role as protector seriously, and I admired him for that. I could feel that he was still unsure of himself, even frightened in some ways. "Those are not difficult conditions to agree to," I answered, speaking for my family. "Bella is the only person stubborn enough to want this and she's the only person that we care this much about. No one else will be turned or bitten. I'll make sure that she doesn't hurt anyone, but if there were to be a slip, we would be gone before you could come after us. You're insane to think I would let you hunt her."

He relaxed a little against the tree. "I'm glad to hear you say that, because it would be my undoing if I had to come after her. It's bad enough that I'm already in the doghouse because of this."

"Leah," I stated. "I didn't know."

"I haven't told Bella yet; it's still new to me. All of this is new." His voice was tired and I could sense that he was struggling with accepting his new life.

"You'll adjust eventually," I assured him. "At least you have someone to go through it with. It's more unbearable alone."

"Look, I'm not stupid," Jacob said. "I see the similarities in our families, in what we are. I just can't view you and your family as more than an enemy. It's going to be hard enough to try and accept Bella once she's a bloodsucker. It will be impossible for me to ever respect or like the rest of you."

"I'm not asking you to, Jacob. I'm just asking that you try to remember the person Bella is. This is going to be harder for her than she's allowing herself to believe, and I don't want her to be even more hurt by losing her best friend."

"I can't promise you anything, but I'll try," he answered. "I need to get back to the others and let them know that we've spoken about this, but I do have a question for you." I nodded, signaling him to continue. "Is it really wise that you stay with her?"

I knew this was coming. "I won't lie to you; her blood is very tempting. But I love and need her too much to ever allow myself to hurt her. I take precautions before I'm near her, hunting more frequently. It's hard, but it's not worth the pain that I would cause by letting myself slip."

"You could hurt her without biting her as well." His voice had a jealous edge to it, but his emotions were more embarrassed and worried. I knew what he was getting at, and I knew that he was too scared to ask.

"That's none of your business, and I'm sure that Bella would not appreciate you asking about it," I stated through clenched teeth. I stood taller, daring the boy to continue this conversation. He was much denser than I thought.

"Bella knows that I have her best interest at heart. It's dangerous."

"I'm aware. I also have her best interest at heart. Her safety and happiness are my top priorities."

"Which one gets put ahead of the other, though?" Jacob asked.

"Could you deny her anything? I can't. I won't," I paused, looking for the words to make him understand. "Bella wants to have a normal relationship. She's been through a lot in the past year, more than most people will go through in their entire life. Now that I'm with her, now that we have each other, I'm going to make damn sure that she doesn't have to go through that kind of shit again. So if I have to try harder in order to make her happy, then I'm going to do just that."

"I just hope you can try hard enough," he replied without missing a beat.

"I will," I vowed more to myself than the annoying boy in front of me. "If we're done now, I would like to get back to my girlfriend." A distant howl came from the direction of the reservation and I noticed that Jacob winced slightly before his emotions became erratic. I laughed out loud. "Sounds like you should be getting back to yours as well."

The taller boy snarled at me before running into the forest and away from Bella's home. I turned to look up at her bedroom window. I could hear her melodic breathing, a sign that she was still dreaming. From the feelings I was getting from her, it was a peaceful dream. No nightmares tonight.

I ran toward the house and jumped through the window in one bound. She was curled up on her side, clutching the blanket where I normally lay beside her. I stared at her, trying to convince myself that I deserved this amazing girl before me. I understood now. I understand why Edward had always been such a pain in the ass last year about her.

It was almost physically impossible to be near her and not touch her, not be with her. It was worse knowing that there was a psychotic vampire on the loose, wanting to kill her for part of some ridiculous revenge plot that came from her simple, sadistic mind. I hadn't gotten it when he asked us all to leave her, to abandon a member of our family. I knew now.


	31. Sisterly Bonding

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: Back to Bella's POV.

A/N 2: I'm telling Rosalie's story during this chapter, but I'm not going to go as in depth as I did for Jasper's story. I'm just doing some summarizing and paraphrasing from Eclipse.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty-One: Sisterly Bonding

I was sitting on the large sofa with my legs curled underneath me. I was staring at the television, but I had no clue what was on. I was just trying to concentrate on the fact that Jasper would be walking through the front door soon. I was relying on him too much, but I couldn't stop myself. In less than a week, I would be a vampire and fighting against another vampire who wanted to torture and kill me. I needed Jasper near me, calming me with his presence and his gift. It was the only thing that would stop me from bursting at the seams.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice I was being approached by both sides. I should have sensed the danger, but before I knew it Rosalie and Alice had me surrounded for the second time this week. I hoped that I would get better senses when I turned into a vampire.

"What?" My voice was full of dread and I slumped back into the sofa cushions.

"Would you please chill with the attitude, missy?" Alice teased as she curled up next to me and rested her head on my shoulder. "We just wanted to keep you company until Jasper returns from hunting with Emmett and Edward."

"You never just want to keep me company, Alice. You either want to have an exhausting conversation or a completely unnecessary makeover," I explained.

"It's the first one," Rosalie warned me, curling up on my left side in the same position as Alice was on my right.

"I really don't want to have another discussion about my humanity, if you don't mind. I think Edward and I have talked that out enough throughout the last year," I explained my position. I know that they had all experienced more than me, but I had made my decision and I was tired of defending it.

"Bella, it's not what you think," Alice defended. "We're not going to try to dissuade you from becoming a vampire; I've known from the beginning that you would become part of our family and I'm thrilled."

"We're both thrilled to have you as a sister, Bella," Rosalie interjected. "But I think that it's important you know everyone's history before you become one of us. I know that we've never been close, and I'm to blame for that. I was uncomfortable with another girl joining our family and thought you would take my place. It was silly to think that, but you know better than anyone that a person can't control their feelings."

I cringed, thinking of all that had transpired these last two weeks. I basically stole my best friend's boyfriend who happened to be my ex-boyfriend's surrogate brother. I really was an awful person. I was probably already going to hell, so it didn't really matter if I became a vampire.

Alice and Rosalie each took one of my hands and clutched them in their own. They couldn't read my mind or sense what I was feeling, but they knew me well enough to see my self-loathing.

"No more of those thoughts, little sister," Alice whispered.

"Now some parts of my story are pretty graphic and scary, Bella. I know that Edward told you that what happened to me was similar to what almost happened to you in Port Angeles; however, he left out a lot. I was eighteen years old in the year nineteen thirty-three. I truly had the world on a string; I was young, beautiful, rich and completely ecstatic to be me."

I almost chuckled at the brief description of herself that Rosalie had explained, but I held it in. I knew that it was inappropriate, though. Rosalie was opening up to me, and I had wanted this for the past year.

"I had a best friend named Vera," Rosalie continued, "who was happily married with a beautiful baby boy. I realized that I wanted the same thing. I was thrilled when Royce King- the son of the royal family in Rochester- began wooing me. It wasn't long before we were engaged, and I thought that all my dreams were coming true and that I would have the perfect life."

She stopped for a moment, remembering her past life. I could tell that the story was about to get grim and squeezed Rosalie's hand back in response. She moved her gaze to mine and smiled slightly.

"I was walking home from visiting with Vera and her darling little Henry with those adorable dimples of his. It was late and cold and I came upon Royce and a group of his friends. They were drunk, and it was too late before I realized their intentions toward me. The cruel bastards enjoyed my pain and left me for dead in the middle of the road when Carlisle found me. He tried to save me, but I was too far gone. He turned me instead. When I woke, I found myself even more beautiful that I had been as a human and it pissed me off."

Rosalie's voice had turned distant and lower. She was gritting her teeth as she spoke the last sentence, obviously resentful. "I've never tasted human blood, but I did murder seven- Royce and his four friends who hurt me plus two armed guards who were trying to stop me from my fun. I was dramatic about, dressing in a wedding dress to scare him, listening to him scream. He deserved it."

There was a moment of silence while the three of us reflected on the story just told. I would have to thank Edward again for saving me in Port Angeles. I was lucky to have been dealt such an easy life up to this point.

"Rosalie, it's horrible what happened to you, but I don't see how that explains you not liking me and keeping yourself distant from me," I said, looking at her with questioning eyes.

"At first, I was jealous because Edward wanted you instead of me. Don't get me wrong; I love Emmett more than anything in the world. He is truly the perfect person for me. And I've only ever thought of Edward as a brother and friend, but I'm used to having everyone want me or want to be me. Then you came along, and that shattered. I love that you're not like everyone else, Bella. I admire it really, but I'm not one for change. And I'm certainly not one to willingly give up the spotlight."

We all chuckled at that, grateful that Rosalie was easing up the tension in the room. I was glad that she could still laugh and smile, even after everything that she had been put through.

"It's not just jealousy, though, dear," she continued again. "You are so lucky, Bella. You have everything. You have love and your life ahead of you. It's everything that I have ever wanted, and you're going to throw it away. I would give anything to be able to have a normal existence again, to be able to having a bouncy baby with dimples to die for. You have that opportunity, and you're wasting it. I know that it's your decision, and I respect that. I just don't want you to make the wrong one."

I knew that it was my turn to speak, but I was still reeling from her story and her honesty with me. I had a truly amazing family who only wanted the best for me, even when they couldn't agree with what I was doing.

"I'm glad you told me this, Rosalie. I understand better now. But I need you to understand it from my perspective as well," I explained. Alice squeezed my hand again to encourage me. "I have had a great life, and I know that. My parents are these amazing people who love me and only want what is best for me. When I came to Forks, I didn't really expect much to come of it. I figured I would stay for a few months so that my mom's life could be a little easier."

"When I met Edward, everything changed. I belonged somewhere, with someone. He was my first love, and it was even better because he had this amazing family that I fell in love with too. Being tracked by James last year opened my eyes to the truth. I don't belong in your family, because I can't hold my own. When you guys left, I thought it was because you had realized that as well. I thought that you didn't want me to belong because I was less than you."

I could see both girls stiffen out of the corner of my eyes. They were each about to voice their disagreement with my statement, so I quickly continued, wanting to get the rest of my explanation out before the arguments came. "Jasper helped me see that it wasn't the truth. He helped me through the pain, and I will be forever grateful to him for that. I don't know what I would be like now if he hadn't stayed with me. I love him more than I thought possible, and I want to be with him."

"I don't want to age and grow old if he can't. I don't want to hold him to an old woman that he will have to watch die. It's not fair. But I also don't want to continue putting you in danger, either. If I were a vampire last year, James would never have wanted to attack me. We wouldn't have had to run and hunt him. No one will get hurt this way, because there won't be any reason."

I paused, thinking about Jasper fighting Laurent in the woods earlier this week. I was thankful that Emmett and Rosalie had showed up, knowing that Jasper could have lost the battle without help. I would not have survived losing two loves in one week.

"I don't want to be the weak link. I want to be strong like the rest of you, able to protect myself. I want to live happily ever after with Jasper. You're right, Rosalie. It is my decision, and I don't know if I'm making the right or wrong one. No one can ever know that, but I do know that I am following my heart. That's all anyone should ever do."

We didn't exchange anymore words. It wasn't important. We just sat on the sofa, waiting expectantly for the rest of our family to come home. I was relieved when I heard the front door open a moment later, but my feelings changed when I saw Jasper and Emmett carrying Edward through the front door.


	32. Game Plan

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: Sorry it's taken me ages to update, everyone. I have been super busy. And I did want to let everyone know that I updated the last chapter, because I had a lot of people complaining because I said Edward was bleeding. It was a simple oversight, and everyone makes mistakes, people.

A/N 2: I did want to mention that I saw Cake Eaters during my hiatus, and it is an amazing film. Kristen Stewart does such a great job of acting in it. Everyone should go check it out!

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty-Two: Game Plan

I jumped off the couch and ran toward the boys who were now walking toward the back of the house to Carlisle's study.

"Edward! Oh my God, Jasper, what happened?" I asked, tears springing to my eyes. I had never seen Edward so vulnerable. He was weak, unable to walk on his own two feet. His eyes weren't as alert as normal, and I could see that there were some wounds healing themselves on his arms and chest where his shirt had been ripped.

Emmett and Jasper lay Edward on the sofa in the corner of the dark room and took a step back, giving him space. I didn't believe in space when someone I loved was hurting, so I ran to the sofa and dropped to my knees in front of him.

"We were in the woods, ready to come home," Jasper began explaining from behind me. I pushed the hair out of Edward's face and ran my hand gently over some gashes on his arms that were already starting to close. "We were getting ready to jump the creak on the edge of our land when we caught the scent of another vampire nearby. He wasn't on our land but fast approaching."

Emmett decided to interrupt Jasper's story-telling. "Edward here decided to be the hero as usual and took off in the direction of the scent before Jasper and I could follow him."

"We were lucky that we got there as quickly as we did, because Edward was losing the fight," Jasper stated, glaring at his younger brother who was starting to lean up against the arm of the couch. I moved to sit next to him, leaving my arm wrapped around his. I looked up at Edward's face and noticed the bite marks on his neck. They were almost transparent against his skin, but I was familiar enough with this kind of scarring to see them.

"Why did you run after him alone, Edward?!" Alice scolded from her place in the doorway next to Rosalie. I didn't even notice that they had followed us.

"I could smell Bella on the vampire," Edward said, looking in my eyes.

"What? I haven't been near any other vampires," I argued, turning to look up at Jasper with a questioning look on my face. He shrugged back at me.

"I realize that, Bella," Edward clarified. "He had something from your house, a blanket or an article of clothing. I'm not sure what exactly, but he was carrying it with him."

"Why would he want my clothes? I doubt I'm his size," I said, looking between the faces of everyone else in the room. My eyes stopped scanning once they reached Alice. Her eyes were looking far off and she was more still than normal. She was having a vision.

"Alice?!" Emmett's voice cut through our silence. "What is it, Alice? What are you seeing?!" he demanded.

Alice was silent for another moment before turning to Jasper. "He was a newborn, wasn't he?" When Jasper nodded, she continued. "Victoria's plan has changed. She's not only coming after Bella now. She wants to take down all of us, and she's recruiting help."

"She's making newborn vampires?" Rosalie questioned.

"I thought that was outlawed and that only a small portion of the south still believed in that," I offered. I stood and walked to Jasper, wrapping my arms around his waist and sighing with content when his arms found their way around my shoulders.

"She has traveled a lot, so she may have made some friends in the south and gotten the idea from them," he suggested. "No matter how she found out, we're going to have to step up our game now. This is much more serious that I had originally thought."

"If she has a big enough group, there's no way we can turn Bella this weekend," Edward said from his spot on the couch. Here we go again with his protesting my immortality. "We'll have to be on our game and not worrying about whether or not she'll get hurt or go after a human. It's too much of a liability."

"But if there's a large group, won't you need my help more than before?!" I looked at Emmett who only offered a small shrug. I could see by the gleam in his eyes that he was itching for a battle.

"It's true, sweetheart. We would all be much too distracted with worry about you to keep an eye on our own backs. We should wait until this is all settled. And I don't mind taking more than my fair share," he reasoned. "Alice, did you see how many there were?"

"I count about ten, but I don't think they were all there. Everything is fuzzy; I've never had a vision like this before. It's almost like something is blocking me." Alice looked uncomfortable and twitchy. It was the first time she had not been her normal, bubbly self around me. I have to admit that it was very nerve-wracking. If Alice was nervous, we were pretty much screwed.

"What do we need to do?" Rosalie asked, getting into business mode. She moved without effort to stand beside Emmett and clasped his hand in her own.

"There are seven of us, so the odds are almost matched. Hopefully some of the newborns will pick each other off before it comes down to a fight. I'll have to teach you all how to go in for the kill with them," Jasper stated. His arms had fallen from around me and he was standing tall. He was in a military stance, understanding the urgency of this situation.

"Edward's right, Bella. We aren't going to be able to turn you yet. There's not enough time to teach everyone how to kill the newborns and to train you in fighting as well. With the newborns factored into the equation, it's too dangerous for you. All of us would be too occupied with trying to protect you that it could lead to a fatal mistake."

Jasper's voice was soft and stern. I could tell that he was regretful, not wanting to hurt my feelings. He wanted to keep us all safe, and he was going to hold himself personally responsible. I reached my hand over to his and clutched onto it.

"Are we sure we want to go up against them alone if it's going to be uneven?" Rosalie asked.

"We could ask the Denali clan, but I don't think they're going to be too happy with us since we killed Laurent. Even if he was going to hurt Bella," Jasper said. "I'll tell Carlisle to call them and check. Alice, I don't want to put any extra pressure on you, but I need you to try and look past the fuzziness or at least figure out why it's happening right now," he commanded.

Alice nodded her head and walked out of the room. Rosalie and Emmett looked at Jasper expectantly, understanding that he was issuing orders right now.

"You two need to go find Carlisle and Esme to fill them in on what's going on. Make sure Carlisle speaks with the Denali clan, Tanya preferably. She would do anything if she thought her precious Edward was in trouble," Jasper teased. We all chuckled, grateful that he had added some humor into this conversation.

Rosalie and Emmett left the room, and I heard the front door slamming a second later. Edward and Jasper were looking at each other, and I knew that Jasper was speaking to Edward through his thoughts. Edward would nod or raise his eyebrows every few seconds to show he was understanding him. I was getting more frustrated by the second, and I knew that Jasper could tell when he squeezed my hand in his own.

"It's not important, darling," he whispered to me. "We were just discussing safety matters."

"I know you're talking about who's going to be babysitting me, Jazz," I insisted. "And I know that you are worried enough as it is, so I want you to know that I will do as I'm told." I almost laughed when I saw their faces turn to those of shock. I was never known to easily comply.

"Why?" Edward asked, speculatively.

"Because it's more important that everyone is safe right now. I know that you would all be too worried about me to concentrate if you thought I was in harm's way." I turned to look only at Jasper and I grabbed both of his hands in my own. "I don't know what I would do with myself if anything happened to you, Jazzy."

He pulled me into his arms and rested his head in the crook of my neck, taking a long inhale. "Nothing's going to happen to any of us. I'm going to make sure of that."

I looked up into his eyes and leaned up for a kiss, but we were interrupted by Edward groaning from his spot on the couch. We both turned to look at him with a frustrated expression.

"We need to get to work," he stated, covering up his annoyance with us.

"So why don't you go to work while we stay here alone?" I responded with a smirk on my face. He deserved it. I chuckled as he growled under his breath and rushed out the door.


	33. Becoming Clear

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: Thank you to everyone for the great reviews! I am still trying to decide between Jasper and Bella having a baby or not. I think you will all know the same time that I do. And I'm also very glad that so many of you are supportive in the physical relationship that I write between the two characters, because I know that those scenes would offend some. I just think it's important to be realistic, and I know that if he were my boyfriend there would be no way I would keep my hands to myself.

A/N 2: AriesFireQN, your last question about the wolves was spot on. Just give me time to write it in the way I want it.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty-Three: Becoming Clear

We were lying in our bed, just enjoying being close to each other. The curtain of our room was open, and the sunlight was causing Jasper's skin to sparkle. It was truly breath-taking. I would never get used to how beautiful he was. He was even sexier as he was right now, completely relaxed. He was only wearing a pair of jeans as he lay against the headboard, reading a book.

"You're emitting some pretty strong feelings there, darling."

I blushed, knowing what he meant by his statement. Even though Jasper and I had been spending a lot of time in the bedroom, I was still shy about the things we did. It was all so new to me. I curled into his side and rested my head on his bare chest.

"You emit the same feelings for me too, mister," I countered.

"I am fully aware," he answered back, placing his book on the nightstand by his side of the bed. Before I could blink, Jasper had me pinned to the bed and was hovering above me. "Wanna stir up some more of those feelings?" His voice was husky, and his cold breath touched my skin.

I couldn't bite back the groan that came from my throat as Jasper's hands grabbed the bottom of the band t-shirt of his that I was wearing to sleep in. He tugged it upward, exposing my thighs. As he began moving his body down mine, I heard a loud bang of our bedroom door being thrown open. Emmett's loud laughter followed it.

"Alright, you two, take a breather!" he commanded us.

Jasper quickly covered me with a blanket and crouched protectively over me. He snarled at Emmett who only laughed harder.

"Calm down, Jazzy. I didn't see any of Bella's naughty parts, I swear." Emmett held up his hands in an innocent gesture but remained standing in the doorway. "Alice thinks she knows why her visions have been blurry lately, and she wanted to tell us all at the same time. I was the only one who had enough guts to come in and interrupt you lovebirds."

Jasper was no longer snarling at his brother, but he also wasn't moving from his crouching stance. I sat up- careful to keep the blanket wrapped around me- and placed my hand on Jasper's shoulder. He turned to look at me and immediately relaxed his stance.

"We'll be down in a few minutes, Emmett," I said to my big brother without breaking eye contact from my boyfriend. "Please close the door when you leave."

Another chuckle before Emmett closed the door behind him and I heard his footsteps descend the stairs and walk into the living room. I could hear his voice but couldn't make out what he was saying right before I heard another round of soft chuckles. The family was obviously laughing at mine and Jasper's expense. Oh well, I would pay them back once I was a vampire.

I leaned toward Jasper and planted a chaste kiss on his lips, silently promising him that we would continue later. I stood from the bed and walked over to the closet, digging through to find a pair of jeans. I could sense him behind me before I felt his hands on my waist, pulling me against him. I sighed with content as I leaned back, completely comfortable and completely absorbed in being this close to Jasper.

"You know that he's going to come back up here in a few minutes if we don't go down there," I warned Jasper as his lips started placing soft kisses on my neck and shoulder.

"I don't care. I don't care about anything else other than you. I just want to be able to take some time for us to be alone together," he whispered against my skin, causing a chill to run down my spine.

"That sounds wonderful, Jazzy, but I think we should at least hear what Alice has to say first. After school, we can take the entire night to be with each other, I promise." I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck. I couldn't hold back a tear as I stared into his eyes. "I'm so scared, Jasper. I'm so scared that one of you will get hurt or worse. I know that you're all very confident with yourselves, but there's a lot at stake here."

"I'll make sure everyone is safe, darling."

"You can't, Jasper! Because if you're busy keeping every one else safe, then there's no one making sure that you'll come back to me," I finished in a whisper and clung to him. We hadn't had this conversation yet, but I had known that it was coming. None of us were certain how this would end, but I knew that it wasn't going to turn out like a fairy tale. Life never did.

"I will always come back to you, Bella," he vowed. We stayed there for awhile, just holding onto each other. Jasper sent me calming waves to ease my tension. As soon as I was feeling better, I grabbed the closest pair of jeans and pulled them on. Jasper wiped the tears from my face before planting another innocent kiss on my lips and leading me downstairs.

I knew they were listening, although I couldn't tell if it was on purpose or not. Probably on purpose in Emmett and Esme's cases, because they were the nosiest of the family. Edward was sitting on the couch and staring at the ground with a frustrated expression. Alice was perched on the arm of the sofa next to him, giving me an encouraging smile. Carlisle was sitting across from them in one of the large chairs that matched, looking at Jasper the same way Alice was looking at me. Rosalie was next to Emmett on the other end of the couch, smacking him across the back of his head. Like I said, he was definitely listening on purpose.

Jasper and I didn't move to take a seat. We both wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible, having other things to discuss. I leaned against him, knowing that I would need support for this conversation. I would need his support for the next few days, but I also knew that he would need mine as well.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked, directing the question to Edward who only shrugged. When Jasper raised his eyebrow, Alice giggled.

"I've been translating Paramore song lyrics into Russian, so he couldn't read my thoughts," she said proudly. I had to chuckle along with her at that. I knew how frustrated Edward became when he couldn't see what was in a person's thoughts. Jasper nodded and waited for Alice to continue.

"I went hunting yesterday after we spoke to make sure that I was on top of my game. After I took down a few bucks, I started to try to concentrate to see if I could see more clearly. The number of newborns keeps fluctuating, Jasper. She's going to cities surrounding Port Charles which makes me think that's her next target. She doubled the newborns, but they keep picking each other off. It's up to fifteen now," Alice explained.

I looked around the room to gauge my family's reaction. Carlisle and Edward were blank slates. I admire them for the strength they each had for their family. Just like my Jasper. Emmett looked excited, of course. He was such a freak to be anxious to be attacked by a gang of newborn vampires. Rosalie looked determined, but I couldn't tell why. She was either trying to stay strong or trying to stay optimistic. Maybe both. Esme looked worried, and I imagine that my face masked hers.

"Victoria is still after Bella, but now she wants all of us dead as well. She knows that we helped kill Laurent, and even though they weren't that close, she sees it as a personal insult. Like I care if she's insulted. I don't know when she's planning on attacking yet, but I think I know why I can't see it all," Alice paused for dramatic effect. I loved my sister, but I knew that she could work a crowd like none other with her visions.

"So as I was getting some more visions, it started to get blurry again. Then I noticed a horrible smell coming from a few miles away from me. I tracked it and found a pack of werewolves. I'm assuming it was the Quileute tribe boys, but I didn't stay long enough to find out because I was grossly outnumbered. But then I figured out that my visions were blurry because I was near the wolves. I don't know what it is about them, but they make it harder for me to see."

"But you haven't been near the wolves every time you've had a vision recently," Emmett said, not understanding where Alice was going with this. I was glad he asked, because I honestly didn't know either.

"I think it's happening because they are a part of the vision. They're in the future, but I don't know how." Her eyes weren't focused on the room, but she wasn't having another vision.

It all made sense now. "They're going to help us," I whispered.


	34. Back to Reality

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty-Four: Back to Reality

The day was going by so slowly. I was currently sitting in my Spanish class. We had just taken a test, and I was of course the first person done. I was staring out the window, listening closely to the ticking of the clock that hung above my teacher's desk. I only had one class left after this and then I could see Jasper again. He was picking me up from school and we were going to spend the evening alone.

After our family had spoken this morning, we had agreed that Rosalie would keep an eye on Charlie today to make sure that Victoria and her newborns didn't try to hurt him. Edward and Alice had rejoined Forks High School, so they were able to keep a lookout on me during the day. Jasper would watch me during the nights and hunt during the daytime.

Alice and I had snuck off school grounds at lunch so that I could call Jacob and explain Victoria's plan to him further. I had told him that we were postponing my change, and he was thrilled. I think he wanted to try and talk me out of it, but he couldn't understand how that was impossible. I asked him if the pack would help us instead of granting us a free pass on the treaty. He had been more than willing to agree, even after he'd learned how many vampires were after us.

Damn werewolves, always looking for trouble. He and I hadn't had the conversation yet, where we discussed how his being a werewolf and me being turned into a vampire would affect our friendship. I had had enough serious conversations recently, so I was fine with putting this one off for as long as possible. In the end, it wouldn't change anything if we would have the conversation now or wait until after we'd killed Victoria and her gang.

Lost in thoughts, I vaguely heard the bell ring that signaled it was time for our last class of the day. I gathered my backpack and walked amidst my classmates out of the room and was not surprised to find Alice and Edward already waiting for me. We all had trigonometry, and I hoped this would make the final hour go by quickly. Although I loved Edward as a brother, I was becoming frustrated with having him in so many of my classes. People kept staring at us, expecting a reunion or a fight. Couldn't they get their own lives? I had enough to worry about right now.

Obviously sensing my angst and discomfort, Alice reached over and grabbed my hand in her own. I looked at her from the corner of my eye and smiled. I truly did have an amazing family for a support system. We made it to our classroom and took a table at the back of the room. I wouldn't feel everyone's eyes on us this way. I was a good girl and copied the notes from the board, but I wasn't paying attention. I had already taken trigonometry in Phoenix, so this was more of a filler class than anything else.

An hour later, the final bell rang and I bolted from my seat with my bag clutched in my hand. Without waiting for Edward and Alice- because I knew they would have no problem keeping up with me- I ran through the crowded hallway. I only tripped once and was able to stop myself from falling to the ground. As soon as I pushed through the school doors, I saw Jasper leaning against his car waiting patiently for me.

I was in his arms in less than a minute, and I don't really remember who was responsible for that. I was so absorbed in our hello kiss that I didn't even notice Edward and Alice had come to stand near us and that there was a small crowd of students looking on, anticipating a scene. When Jasper finally broke away from the kiss, I took in my surroundings and couldn't control the blush from rising to my face. Without words, my wonderful vampire boyfriend led me to his car with no words and we sped out of the parking lot.

The plan was to go home and finish the small amount of homework that I had and then Jasper and I were going out. Or we were staying in. I didn't know what the exact plan was, because he wasn't telling me. We were also going to be meeting the pack with the rest of our family late tonight to go over fighting strategies for Victoria and her group of trouble-makers who were now starting to make the news. I had noticed this morning that there was a rising death toll in the suburbs near Port Angeles. Of course I felt guilty for it as well, because I was the one she was initially coming after.

"Stop, Bella. None of this is your fault," Jasper said as we pulled into my driveway. My empathetic boyfriend was always trying to make sure that I only felt good things about myself. Silly vampire. Doesn't he understand the inner workings of a teenage girl?

I said nothing as I got out of the car and slammed the door shut. I was walking up the front steps of the porch when he stopped me and pulled me into his arms. It was all it took for me to let the tears that I had been holding back finally break free from my eyes. I was feeling so many things and I didn't know how to let it out or get past it, so I cried in Jasper's arms. He didn't try to calm me down, understanding that I needed to go through these emotions.

We stood in front of my porch, holding onto each other for what seemed like an hour. In reality, it was probably just a few minutes. As I was about to pull back form Jasper to look up at him, I felt his body tighten. My head snapped up, and I saw a serious expression across his face as he looked towards the woods behind my house. Someone was out there.

"Go inside, Bella," Jasper instructed before he dropped a kiss on my forehead and took a step away from me toward the forest. I grabbed his arm before he could get a step away from me.

"Who's out there, Jazz?" I asked him, begging for it to not be the one person who wanted nothing more than to make my life miserable.

"It's not Victoria, but it is another vampire. I don't recognize their scent, so I want to check it out," he explained, resting his forehead against mine and pulling me tight against him.

"Call your brothers then, and you can all go investigate the strange noise you heard in the woods," I commanded. I knew that he wouldn't call Emmett and Edward. He would insist that that there wasn't enough time and he could lose the trail. We didn't say anything else. Jasper kissed me and ran into the forest before we could.

I pulled the cell phone that Jasper had recently ordered me to carry at all times and hit the speed dial four to reach my big brother. I heard the phone click and spoke before he could even greet me. "Emmett, get Edward and come to my house now. Jasper sensed there was another vampire near and he went to find him."

I heard a string of curses on the other end before the call was disconnected. I stood on my porch for the slow torture of two minutes before Emmett and Edward were standing in front of me with their game faces on. I didn't even realize that I had tear streaks running down my face.

"Alice and Rosalie are on their way back from Port Charles with Esme. They were shopping," Edward explained to me as Emmett ran off into the woods. "Alice got a vision that you had called us but it was almost too late by that point. They should be here soon."

"Edward, I just want this all to be over. I just want everyone to be safe and sound and that psychopath out of our lives," I whispered as my knees gave out and I fell against my ex-boyfriend. I was still for a moment, Edward's arms wrapped around me and holding me up. Then for the second time that day, I felt a vampire go stiff next to me.

"Well, well, well, take about a case of déjà vu."


	35. Building Up

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty-Five: Building Up

I knew who the high-pitched voice belonged to without turning around, and I instantly had chills go up my spine. Before I knew what was happening, Edward had shoved me behind him and was crouching in a defensive stance looking at Victoria.

"Still playing the damsel in distress for your lovesick vampire, I see. Don't worry. I'll be ending this play soon. It's time for some payback, you stupid human bitch." Her voice started out calm but by the time she'd finished it was a loud shrill.

I don't know which had me in shock more, her coming here in broad daylight, her threatening words, or the fact that we were completely oblivious to her plan of attack today. With a psychic as a best friend, you got used to knowing what was going to happen every day. That was fine with me, because I hated surprises. I couldn't move; I couldn't even form a coherent thought. Before I could take in my surroundings long enough to scream, there was a blur of bodies in front of me and the loud crashing of two hard bodies.

I took a step back to lean against my front door and slid down it until I was sitting with my legs curled up against my chest. The vampires in front of me were moving too quickly for my eyes to recognize what was going on. It appeared as if Edward had the upper hand against Victoria; however, I couldn't be sure. I couldn't even tell who the growling was coming from.

I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and turned my head, scared to see what it was. Relief washed through me for a second as I saw Emmett and Jasper running back from the woods with a stranger in tow. He didn't appear to be uncooperative, but it was obvious that he wasn't pleased with the current situation. That makes two of us, buddy.

Emmett ran straight past me to help Edward. Jasper was at my side in an instant while the other vampire stayed a few feet away. I clutched onto Jasper as he picked me up and started running towards his house. I glanced behind us to see that other vampire looking on as Emmett and Edward teamed up against Victoria. His face masked horror and sadness for a brief second before his eyes locked with mine. They were a deep red that caused a chill to run through my body. He started running behind Jasper and I. Jasper must have senses my confusion because he started offered a brief explanation to me.

"His name is Cameron, and he was helping Victoria until recently," he said bluntly.

"He looks familiar, Jazz," I whispered. I don't know why I bothered whispering anymore with all the supernatural beings that were surrounding me. It was impossible to have a secret.

"We saw him at the mall. Victoria had him following you right under my nose. I don't know how I didn't notice," Jasper self-chastised himself. I squeezed myself tighter against him a dropped a soft kiss on his neck to reassure him of himself. "He got into a fight with Victoria and decided to leave her. He didn't understand her hatred for our family and thought it was pointless to put all of the newborns in danger with the upcoming fight. She came to your house to stop him from warning us, but she got distracted when you were there as well."

"Serves her right for messing with our lives and calling me names," I mumbled against his chest. I felt his chuckle in response. "Is he the same vampire that Edward fought with?"

"No. There are a few others that are staying close to town, watching us. She has the majority of them in the bigger surrounding cities, though. They're recruiting others and causing mayhem as you well know," Jasper explained. He slowed his run when we reached the field in front of his home but didn't put me down. Cameron's run came to an abrupt stop next to Jasper.

As we started walking up to the house, Cameron kept taking sideways glances at me. "What are you looking at?" I didn't know how thirsty he was, but if he was a newborn vampire I wasn't comfortable being this close to him. Even Jasper had slip-ups from time to time.

"I don't get it. Why all the trouble for a simple, human girl?" Well, it was safe to say that I would not be making friends with Cameron because he was a dick. Jasper let out a snarl from his chest, informing our new ally that he was not to speak about me with such disregard.

"You used to be human, so I wouldn't try to sound all superior if I were you. Why all the trouble for a stupid vampire who was using you?" I retorted. Newborn or not, I had enough to be frustrated over this week and I had to take it out on someone.

"She changed me, so I felt I owed it to her. I thought I loved her, but she was just manipulating me," he explained.

"Bella changed me, too," Jasper said simply. We walked into the house and found Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Alice all waiting for us in the foyer. Carlisle and Esme looked on with curiosity while Rosalie took a fighting stance at Cameron's presence. Alice ran to Jasper and I, taking me from his arms and wrapping her own around me.

"It's alright, Rosalie," she said. "Cameron is going to help us." She pulled back and looked into my eyes. "I'm so sorry that I didn't see any of this, Bella. Having the werewolves agree to help us has really blurred my visions lately."

"It's okay, Alice. I just don't want anyone to get hurt." My lip trembled and I was passed from Alice to Esme for comfort.

"Where's Emmett?" Rosalie asked with a callous tone to her voice. Great, now she was going to go back to hating me. Especially if I got her mate killed.

"He and Edward are fighting off Victoria. I had to get Bella away from her before she got too close," Jasper explained rationally.

"You just left your brothers there?" Esme asked in shock.

"Don't worry; they'll be walking through the door in sixteen seconds," Alice said as she looked Cameron up and down. "They're both fine, Esme."

"Thank God," I whispered as Jasper took over for Esme. He wrapped his arm low around my waist and pulled me against his chest. I was shaking, my legs trembling. I clutched onto Jasper so I wouldn't sink to the ground.

No one said anything as we waited for the last two members of our family to join us. When they walked through the front door, I let out a loud breath that I didn't realize I was holding. Jasper's grip tightened around my waist instinctively.

"Did you kill her?" Cameron asked with an edge of sadness on his voice.

"Not yet," Emmett said, obviously frustrated by this fact. "We'll get her next time, but the bitch had a couple friends with her. Edward thought it was best to return home just in case they decided to strike here as well." While he was talking, he made his way over to Rosalie and slid up against her. I could see her eyes relax as he did this.

Edward couldn't speak because he was being attacked by Esme and Alice. They were both hugging him and kissing his cheeks, making sure that he was okay. In all honesty, I would have been doing the same if my boyfriend weren't supporting me right now.

Alice suddenly pulled away from our brother and looked toward Cameron. "What are their plans? I've been trying to see them more clearly, but I'm not having any luck."

Cameron didn't say anything for a moment. I stood next to Jasper and just stared at the boy. I was guessing that he was a couple years older than me, but he looked more mature. I didn't understand how he was able to be near me without trying to take a bite, though. I thought that newborn vampires were uncontrollable their first few years.

"I don't know all the details. She's been changing her mind a lot lately," he explained. "She and I have grown apart these last few months."

"How long have you been with her?" I asked.

"She turned me almost a year ago. She was trying to replace her lost lover, but it appears as though I was a disappointment to her." I could hear the hurt and resentment in his voice.

"You're not missing out on much, man. That chick is crazy s hell," Emmett said.

"Emmett, be quiet," Esme whispered to him. Esme hated to see anyone hurting, even if they were on the other team.

"Well, tell us what you know of her plan. We have to be somewhat prepared," Jasper said. He looked over at Edward with a raised eyebrow.

"They were going to wait, but once she found out that Cameron was gone she decided to chase him. She wanted to find him before he could tell us everything he knew. They don't have any definite plans; she's just waiting until she thinks the time is right. Shockingly, Victoria was not the strong thinking partner in the vampire trio that we met up with last year. James was the muscle, Laurent was the brains, but Victoria didn't really bring much to the table," Edward explained to us all.

Cameron stood up straighter, looking at Edward with a furious scowl on his face. "You can read my mind?! Stop it, get out!"

"Yeah, tell me about it," Emmett grumbled. "It gets annoying."

Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper all chuckled despite our current situation as Edward smiled innocently.

"Hey, we have to use whatever weapons are at our disposal, Cameron. There is a psycho vampire chasing me to get revenge because we killed her crazy-as-hell, deranged boyfriend," I said loudly. I had a hysteric edge to my voice and was shaking again.

"Yeah, well, I don't know if I can let you use me," Cameron admitted. He was looking at into my eyes now, his dark red ones seeming less intimidating than before.

"We don't want to use you, Cameron. I know that it feels like you're betraying her, but how can you be so certain that she wouldn't have done the same to you?" I asked him. I moved from Jasper's arms to walk toward the taller boy. When I was standing in front of him, I noticed that his posture changed. He was standing more upright, having been closer to my scent.

"Bella…" Jasper warned from behind me. I felt him come closer to my side but I waved my hand behind me to hold him back.

"You know that she was going to use you. That's why you're so torn right now. You want to hurt her, to foil her plan, but you're still in love with her." I wasn't purposely taunting Cameron. I couldn't control myself. I was walking toward him, closer than I should have been to the newborn.

"You don't know anything about me, human," Cameron snarled at me, looking down at the floor now.

"I know that you want to hurt her but at the same time you want to make her proud," I answered. I took another step until I was less than a foot away from him. "You didn't come here to help us, did you? You came here to kill me, to prove yourself to her." I didn't say anything for a second. I heard the gasps of my family around me, felt the guys come closer to me, ready to yank me away from Cameron.

They weren't fast enough for the newborn. He grabbed me in his arms before any of them could reach me.


	36. A New Cullen

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.

A/N: MotherDuckAtSchool, Bella will not be getting back with Edward. This is definitely a Jasper/Bella story.

A/N 2: BriyerRose, I'm still thinking about the baby thing. I do know that if I decide to take the story down that direction, it wouldn't be Renesmee. It would be a totally different child.

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty-Six:

Victoria was right when she had mentioned déjà vu earlier. Here I was, being held by a sadistic vampire while my family looked on with fearful expressions across their faces. All of the faces except for Jasper. He had a pained look on his features, obviously worried that this would be my end.

Cameron was standing behind me, holding me against his body with his left arm while his right hand had snaked up to encircle my throat. He wasn't holding tight enough for me to not be able to breath, but he was making his point. Esme and Alice were standing a couple yards away from us behind the rest of my family. Esme's face showed concern while Alice was staring off into the distance, trying to see the future to see if I would make it through this fight. Rosalie was standing between Emmett and Edward in a crouching position. She resembled a cat in her stance, just like Victoria had.

Emmett and Edward were another story. Emmett's frame being twice as large as Edward's was always intimidating, but now it was more so than ever. He was ready to spring into action, his biceps flexed, his face scrunching up in a snarl. That's what big brothers are for. Edward was also poised to pounce, but his face was reflecting different emotions. It was the same face that he had given me when he had found me being hurt by James. Pain, fear, anger, determination. It was all evident in his eyes.

Jasper was the closest one to me, only a couple feet away. I could see his mind racing a mile a minute, trying to find the best way to get me from the newborn vampire's grasp without hurting me. His eyes were moving around Cameron so quickly I couldn't make out their color. I was betting that they were black with fury right now.

"I wouldn't try anything funny right now, Jasper," Cameron warned my mate with a low, menacing tone from deep within his throat. "I can snap her neck before you would get a finger on me, and you know it."

"But I would have you dead less than a second after," Jasper retorted. I knew he was being honest as well.

"And then what?" Cameron asked. "You would follow soon after? Not being able to exist without her."

"More than likely," Jasper answered back, looking into my eyes for the first time since Cameron had grabbed me. They were black, but I could still see the love for me that he had shining through them. He was trying to reassure me that I would be okay, even though he himself wasn't sure if I would be.

"How touching. I used to have that, too," Cameron said. He took a step back toward the living room, pulling me gently with him.

"Well, I have it right now. Would you really be the one to take it away?" Jasper asked, gauging the other vampire's reaction.

Cameron wasn't like the nomads that we had dealt with this past year. Even though he was only a year old, he was able to control himself around me. He was holding me so closely to him but he hadn't even tried to take a bite yet. And he was more concerned with love than the urge to feed and kill. He reminded me of Edward in a way. Maybe if Jasper could appeal to his emotions, he would be able to look at our current situation from a different perspective. It was wishful thinking, but what did I have to lose?

"No one can take that away from us, Jazz," I whispered, lifting my arm slowly to reach my hand toward the vampire who had managed to become my world in less than a month.

Cameron didn't move. He was thinking, trying to see what would benefit him the most. Should he kill the human and then be ripped apart by her lover? Should he let her go and then run off back to the sociopath who had been controlling him this last year? Should he stay and fight with this strange family he had just met? I could sympathize with how confusing it must be for him right now.

"Cameron," the soft whisper came from Alice. She was moving, walking closer toward us past Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward. She stopped when she was standing next to Jasper. "My visions haven't been clear lately, but I do know that if you were to return to Victoria, she would show no mercy with you. She would have you killed in an instant to ensure that you wouldn't run away again. I believe that you love her, but I also know that she doesn't feel the same for you."

Even though she was saying things that he did not want to hear, Cameron's posture became more relaxed. His grip around my waist and throat let up, allowing me to take a deep breath of oxygen. He took another step back as Alice took one forward, standing closer to me than Jasper was now. My hand fell down to my side.

Cameron and I were now in the doorway between the foyer and living room in the house. I noticed movement through the large picture window and turned my head along with Cameron. Carlisle's Mercedes was pulling up to the house. He was returning home from the hospital now. I took comfort knowing that my surrogate father was here. He always had a calming way to negotiate with others.

"That's our father, Cameron. He's coming home to check on Bella and to make sure that we're all okay. Don't you want that, too? To know that there are people who care about you, who care about what happens to you? Victoria doesn't," Alice explained as Carlisle walked into the front door and joined our group.

He took his place beside Esme, watching the exchange with worried eyes. Alice nodded a hello to him and then turned back to Cameron and me.

"You can have that here. I've seen different scenarios of your future in my mind. They're constantly changing, because you haven't chosen your path yet. You could be happy here with us. Here with me," she finished. I let out a small gasp and turned to lock eyes with Jasper.

Cameron's posture stiffened again, standing straight up and pulling me up with him. His arms fell to his side and I was in Jasper's arms before I even realized that Cameron was no longer holding me against him. I snuggled against Jasper's chest, clutching my arms tightly around his waist, trying desperately to get as close to him as I could while he stroked my hair and planted kisses on the top of my head. I turned my head slightly to look at Cameron and Alice.

"I… I don't know," Cameron said with a stutter to his voice. He was staring at Alice, frozen as she took another step toward him and was standing directly in front of him. She reached out and grabbed his hands in her own before continuing.

"I've seen it. We travel the world together, experiencing everything. We're happy, you and me. I was so scared that I would never have that again, Cameron. Now I know that I can, and I am hoping that you won't say no to me." I had never seen Alice beg, but I felt like she was about to.

"I don't know if I can live this lifestyle that you do," Cameron admitted, taking a sideways glance to me. Jasper instinctively tightened his grip on me. Cameron hung his head.

"It will be difficult at first, but of course you will be able to. Jasper was able to adjust, and so will you," Alice assured him.

Cameron didn't say anything. He pulled Alice to him and wrapped her in his arms. I could hear them each let a strangled sigh escape their lips and couldn't stop myself from smiling at the new pair. Alice truly was my best friend, and while I knew that she wanted Jasper and I to be happy with each other it didn't stop me from feeling guilty that I was now with the person she thought she would spend eternity with. Now if only I could find someone for Edward to lessen that guilt.

Our family stood silent while the two new lovers shared a quiet moment together, reveling in the feeling of each others arms. When they finally pulled back from each other, Cameron looked at me with sorrow and regret.

"I'm sorry for almost hurting you, Bella. I won't let it happen again," Cameron vowed while Alice wrapped herself around his side.

"I won't let it happen again," Jasper said, all but snarling at our new brother. I pinched his side, knowing that I wouldn't hurt him but also knowing that he would get the point. He looked down at me and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "Bella and I are going to go upstairs for awhile," he announced. He had pulled me up to our room and locked the door behind us before anyone could say anything.

Jasper placed me on our large bed and crouched down so that our eyes were level. "You are never to do anything that risky again, Isabella Swan. I can't lose you now that I have you," he stated, his voice louder than normal. Jasper had never given me an order before, but I understood the fear that he had just experienced. It was the same fear that I had felt when he was fighting Laurent in the woods.

"I promise, Jasper," I whispered before throwing myself into his arms, wrapping my own around his neck. He was not expecting the sudden force behind my actions and we both toppled to the ground. My lips were on his, more demanding than they'd ever been. "I promise you everything, Jasper Whitlock," I moaned against his lips as his hands moved to grasp my hips and pull them harder against his own.

My kissing became harder and more demanding. I let my tongue snake out of my mouth and lick Jasper's bottom lip, urging him to open his mouth to mine. He happily obliged, matching my actions with his own. My hands moved down from his face to the bottom of his shirt, pulling it upward to expose the taut stomach underneath it. We broke apart from each other's mouths as I pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it to the ground next to us. Jasper took this opportunity to do the same with my own shirt.

His lips found their way back to my mouth before starting a path of kisses along my jaw and neck. Finally finding his way to my chest, Jasper placed a trail of kisses along the top of my bra, dipping his tongue underneath the fabric every now and then. My breaths were coming pants as my hands were gripping his hips tightly, digging into his hard skin as I pulled his lower half against mine roughly.

"Jasper," I moaned out. "Jasper, I need you to…" I lost my thoughts as he undid my bra and let it fall from my body. Jasper was now hovering above me as I lay on the floor at the foot of our bed.

"What do you need me to do, sweetheart?" he asked against my skin. His mouth was on my breast and his hands were working their way down to my hips, getting ready to dispose of my jeans as well.

I used my own hands to pull his lower half against mine again, wanting the pleasure of the friction it caused. "I need you, Jasper," I finally managed to get out. "Make love to me," I begged him.


	37. Needing to Connect

_Okay, I've been seriously neglecting this story lately, so I'm going to try to get some chapters out tonight before I have to go back to the hell that is my work tomorrow._

_I'm warning you all right now, there's some __**sexual content**__ in this chapter. It's lemony goodness._

_On that note, I want to make sure that there wouldn't be too many loyal readers who would be put off by a couple more chapters with __**lemons**__ in them. __**Please let me know in your reviews**__. I know that I will definitely be writing one for Jasper and Bella's first time together, but I don't know if I'll do any other ones as well._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Needing to Connect

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Jasper's kissing stopped and his head stilled at my chest. He slowly pulled back and looked up into my eyes. I moved my hand to caress his cheek and move the hair back that had fallen out of place behind his ear.

"Did you just say that you want to make love?" he asked me. I simply nodded my head. "With me?" What a stupid question. I nodded my head anyway. "Right now?" Another nod.

"How many more questions do you have to ask before we can actually do it?" I teased him.

Jasper seemed to shake himself out of his stupor with my teasing. "Bella, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Jasper, I want to be with you. I want to make love to you and be as close to as you as I can before it's too late," I admitted to him as he moved his body so that his face was level with mine and we were now laying on our sides facing each other.

"What do you mean?" Jasper's hand was tracing soft circles on my hip as he spoke.

"I want to know what it's like to make love to you in case I—in case I don't make it out of this fight alive," I whispered to him. "We came close today, Jazz. Victoria and Cameron could have both killed me, and you know it." Jasper started shaking his head, but I stopped him by placing my fingers on his lips. "I don't want to die not knowing what it was like to be fully with you, to be connected to you in every way possible. I want you to be the first, last, and only person I ever make love with, Jasper Whitlock."

"Bella, I will be, but we don't have to rush into this. We've only been together for a few weeks, and I don't want you to think that you have to do this because of what's going on right now. I will protect you from Victoria. There is no way that I will let her kill you, darling. None of us will," he vowed, pulling my hips against his. It wasn't a sexual move, just intimate.

"I know that you are all going to protect me the best you can, but let's be realistic for a moment, dear. Last year, I almost died by James, then Laurent came after me, and now I'm at the top of Victoria's hit list. They want me dead, and she's not going to give up very easily. She has put together a small army for the specific purpose of killing me," I explained with desperation in my voice. Why wouldn't any of them understand? "This is serious, Jasper. There's a chance that we won't all survive this, and I just want to feel close to you. You're the most important person in my world, and I want to share something special with you. Would you really deny me?"

I know that it was a low blow, but I needed to be with him. If I was going to die, I wanted to be sure that I had truly loved someone and had them love me back with everything we had. I wanted to be connected to Jasper in every way before this fight happened.

"I can never deny you anything, darling. Of course, I want to be with you, and I will if that's what you want and you're ready," Jasper agreed. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips, and I knew that there was something else to follow his words. "I won't be with you right now, though. Our family is downstairs, and we do need to return to them soon to discuss what we're going to do about Victoria."

I nodded my head and moved so that I could lay it against Jasper's shoulders. I moved my hands down to his hips again and pulled him toward me. I heard him chuckle.

"You're insatiable, darling," he said as he moved his lower half to grind against mine again. I moaned and bit my bottom lip. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt if we were to stay up here for a little while longer," he said as his hand worked its way to the clasp of my jeans, easily unsnapping and unzipping them.

I shrieked as Jasper quickly lifted me by my hips and placed me on his own so that I was straddling him. He leaned up and began his torturously slow kisses on my breasts again as I lifted my hips and let him lower my jeans from my hips and slid them down my legs. I kicked them off my feet, not caring where they went. I was now clad in only underwear while sitting atop my gorgeous, shirtless vampire boyfriend. The afternoon had started out sucking but was definitely improving.

Once my jeans were off, Jasper moved his kisses up to my neck and then farther up until he reached my mouth. Our lips and tongues dueled as his hands cupped my breasts and teased my nipples. My own hands moved to his chest, mimicking his motions. When I felt Jasper pinch my nipples between his fingers, I ground onto him harder than before and let a low moan escape my throat as my head fell back.

"God, Bella, you are so sexy right now," Jasper moaned out. His mouth found mine again and I was so lost in our kisses that I didn't notice when Jasper's hands moved lower to my hips. I heard the loud rip and looked down to see that Jasper had literally ripped my underwear off me. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he simply shrugged and smirked as he threw the pieces to the floor with the rest of our clothing.

Without warning, Jasper buried his fingers inside me. I screamed out his name and my eyes closed, lost in the sensation of his cold fingers inside my heat. The way they contradicted each other had me almost ready to cum. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Jasper's shoulders, holding our chests together. My head lay on his shoulder as I planted kisses along his neck.

As Jasper's hand started moving inside me, I responded with movements from my own hips to match each thrust he was giving me. I felt Jasper's thumb start to stroke my clit and I rode his hand harder, biting down on his shoulder to stop myself from screaming out his name again.

I managed to become coherent enough to move my hands between us and was able to push Jasper's jeans and boxers down far enough so that his erection could spring out of them. I ran my finger along the tip, spreading the small pool of venom that was already there. Obviously, our dry humping earlier had not only affected me. I began pumping Jasper's cock in my hands as his thrusting grew faster and harder.

I could hear him grown underneath me and couldn't stop myself from returning the sounds. Our mouths found each other again, battling each other as our hands worked faster to bring each other to the edge. My orgasm was growing closer and I began to moan louder against Jasper's mouth and bouncing against his hand harder, clutching his cock harder in my own hands.

"Bella, I'm so close, honey," Jasper hissed out and I squeezed his length that was pressed up against my bare stomach. "I need you to cum with me," he begged. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he curled his fingers onto my g-spot and pinched the tiny bundle of nerves at the same time as his mouth found my nipple.

The grip that I had on Jasper's cock tightened as my walls clenched around his hand. With another long stroke, he was cumming onto my stomach as I bit down hard on his shoulder, shaking with my own climax. I could feel our lust escalate, Jasper using it to make our orgasms stronger.

We both reveled in the feeling of one another, neither of us slowing our actions. I kept pumping his cock as his fingers continued to slide in and out of me. We weren't working as hard now, just enjoying the sensations. I never wanted to stop, but we were broken out of our bubble of pleasure too soon.

"If you two are done now, we really need you to get back down here so we can go over what our next move is going to be," Rosalie yelled up the steps. I heard Emmett laughing from the living room along with Alice and Cameron. I wondered if they were just as anxious for our family meeting to be over so they could get to know each other better as well.

Jasper and I both sighed as we removed our hands from each other. I moved to sit next to Jasper and looked up at him. His eyes were deep black again, and I wondered if it were just from the lust or if he were fighting bloodlust now as well.

"Do you need to go on a quick hunt before we go downstairs?" I asked him. I reached over to grab my torn underwear and used them to wipe my stomach of Jasper's release. I would definitely need to take a fast shower to get all the stickiness off my body.

Jasper turned to face me and smirked. I raised my eye, but he simply moved his hand up to his mouth and sucked my release off of his fingers slowly, enjoying the taste. "I'm good, baby. This tastes way better than blood," he said with smug smile on his face.

I laughed out loud before he stood and pulled me up with him. I pointed to our bathroom and wiggled my eyebrows at him. It was his turn to laugh as he dragged me through the door before yelling down the stairs to our family that we wouldn't be down for awhile longer. We jumped into the shower where Jasper was able to have a more direct taste of me.


	38. Family Meeting

_Alright, ladies and gentleman (if there are any gentlemen reading this), I'm going to try to get the story progressed a little in the next few chapters, so I apologize if they seem rushed. I am having a little trouble deciding where I'm going with everything and how long it's going to end up being._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Family Meeting

Jasper and I walked down the stairs to find seven pairs of eyes looking at us impatiently. Well, five pairs at least. Alice and Emmett just smirked, thinking it was hilarious that we had managed to make them all wait for the last hour while Jasper and I did unholy things to each other in our bedroom and shower. Oh well, I don't care. My boyfriend is hot, and I'm proud of myself for not constantly dragging him into nearby closets for a little fun. I was never so happy that Edward could not read my thoughts than at this very moment.

"Do you have something to say for yourselves?" Rosalie asked with a scowl. She was perched on Emmett's lap while he sat in one of the oversized chairs that was a part of the Cullens' living room set. Esme had an almost identical expression on her face except not as bitchy. She was seated next to Carlisle in the loveseat next to Rosalie and Emmett's chair.

"Not really," Jasper shrugged as he plopped into the other oversized chair that was across the coffee table from the other one. He pulled me down into his lap, and I couldn't hold in the small giggle that escaped my mouth. I knew that we were going through a serious time right now, but damned if I didn't deserve to have a little joy in my life brought to me by how in love I was with Jasper.

Rosalie hissed at Jasper as Emmett rubbed her shoulders to try and calm her down. "Have you forgotten about our current situation, brother?!"

"Yeah, Rose. It totally slipped my mind that there's a vampire bitch out there who is adamant on killing my future wife," Jasper responded with anger in his voice. I couldn't tell if it was because he was feeling Rosalie's annoyance or if this was his own building up. I'm betting it was both. I was just proud of myself for not going stiff or passing out when he called me his future wife.

Of course, I wasn't the only one that caught that slip. I saw Alice and Esme share a smile with each other. Cameron had to hold Alice down to the couch they were sitting on. Thank God, because I didn't need her bounding over to me and breaking me with a hug. I tried to gauge Edward's reaction to the words, but he only closed his eyes. He was still adjusting, and I understood that it would take him some time before he could think of Jasper and I like that without cringing.

Jasper wasn't noticing the reactions of our family, because he was still upset by Rosalie's comment to him. "I'm not going to apologize to you, Rosalie. Bella and I have done nothing wrong, and you know it. She is dealing with a lot right now, and she deserves a damn break every now and then. If I want to steal her away from the world for one damn hour so that she can enjoy herself then I will."

"She wasn't the only one enjoying herself, Jazzy," Emmett teased.

"Get bent," my boyfriend replied as he slouched back into the chair.

"Enough, guys. I'm not going to sit here and listen to everyone argue and mine and Jasper's sex life. It's none of your business," I broke into the conversation. I knew that I was blushing from ear to ear and sunk down further into Jasper's lap.

"Bella's right, everyone," Carlisle stated. "We need to give them some privacy and just move on to what we need to speak about." Carlisle paused for a moment while everyone settled down. He looked at me and offered a small smile. "Bella, Jasper, while you were upstairs, we filled Cameron in on all that happened last year with James and then this year with Laurent. He knew some of the details, but Victoria had managed to change the story to make her look like the victim."

"She's the victim. Yeah, that's hilarious," Alice interrupted. "The only victims are those who have to suffer through her disgusting fashion choices."

Jasper and I both chuckled softly, thankful for Alice breaking the tension in the room.

"We also let Cameron know that Jake and his friends have agreed to help us in our fight against Victoria and her army of newborns," Carlisle continued. I looked at him with a surprised look crossing my face. "It's alright, Bella. We can trust Cameron. The werewolves will be safe. You know that I would never put them in harms way, especially since they're being so helpful."

I nodded at Carlisle and relaxed as Jasper started to lightly stroke my back and send calming waves through my body. Edward continued where Carlisle left off.

"We're still planning on meeting with the wolves tonight. We all need to learn from Jasper the best way to combat and kill the newborns, and the werewolves need to see the speed and strength they're up against. Having Cameron on our side now can only be an advantage for us, because he can help us get an insight into the newborns as well as all the experience that Jasper has had in the past."

I felt Jasper tense underneath me and noticed Edward nod to him. It was obvious that they had explained Jasper's past to Cameron as well, and I was upset by this. Jasper's story was his own, and Edward knew that it should only be shared with his permission. As I was about to speak up, Jasper stopped me with a pinch to my hip.

"It's alright, darling," he whispered in my ear. "He needs to know. It will help us all work together better," he rationalized.

I planted a soft kiss on his cheek before turning back to Edward with a small scowl on my face. He only smirked, having been on the other end of the scowl before. He knew that nothing would come of it.

"Well, you know everything that we know now," Jasper said, looking at Cameron. "What do you know?"

Cameron looked around the room as Alice squeezed his hand in reassurance. "Now that she's had contact with you, she's going to be expecting you to react quickly. With me being here, she's going to expect that we attack them where they're staying right now. I don't think that would be a wise idea. I think it would be best to wait for awhile until she could be surprised," he offered.

"No," I said. All eyes in the room turned to look at me in surprise. "I can't wait anymore. I can't live in fear and always looking over my shoulder, wondering if today is the day that she kills me or Charlie or one of you. I need this to be over," I whispered. I could feel tears starting to build in my eyes and tried to sniff them back.

"Bella's right. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can all move on with our lives," Rosalie agreed. I looked up at her with surprise and was pleased when she smiled softly back at me. It looked like she wasn't going to go back to hating me as easily as I had expected.

"Yeah, let's this show on the road," Emmett agreed. He had different motives than I did, but I didn't care as long as he was on my side.

"How many newborns does she have right now?" Jasper asked Cameron, changing the subject. He was going to look at this from all angles with as much information as he could gather before making any decisions.

Cameron thought for a moment, calculating in his head. "She has around fifteen, but the number keeps changing. They keep fighting with each other, killing each other off. And she keeps creating more. I'm worried that she'll add more to the mix now that she knows I've crossed enemy lines."

"I worried about that myself," Jasper agreed. "That's another reason for us to act as quickly as possible. That way, if she does add to the mix, it won't be by much. There are eight of us and six werewolves right now. Jake told us that they were still changing, though. I don't know how many we'll end up with."

"Jasper, they aren't just for our personal use," I grumbled to him.

"I know, Bella, but I have to look at this from a statistics point of view," he replied. "We need to go into this with our eyes open."

"That's fourteen for our side; we're still outnumbered," Edward said.

"I spoke with Irina today, and she's too distraught over the loss of Laurent to help us. Her sisters will stand by her side," Carlisle said with a disappointed tone to his voice. It hurt him to be in an argument with the Denali vampires. They were the closest the Cullens had to family.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," I whispered, causing him to look up at me. The sadness was gone from his eyes, replaced with surprise and worry.

"Bella, everything will work out between us. They will come to understand that Laurent made his own decisions in wanting to hurt you. There was nothing else we could do," he stated.

"Well, we're not completely outnumbered. I have my new power to work for us," I offered.

"Hell yeah," Emmett cheered. "It's going to be hilarious to see you throw the newborns all over the place." Rosalie chuckled at his excitement.

"That's not going to be happening," Edward said, voicing his own opinion into the mix. I turned to him with a snap of my head and didn't need to voice my question. "You are not going to be anywhere near the fight, Bella."


	39. Another Vote

_I don't know how many more of these I have in me tonight, but I'm just going to keep writing until nothing comes out._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Another Vote

"What?! Of course I am, Edward. I'm not going to let you all go fight my battle for me. Victoria wants me, remember?" I answered his tone with my own.

"He's right, Bella," Jasper answered for his brother. "It's too dangerous for you to be near all the fighting. If one of the newborns got past us, we wouldn't be able to save you. We'll be so caught up in fighting, Bella, that it will be too easy for us to lose control around you as well."

"Jasper, I'm not worried about any of you losing control around me. Enough has happened between us in this last year that I know none of you would ever hurt me. As far as the newborns, if I'm there with you then they'll be too distracted to put up a decent fight against you. It would only help for me to be there. If anyone gets too close to me, I can throw them back."

"You don't know that, Bella. We don't know enough about your power to actually try to use it in battle. If it didn't work, you would be dead," he said.

I had now turned in Jasper's lap and was looking him in the eye. His expression was stoic, not showing any emotion. Mine was not, even though I knew it wasn't necessary. Jasper could feel my hurt and frustration and anger.

"Jasper, I can't stay behind while you go. I would be in torture not knowing what was going on, not being able to offer any type of help that I can. I'm not as helpless as I was last year. I know that I'm not match up against Victoria or one of the newborns, but that doesn't mean that I'm completely useless."

"I have never thought of you as useless, darling. And I would love for you to be able to grasp and grow your power as much as you want, but not during this fight," Jasper whispered to me. "I just cannot bear the thought of you standing there with us, knowing that Victoria could get possibly get past me and kill you. Or even worse, if I lost control of my bloodlust and went after you again." He hung his head, not able to look me in the eye.

I moved my hand to cup his chin and raised his face to look at me again. I leaned my forward against his and whispered against his lips. "Jasper, you have been amazing in learning how to be in command of yourself around me. Case and point, what happened with us in our bedroom awhile ago. There's no way you would be able to be that close to me and not bite me if you weren't in control."

"I know, Bella, but I don't want to take the chance," Jasper said. His voice had changed from commanding to fearful. I placed a soft kiss on his lips, needing to show him that I loved him before I took my next action.

I turned away from Jasper, staying on his lap but leaning forward. "What do all of you think?" I asked. "Honestly, do you think that it would be beneficial to have me there during the fight? Let's take a vote on it." I felt Jasper tense beneath me and closed my eyes, cringing because I was hurting him with this defiance. It had to be done, though.

I looked at Alice first, starting at the end of the circle we formed in the living room. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to see into the future for any sign of what she should answer. She opened her eyes and looked at me. "I can't get a clear read on anything yet, Bella, so I'm going to have to say that you should not be present at the fight. It's too great of a risk, and I don't want to lose my best friend."

Cameron was next, even though he was new to our family. I needed all the chances for support I could get right now. He looked directly at me and gave me an approving nod. "You seem to have thought this through, so I don't see any reason to stop you. We will need all the help we can get, and if your power is as strong as it sounds then we would be stupid to not put it to use." I nodded back at him before looking to Edward.

"Do I need to dignify this with an answer?" he questioned me.

"Do whatever you want, Edward."

"No, you should not and will not be at this fight, Bella," he stated. He pinched the bridge of his nose and I would've chuckled any other time.

"That's your opinion. Good to know," I said before turning to look at Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett was of course the first to answer.

"Of course you should be there, Bella. This revolves around you just as much as any of us. You are pretty diabolical," he joked, referring to last year.

"I think that it's time you make your own decisions, so if this is what you want to do then it's alright with me," Rosalie stated. I smiled at her and a stray tear rolled down my cheek.

"Bella, dear, you are like another daughter to me. I could not stand if anything were to happen to you during this fight. You are still so frail. It would be too easy to lose you, and I could not watch Jasper or Edward suffer through that," Esme answered. "No, darling, you should not be in the fight."

Carlisle was the last person to vote, and he could honestly go either way. I expected him to vote no, because he was the fatherly figure of our family. He would want to protect me at all costs. I was surprised when Edward gasped and looked at him, though. "You have as much right to come as anyone else does, Bella. If you know all the options and consequences and you still want to come, then do so. You will have my support in whatever you decide."

"Thank you, Carlisle," I whispered to him, rewarded with a small smile from my surrogate father.

I turned back to look at Jasper and found a blank expression across his face. "I love you, Jasper Whitlock," I said as I placed my hands on either side of his face, holding his gaze to mine. "I love you more than my own life, but this is something that I need to do. I need to be there to make sure that you come back to me. If I were to stay out of this and you were killed then I would always wonder if there was something that I could have done to save you. I won't live like that, and I would never ask you to either."

His eyes showed understanding and I sighed contentedly as he leaned up and kissed me thoroughly. The kiss lasted longer than it should have considering our family was there, but no one said anything. We needed to show each other our love and support, and this was how we did that.

"No more votes, darling," Jasper whispered against my lips as we pulled apart. "They always seem to go in your favor."

I giggled and placed another soft kiss on his mouth. "I can't help it if I'm more convincing than you, sweetheart. Maybe I should go to law school." Our family chuckled with us this time.

I turned back to see Edward gone from the room just in time to hear the back door slam shut. Esme made a move to follow her oldest son, but Jasper stopped her. "Let me go, mom," he said. He tapped my hip and I stood so that he could get up from our chair. He leaned back down for another soft kiss on my lips before walking out the back door behind Edward.

"It's about time those two hashed some stuff out," Emmett said. "They haven't really talked much since we all came back."

"Good, I hope they can work everything out," I said.


	40. Brotherly Bonding

_Okay, I may be taking this too personally or just reeling from a very uncomfortable conversation I had with my boss, but if people don't like my writing then they don't have to read it. I am not a mean person- and I hope this doesn't sound rude or disrespectful- but I write for myself and I post the story because I hope that others will enjoy it as well._

_I love writing, and I will continue doing so no matter what people say/do about it, but I do not have to appreciate when others pinpoint every little mistake they believe that I'm making. So I'm only saying this: If you don't like my story, then please hit the 'BACK' button and enjoy someone else's instead. I'm not forcing anyone to read it._

_Onto the next chapter. It's in JPOV, because I know that a lot of you prefer JPOV vs. BPOV. It's a little short, but I hope you like it._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty: Brotherly Bonding

I walked out the back door and found Edward sitting against one of the large trees at the end of our yard. I had known that this conversation was inevitable, and I had postponed it for long enough. Edward and I had once had one of the closest relationships in our family, and I had taken advantage of that by not being honest with him.

_Do you mind if I join you?_ I took a seat next to him when he moved slightly to give me room. _I'm sorry. _Edward raised his eyebrows in my direction, and I decided to elaborate verbally to further our conversation. "For everything, Edward. I never really said it to you, and I owe you that much."

"You don't owe me anything, Jasper," my brother said, still not looking up at me.

"Yes, I do. You've always been so supportive of me, and I took advantage of that. I know that Bella and I should have told you before you had to find out about us the way you did. I can't even imagine how hurt I would feel if it were me in your position."

"Do you love her?" he asked. Surely he knew the answer to this, but I was assuming that he was just making a point.

_Yes, I love Bella with all that I am._

"That's all that matters," Edward said with a simple smile on his face. He looked up at me then and gave me a teasing punch to my shoulder. "I just hate that she still has to put up with running from these crazy vampires. She's only eighteen years old; she should be off enjoying life and not having to worry about if she's going to live through the day. You were all right last year. I should have never brought her into this life."

"You love her, Edward. A person can't stay away from that," I replied. We sat in silence for a moment before I continued. "If I were strong at all, I would leave her like you did to protect her. I just feel that it's too late even if I could put myself through that. I don't think there's a way for her out of it now, and I'm sorry for that."

"Jasper, I don't think she could handle you leaving her as well," my brother said simply. I could feel the guilt coming off him in waves.

"Edward, you did what you thought was right. I understand that you were trying to protect her, and Bella knows as well. She's forgiven you."

"I know that, but I can't help think that it was the stupidest thing I could have ever done. I just left her in the woods, knowing how heart-broken she would be. I should have realized that Laurent and Victoria were still too close for comfort. If you weren't here to protect her from him…" Edward didn't finish his sentence. Neither of us could bear to think of our Bella hurt or worse.

"We can't let her in this fight, Jazz," Edward whispered low so that our family wouldn't be able to hear from inside the house. I nodded. "We have to come up with something, but she's too intelligent for her own good."

"She really is diabolical," I said, affirming Emmett's beliefs of my girlfriend. "She is just too damn stubborn to understand that her actions are only diabolical to herself. I wonder if Jake would help us distract her, or maybe tie her up and lock her away somewhere until we've defeated Victoria and her gang."

"He might. But I think if we were to tie her up and lock her away that you would be spending eternity in the doghouse, brother," Edward teased me. I unconsciously teased me. It would be pure torment to be kept out of Bella's bed now that I knew what I would be missing.

"You're right. I definitely don't want that," I replied. I didn't elaborate with Edward as I normally did with Emmett. I didn't want to rub salt in the wound. "Can you sneak away tonight to speak with him?"

"I will. I'll take Alice with me, too. She thinks if she were to learn more about the wolves that she would be able to find a way to look past them in her visions," he said. Edward stood with ease from the ground, and I followed him. "How are you going to distract her?"

I snapped my head to look at Edward and saw him cringe before I could stop myself from thinking of Bella lying naked underneath me. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"I should have known," Edward replied in his own whisper. "You don't have to be sorry, Jasper. It's normal for you to do those things with Bella. You're in a loving relationship," he reasoned.

I don't know if he was reasoning for my benefit or his own. I knew that Edward and Bella had never gone farther than some heated kissing and touching. He had always been too worried that he wouldn't be able to control himself with her. I had been worried as well, but I was not strong enough to keep my hands off Bella.

"What's it like?" I heard him ask. If I weren't a vampire, I wouldn't have known he said anything. "To be with her like that, I mean."

"Well, we haven't made love yet," I answered. I was trying with determination to block my thoughts from becoming too detailed. "But what we have done has been amazing. I love Bella, and it's wonderful to be able to express that to her, to just be close to her with no barriers between us."

"Aren't you scared, though?" I knew that he wasn't referring to the actual experience but to the repercussions that could happen with it.

"I'm terrified, little brother," I answered honestly, "but I cannot refuse her. I'm not as strong as you are in that department."

"You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for, Jasper. I know that I'm partially to blame for that." He hung his head, feeling ashamed of his prior words and actions toward me.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, Edward. I don't blame you for being protective of her. And I hope that she'll understand why we're going to do what we are now," I stated. "She's being far too dangerous and not thinking of the consequences."

"She did the same thing last year when she ran off to meet with James. I thought I was going to have a heart attack if I hadn't known better," he said, lost in his memories. "I was thinking of a hundred possible scenarios as I was running to catch up to her, and they all ended the same way. I don't want this to come to that, Jasper."

"Same here." I paused as we both started walking toward the house. "We won't lose her," I vowed. Edward only nodded.


	41. Another Favor from the Wolves

_This chapter is going to be told from EPOV, because Jasper and Bella will be present during the upcoming events. I don't want any of you to get the wrong idea; Edward and Bella will not be ending up together in this story. Some of you have questioned that, and while I'm not one hundred percent sure on some things that will/will not be happening, I do know that the only person Bella will be with is Jasper._

_The next chapter will switch back to BPOV, and it will be lemony. I'm warning you all now._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty-One: Another Favor from the Wolves

I walked into the living room to rejoin my family with Jasper close at my heels. "I'm going on a hunt. Does anyone want to join me?" I asked before I let any of my family's thoughts seep into my head. They all wanted to know how my conversation with Jasper went. They would find out eventually, so I might as well take advantage of going hunting to explain it to them.

No one responded right away, so I looked at Alice with a pleading gaze. I knew that she would understand quicker than anyone else. Her lips turned up into a small smile as she locked my gaze. Alice stood from the couch with enthusiasm before turning to everyone.

"We'll join you, Edward. Cameron's getting used to being around Bella, so I'm sure it would be good for him to have a snack. And we can all have some family bonding time," she stated. Cameron stood by her side, already willing to follow Alice anywhere. His thoughts were focused on spending more time with her and getting to know her.

Rosalie and Esme both stood up as well, pulling their mates with them. The women had come to the conclusion in their mind that we were trying to give Jasper and Bella some time alone, and they would drag their partners with them as well.

"I'll stay behind with Bella," Jasper offered as he picked her up and sat back down in the chair he was seated in before our conversation. He pulled her back into his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist to hold her closer to him.

"Honey, you should go if you want to," Bella said, looking at him. "I know that you were hungry earlier," she whispered. I still didn't understand why she bothered trying to be discreet. I would pick up her words either through my hearing or through my brother's thoughts.

"Bella, that was a different kind of hunger, darling," Jasper teased. "I went earlier today, so I'll be fine."

"We'll see you later," I announced as I started out the door. "Rose, would you please explain to Emmett," I said as we were outside and started to run toward the woods.

"We're giving them some time alone," she said to her husband. His thoughts had been grumbling, wanting to stay in for the night because he had hunted earlier with Jasper.

_Nice, Eddie. Being the bigger man and letting your brother get a piece._

I growled at his thoughts. "You know better than that, Emmett," I warned him. Bella was his sister, too, and although I knew that he was teasing I still didn't like to hear her being referred to as a simple sex object.

_Sorry, Edward, I was only teasing. It was nice of you, though, especially considering everything._

"I just want her to be happy," I whispered, knowing everyone was hearing me and not caring. I started to run faster, putting some distance between my family and myself. I came to a clearing in the forest and crouched behind a rock, having spotted a small family of deer feeding in the dark.

Alice came up behind me next and crouched by my side. _I saw a change in the future, Edward. I'll go to La Push with you to speak with Bella's friend Jacob. I'm glad that you and Jasper are both working together on this. She won't be as mad this way. If I help along with Esme, it will hurt her less._

I nodded my head but didn't say anything. I wasn't ready for the others to know. Rosalie would be upset about us making decisions for Bella again, Carlisle would disapprove of not letting Bella know our concerns, and I didn't know how much trust I could in Cameron yet. I knew that I couldn't trust Emmett with a secret though. My brother had a big mouth.

The others joined us, oblivious to our silent conversation and helped descend on the family of deer in the clearing. I could tell through Cameron's thoughts that he wasn't as satisfied with the taste of animal blood s he was with human blood, but he would get used to it. It took all of us some time and patience, but it was well worth it to all be able to be with each other.

We were just finishing up when Alice looked over at me and nodded her head. Rising from her crouched position over a doe, she turned to our family.

"I need to go to La Push with Edward and speak with the wolves. I am a little curious about something I saw in a vision and wanted to clear it up. We shouldn't be gone too long, though. You guys stay awhile longer; maybe a couple hours," she finished with a smirk on her face. She wiggled her eyebrows at Rosalie and Emmett who only chuckled in response.

Cameron stood up from his position on the ground as well, and Alice walked over to him. He placed his hands on her hips, already comfortable with her proximity. "I'll see you later tonight," she said to him with a soft smile.

It was decided that Cameron was going to be staying with us in Alice's room. Our home was becoming crowded to say the least. I was thinking of asking Esme to build me a cottage on our property, but I would wait until things settled down for awhile.

I started walking away from everyone and heard my sister approaching me a moment later. _You won't need to have Esme build you a cottage, Edward. Jasper and Bella are going to be moving out in a year or so. It's not clear yet if they're going to be staying in Forks or moving on to another location. They've toyed around with the idea of going off on their own for awhile until Bella's got more of a control of herself._

I nodded, not knowing how to feel about this. It would be good to not have to hear her making love to Jasper every night and to not have to hear his thoughts of love toward her. I would miss them both, though. Jasper was my brother, and Bella was my best friend even though I still loved her with all that I was. It truly would take time for our family to become completely comfortable with each other again.

We approached La Push, and I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I instinctively moved closer to Alice, ready to fight if necessary.

_Can you smell who it is?_

_No, but I can tell that it's more than one of them._

_Do you think it's that Victoria that we're supposed to be looking out for?_

_It could be; she wouldn't know about the border. You sneak up on the east, and I'll take the west._

"It's Edward and Alice Cullen. We just came to talk, not start any trouble," I yelled out to the two wolves that I could hear communicating in the forest. I couldn't make out which ones they were, but I knew that neither was Jacob Black. I saw them emerge from the shadows, having phased back into their human forms. I recognized them as Jacob's friends Quil and Embry.

"Hello, Edward, Alice," Quil said, slowly approaching us. Embry hung back behind him, more hesitant with our newly formed alliance.

"We were hoping to speak with Jake," Alice said to the boys. She stayed by my side, curbing her impulse to normally approach the person she was speaking with. Even Alice knew that we had to be careful in our dealings with the Quileute tribe.

"I'll phase and call him over here for you," Embry offered before running back into the woods. The three of us stood there in awkward silence. I was trying not to laugh as Alice was singing a horrible Britney Spears song in her head, intending to offer me some comic relief. Before she could get to the second chorus, Embry and Jake both emerged from the trees in their human forms.

"Edward, Alice, what can I help you with?" Jake asked. He was becoming more pleasant with our family, but I could tell that he was dreading what we were about to ask him. We had already asked permission from him for so much these past couple of weeks.

"We got attacked by Victoria and some of her friends this afternoon," I started to explain. I noticed Jacob beginning to shake, upset by this. "Bella's fine; we all are. We got to speaking, and Bella wants to be a part of the fight with Victoria's vampire gang. She's convinced her newly found power can be used to our advantage."

"She's crazy," Jacob answered simply. "There is no way we can let her near this fight! It's bad enough that she spends 24 hours a day at your house with seven of you!" Jake was more than upset now, yelling as loud as he could, growling in between sentences.

"We don't want her to either, Jacob. The others agreed to let her, though. They're concerned for her safety, but they don't want to push her away by letting her think that she cannot run her own life. She doesn't like others making decisions for her or speaking for her," Alice explained to the angry, young werewolf.

His shaking calmed slightly as he smirked. Jacob's thoughts started drifting toward a memory of Bella sitting beneath him, upset over something. I saw Jacob lean in to kiss her before being thrown away from her.

"You tried to kiss her?!" I yelled at the boy. His smile fell from his lips and turned into a scowl. I approached Jacob only to be pulled back by Alice.

"It shouldn't have happened, and she threw me into her kitchen for trying," Jake shrugged it off. _She was already too wrapped up in another bloodsucker to see me._

I growled, letting Jacob know that I heard his thoughts. Not surprisingly, he didn't care.

"What do you want me to do about it?" he asked us.

"We need your help in keeping her away from the fight," Alice explained. "We need to find a type of distraction so that she won't want to be involved."

Jacob thought for a moment before grinning again. "I know what we can do."


	42. My First Night With You

_Alright, here's your warning. This is a TOTAL LEMON. This is their first time; I get to be as graphic and involved as I want to be. Enjoy! But not too much. ___

_Oh yeah, we're back to BPOV._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty-Two: My First Night With You

Our family had just walked out the back door, leaving me alone with Jasper. I turned to face him, my legs now straddling his. I placed a soft kiss on his lips before wrapping my arms around his neck and snuggling closer to him.

"Did you and Edward have a good talk, darling?" I asked.

"Yes, Bella, we were able to put everything behind us. I'm glad that we could," he answered honestly while moving his head so that his lips were against my neck. He began placing kisses there, leading down to my shoulder. He lowered the strap on my camisole to grant him more access to the skin there.

"Jasper… how long is everyone going to be gone?" I asked, reveling in the feeling of his lips against the sensitive skin of my shoulder. His hands moved to my waist, pushing underneath my camisole and moving up my back to press me tighter against his chest. We both groaned as my nipples hardened against his.

"Edward and Alice are going to keep them gone for a few hours, sweetheart. No need to worry," he said with a seductive edge to his voice. His cold hands traveled down my back, sliding inside my shorts to cup my ass. I was glad that I had chosen to go commando after our impromptu shower this afternoon. The fewer clothes between Jasper and I, the better.

"Mr. Whitlock, are you trying to defile me?" I teased, running my tongue alone Jasper's ear before taking the lobe into my mouth and gently biting it. I moaned when his hands tightened and pulled me against his lower half hard, rubbing his erection against my core. I knew that I was already wet for him and that he could smell as well as feel my arousal. It only made me hotter.

"Bella dear, I'm going to do more than that. I'm going to absolutely ruin you for any other man," Jasper stated. He rose from the chair, pulling me with him. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist, locking my ankles behind him. The new position had my head right against his hard body, and I shivered at the pleasure that was starting to build within me.

I pulled back to look him in the eye. "You already have, darling," I said before crashing my lips to his. I felt him walking underneath me, but I didn't pay attention to my surroundings. It was impossible to notice anything other than Jasper's hands gripping my ass, moving me against him over and over again, savoring the feel of the friction it was causing both of us. Jasper and I explored each other before, but there was a new feeling to it knowing that we would be making love tonight. "I love you, Jasper," I whispered as I buried my head in his neck.

Jasper stopped his urgent movements and buried his own face in my neck, inhaling my scent. "I love you, Isabella. I love you so much more than I ever thought possible," he whispered. I felt a rush of air and before I knew it we were in our bedroom, the door slammed and locked behind us.

"I thought they wouldn't be home for hours," I teased Jasper as he walked us over to our bed. He caused us to both fall into the middle of it in a fit of laughter.

"Just in case, my dear. I would hate for Emmett to come in and interrupt us before I've gotten my fill of you," he answered.

"Don't you mean before I've gotten my fill of you," I purred into his ear while I pulled him closer against me with my legs that were still wrapped around him.

"God, Bella, you cannot say things like that to me," Jasper begged me. "It's going to be hard enough to fight my cravings for you, but I won't get through it with your dirty, little mouth." He rolled us over so that I was straddling his hips.

I giggled. "But Jasper, I already know that it's hard. And it's nothing that my dirty, little mouth can't help." I don't know when or how I had found this new courage that Jasper brought out in me, but I couldn't help myself. Whenever we were alone together like this, I was a completely different person from the shy, high-schooler who moved to Forks a year ago to live with her father. When I was with Jasper, I was simply a woman in love.

I ground my hips onto him as I leaned back, resting my hands on his chest. "You feel so good beneath me, baby," I said as I started bunching his shirt in my hands, pulling it up his chest. Jasper sat up slightly so that I could pull it over his head and toss it to the floor. Mine was next so quickly that I barely noticed as Jasper removed it. In that moment, we were both glad that I had decided against wearing a bra earlier this afternoon.

I laughed loudly as Jasper sprang forward and changed our position on the bed. He turned us so that I was on my back with him looming over me. I kept my legs locked around his waist, not wanting to separate just yet. He started kissing me at my mouth and worked his way down my body, stopping to suck each of my nipples into his mouth before continuing to my stomach. My legs fell onto the mattress when Jasper's cold hands yanked my shorts down and off my legs.

His head went in between my thighs instantly. I screamed out as I felt Jasper's tongue enter me in a powerful thrust. I bucked my hips against his mouth as I clutched the sheets of the bed. I could feel the muscles in his face as he smiled at my reaction and arched into his touch. His hands moved to my waist, holding me still underneath him. My legs involuntarily went over his shoulders as he moved his tongue back to press against my clit.

"Jazz!" My voice was low and husky as I cried his name. My fingers tightened their grip in his hair, pulling him closer to me. "Oh, God," I panted out. My head rolled to the side, resting on our pillow. I was fighting to keep my eyes open as I felt Jasper's tongue thrusting in and out of me. When his finger began rubbing my clit, joining his tongue in creating this sweet agony in my body, I exploded. I let out a loud cry as my back arched completely off the bed, causing me to sit up.

I could hear Jasper chuckle, but I was in such a daze that I had no response for him as he continued to lick my release from me. Once he was done, Jasper crawled up our bed and playfully shoved me back down onto the mattress. I realized that his pants had been taken off to reveal his thick erection. I couldn't wait any longer and pulled his body flush against mine, seeking his lips with my own.

I could taste myself on his mouth, but it only increased my need for him. Jasper's tongue battled against my own as I squirmed underneath him. I wrapped one of my legs around his hip, pulling his center into mine. Jasper's mouth broke away from my own and moved to my shoulder. He was taking a breath, calming himself down. I pounced. Without him knowing, I reached my hand down and enveloped his length.

"Bella!" I squeezed my hand around the head of his cock as his deep growl echoed through our room. I began pumping up and down, wrapping my leg tighter around him, digging the heel of my foot into his back. Jasper's head was still buried in my neck, kissing and sucking the sensitive flesh there. I knew he would leave a mark, but I couldn't be concerned at the moment.

I moved my free hand down between our bodies and dipped it into my core, allowing my wetness to coat my fingers. I moved the hand back to Jasper's shaft and smiled when his groans got louder. "Fuck, Bella," he cried out against my shoulder. His hips were thrusting into my hand, his cock rubbing against the inside of my thigh with each movement. "I need you, baby," I whispered into my ear as he sucked the lobe into his mouth.

"Take me, Jasper. I need you, too," I moaned. The sensation he was making against my thigh was almost too much for me to take. I opened my legs wider in invitation for him. Jasper moved slightly and I felt him position himself at my entrance.

"Bella, I can't help entirely with the pain, but I can try to calm you down to help alleviate some of it," he said. I nodded my head at him and felt a wave of calm wash over me instantaneously. My head rolled back as my lust and calm combined. I was in a form of euphoric bliss when I felt Jasper sheath himself inside me.

"Ugh!" I cried out as I was filled for the first time. It hurt as he broke my barrier, but his calming waves soon replaced the pain with pleasure. I felt Jasper's body tighten above me as he held still, letting me adjustor to his invasion. I looked up into his eyes and nodded my head for him to continue. With a deep kiss, Jasper pulled out and thrust into me again, moving my body up the bed.

We both panted as a wave of lust crossed between our bodies. I threw my arms around him, clutching his shoulders to pull him tighter against me. "More, baby," I commanded as my hips started to move against his. "Don't stop." He growled at my words and I felt him move faster, thrusting into me with more strength. He moved his hands down to my legs and wrapped them around his waist again, nestling his body in between them.

Our eyes were locked as our hips started slamming against each other. I could tell by the concentrated look on Jasper's face that he was holding back, trying not to hurt me. Reaching up to stroke his face, I leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "It's okay, Jasper. You won't break me. Go harder, and I'll tell you if we need to slow down." Jasper didn't make any movements to increase his force so I continued. "I trust you."

"I love you, Bella. Please tell me if I hurt you. I could never live with myself if I did," he begged me, resting his forehead on mine. He kissed me sweetly on my lips and I smiled when I felt his hips hit mine with more force.

"Oh, God, more," I begged again. My fingernails were digging into his shoulders as my legs clenched around him, pulling him further into my body. "More, Jasper, more."

He started moving faster and harder against me, trying to bring us both to our inevitable release. I felt his teeth lightly scrape the skin on my shoulder as he drove into me faster than any human ever could. His hand moved between us and started to rub my clit.

"Jasper, I'm so close, baby. I'm gonna cum again," I cried out to him in between panting breaths.

"Do it, Bella. Let go," he instructed. "I love you." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, I felt my orgasm rip through my body. My eyes rolled back into my head and my toes curled as I crashed my hips against his washed over him. Jasper didn't stop his thrusting. Instead, he started moving with more urgency.

Jasper's hand snaked around my left leg and pulled it up to rest over his shoulder. I screamed out his name at the new feeling of pulling him deeper inside me. I could still feel tingles on my body from my release when Jasper started rubbing my clit with more force. He plunged into me further and stopped to look down at my face. I smiled up at him before leaning forward to pull him into another lustful kiss.

Jasper took this response as a sign of approval and thrust into me again, deeper and harder than before. He became erratically fast, sliding in and out of me, filling me. His hands were on my hips now, pulling me onto him with every movement of his hips. When his mouth moved down to suck on my nipple, I felt another orgasm building up in me and knew that Jasper felt it too.

His eyes were darkening, showing me that he was close. Lust was overcoming both of our bodies, now glistening with a layer of sweat. "Bella," he growled, "I'm almost there. Cum with me, darling. Let me feel you cum again." His voice was muffled, his lips pressed against my chest. He was trying to hold back his thirst, his animal instincts. I reached down between us and cupped his balls in my hand, wanting him to feel as satisfied as I was.

His head snapped up and our eyes locked again. Without warning, his lips were on mine again, his tongue thrusting deep into my mouth, eliciting loud moans from me. He pumped into faster, harder. With each movement inside me, I felt him graze my clit, sending shivers through my body. As he bit down on my lips, another jolt of lust was sent through us and we both fell over the edge into a blissful state.

"Oh, God, Jasper!" I screamed his name again as I felt my walls contracting against him. I heard Jasper grunt my name when he came inside me. He kept up slow, soft thrusting until I was able to calm my breathing and I stopped shaking from my orgasm. Falling against me, Jasper wrapped his arms around, tucking me into his chest, never leaving my body.

"Bella," he whispered against my lips. "Bella, Bella, Bella," he repeated my name.

"Yes, Jasper?" I teased as my fingers played with the locks of his curly hair. I clenched myself around his semi-hard cock, eliciting a hiss from his lips.

"You are absolutely amazing, darling," he told me, dropping another kiss to my neck. "That was the most amazing experience of my entire existence," he vowed.

"Mine, too, honey," I said. I snuggled closer to his chest, leaving my legs wrapped around him, not wanting to be separated from him just yet. I knew that a time was coming when I would have no choice but to be apart from him, and I wasn't ready to deal with the harsh reality of our life yet.

"You should get some sleep, sweetheart," he advised as he shifted our bodies so that I was lying on top of him, still connected.

"You're right. I do need to get some sleep, because I'm going to want to do that again before I have to go to school in the morning." I smiled against his chest, feeling him hardening inside me before I drifted off into a content sleep, utterly exhausted by our lovemaking but also completely satiated.


	43. Working Together

_I hope you all liked the last chapter. I know that some of you didn't read it, because it was a lemon. But it was absolutely necessary, because it's important to see how mature Jasper and Bella's love is compared to Edward and Bella's relationship._

_This chapter is totally acceptable for all eyes and ears. No lemons._

_I want to try something new with this chapter, so it's going to be APOV (Alice.)_

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty-Three: Working Together

I'm not a peeping tom or anything, but I couldn't help myself. They both just looked so happy. When Jasper heard me open the door, he pulled their blanket around them to cover up any naughty bits that were exposed. Plus, it's not like I haven't seen them both naked before. I have given Bella countless makeovers, and I was with Jasper for half a century. There's no such thing as privacy in our family.

"Good morning," I whispered too lower for Bella to hear. I didn't want to wake her, because she looked truly euphoric. "Is she going to school today?"

"I don't have the heart to wake her up," Jasper answered honestly. His arm was wrapped around her shoulder, holding her to his side. Bella had her arm and leg draped over him, snuggling into his chest.

"Well, she's going to have a pop quiz in her French class today, so she should be there for fifth hour," I instructed my ex-husband. He chuckled at me and looked down into her face.

"I'll make sure that she's there by lunch, Alice. Can you have a note written up for her?" Jasper's hand began to stroke Bella's shoulder, causing her to sigh in her sleep and move closer to him.

"No problem." I turned to exit their bedroom but stopped short. "I'm happy for you two, Jasper. There is no other person in the world I would want to see you with. And I know that you're worried right now, Jasper, but I know that Bella's going to be okay. My visions haven't been spot on lately, but I know in my heart that my little sister will make it through just fine and then you two can live happily forever after."

I saw Jasper's face soften as he imagined what it would be like for him and Bella to have forever together. "Thank you," he whispered back to me before I shut the door behind me. Bella would be waking up in a few seconds, and I didn't want her to be embarrassed by my intrusion on their intimate moment.

I bounded down the stairs where Edward was waiting in the foyer. "She's going to meet up with us later," I announced, passing him and walked out the front door of our house. Emmett and Rosalie were sitting on the porch with Cameron and Esme. Carlisle had already left for the hospital today. I walked over to where Cameron was leaning against the porch railing and stood at his side. "What's on the agenda for today, family?"

"While you two are having a riveting time in school, Rose and I are going to accompany Esme and Cameron on a shopping expedition. It should be just as fun," Emmett sarcastically replied. None of our boys enjoyed going shopping with Rose, Esme, or me. They were as bad as Bella.

"Esme has convinced me that I need some new clothes and some personal affects to make myself feel more at home here," Cameron interrupted. "I'm still not comfortable being around so many humans and not drinking from them, so Rosalie and Emmett are going to come along in case Esme needs help restraining me."

"You went to malls before," Emmett explained. When Cameron said nothing, Edward answered for him, reading his memories.

"He quenched his thirst in private hallways and janitor's closets," he said bluntly. I smacked my brother across his chest before leaning up to kiss Cameron's cheek.

"Those days are over, darling. You'll do fine," I encouraged him. "Come on, Edward, we had better get going. Class starts in five minutes."

Edward and I both walked off the porch, leaving our home behind. I picked up the sounds of Bella waking up next to Jasper. I stopped listening when the whispered words turned into moans and panting. Edward stiffened beside me.

_What will help you, Edward? I hate to see you in pain._

"I honestly don't know, Alice. I thought about heading off for awhile, but I couldn't do that to Esme again. I know that we've already spoken about Jasper and Bella thinking about leaving Forks for her first years as a vampire, but I don't want to see them leave. I would miss her too much," Edward answered honestly. "I don't think anything can help; I just have to deal with it."

_You'll tell me if you need anything, and I'll let you know once they've decided to leave or stay._

Edward only nodded as we got into his Volvo and sped off towards Forks High School. We pulled into the lot, eliciting the same stares as we got every other morning. When everything suddenly got blurry, I scanned the crowd and found Jacob Black waiting for us. He was surrounded by a small group of freshmen girls trying to flirt with him. Edward laughed out loud and I looked at him with a questioning gaze.

"He's worried that Leah will read his thoughts later and beat him up for having all these girls around him," Edward explained. We climbed out of the car and walked over to Jacob, causing the girls that were lingering there to turn white as ghosts and leave. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Hello, Jacob," I said politely. "What brings you to our school today?"

"I was hoping to catch you without Bella around. Is she on her way?" he asked, looking back at our car and seeing no other person getting out.

"She won't be in until this afternoon," I explained truthfully. There was no way I was going to elaborate with the young werewolf on the reasoning behind his ex-crush staying home this morning. _Sorry, Jake, she's busy having crazy, hot sex with my ex right now._ I cringed as soon as I thought it, knowing that Edward had heard. I looked over at him with an apologetic smile.

Jacob caught my gaze and pounced. "Where is she? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Jacob," Edward answered this time. "She's spending some time with Jasper this morning. They have both been very worried this week that she'll get hurt. They wanted to be alone for awhile."

Jacob still had a curious look on his features, but I didn't want to answer anymore questions on Jasper and Bella's whereabouts. I started walking toward the school, knowing the boys would both follow. "So why did you need to speak with us without Bella present?"

"Well, I've been trying to perfect our plan for this upcoming fight, and I wanted to fill you in on some changes I've made," he said, turning into all business. "I know that we were originally going to get her crazy-ass mother involved, but I can't get in touch with her. Her cell phone is never turned on, and I doubt she knows how to check the voicemail yet."

"So what do you propose?" Edward asked.

"Well, I think we should involve your mother instead. We can't lose Jasper in the fight. He's too valuable of an asset for us. If we can just get your mother and maybe the blonde one to take her out of town for the weekend, we could take care of the other bloodsuckers while they're away," Jacob explained. His tone of voice made it sound so much more involved than it really was. It was a simple decoy tactic.

"Esme will help us, but Rosalie won't play a part in it," Edward responded. "She won't leave Emmett so close to a fight, and she's smarter than you think. She'll know that we have something planned."

"We can have Esme take Bella out of town for a shopping weekend. We'll tell her that Esme wants her to feel more at home as well and that she felt bad she couldn't go with them and Cameron today," I offered. "Bella will believe it; she knows that Esme loves her as her own."

"She's dated two of your brothers already. She should feel like part of the family," Jacob barked. His eyes were squinted in anger.

"She does, but you know Bella has insecurities about herself, especially now," I replied. Edward looked over at me, making sure I didn't reveal too much. That damn werewolf was too perceptive, though.

"What do you mean 'especially now'?" he asked.

"She's planning on becoming a vampire, Jacob. I know that she's set in her resolve, but it's still the biggest decision she'll ever make. I'm sure that no matter how determined she is that there are still some unanswered questions and concerns," I lied. We were inside the building now, walking toward Edward and mine's first class. There were only a handful of students lingering in the halls.

"Then maybe you shouldn't encourage her to become one," he retorted.

"We're not. This is Bella's decision," Edward interrupted.

"Yeah, I see that you don't go behind her back and make decisions for her," the werewolf replied. He was starting to shake with annoyance now. The school bell rang, signaling that first hour was starting.

"You know this is different, and you're doing the same thing," I reminded him. "You need to calm down, though. We're in public and late for class already."

"We'll work out the details with Esme. You just make sure that the pack comes to meet us tonight to practice technique with the newborns," Edward instructed before pulling me into our classroom, leaving Jacob standing alone with his thoughts in the school hallway.


	44. Getting into a Routine

_Alright, this is going back to BPOV for this chapter._

_I'm starting at the same place last chapter started, so that you don't miss any special moments between J and B._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty-Four: Getting into a Routine

I felt so at peace that I never wanted to move. I could feel Jasper's cold, hard body pressed against mine, his fingers dancing along my shoulder in gentle caresses. My eyes started to flutter open as he dropped a chaste kiss on my forehead.

"Good morning, gorgeous." I felt Jasper's breath against my ear. Having his voice as the first thing I heard in the morning was something that I would love getting used to.

I stretched like a cat, rubbing the entire length of my naked body against his. Finally allowing my eyes to fully open, I looked up at Jasper's chiseled face and smiled. Our lips met on instinct in soft strokes. Our kiss was not hard and demanding as it had been last night but sweet and tender. I moved my leg up to curl into Jasper's side further and winced at the movement.

"Bella, are you okay?" Jasper asked as he reached over and moved the blanket down my body to look at me. He gasped when he saw the fresh bruises on my hips and thighs from our lovemaking. "Darling, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you?" His hands moved down to softly caress the purplish marks on me.

"You weren't, Jasper. I didn't feel any pain when we were making love last night. And they don't really hurt now. I was just surprised at first, because I didn't know they were there." I could still see the guilt in his eyes as he continued to stare at the marks. "Jasper, trust me when I tell you that this is not the worst I've ever had. And it's natural since it was my first time."

"Bella, I just… I don't ever want to hurt you," he whispered to me.

"And you won't, unless you continue to eat yourself up with guilt over something that was inevitable." I knew that I had him right where I wanted him. He turned his face to look up at me and smiled softly. "I love you."

"I love you, Bella Swan. Always," he whispered before dropping another sweet kiss on my lips. "Thank you."

"For what?" I rested my head on his chest again and closed my eyes, enjoying our closeness and the intimacy of this moment together.

"For picking me," he answered. "For sharing something so special with me. Last night was truly the best night of my entire life. In all my years, I have never been happier or felt so close to someone."

"You picked me, too, Jasper. And you made last night special for me, too. I don't think it could've been any better, but I wouldn't mind more practice," I teased. He growled lightly at my insinuation. "I could skip school today, and we could spend hours in bed wrapped up together."

"That sounds perfect, darling, and any other day I would take you up on the offer. Alice informed me that you will have a pop quiz in French class today, so you should probably go to your afternoon classes. She already wrote you an excuse for your morning ones, though," he explained. I didn't need to look up to know that he had a predatory, sexy smirk on his face now.

"Well, we do have three hours until you need to get ready for school. I suppose we could find some ways to pass the time until then," Jasper purred as he moved so that he was hovering over me. I heard the front door close, signaling that Edward and Alice had just left for school. I didn't care where everyone else was as I began to be swept up in my boyfriend's deep kisses.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

I collapsed onto the bed next to Jasper, breathing heavily, still shaking from my fourth and latest orgasm. Jasper's arms snaked around my waist, pulling me to spoon against him. I glanced at the clock on our nightstand and noticed that I had an hour to get ready and get to school. We really had put the full three hours to use.

"We have plenty of time, darling," Jasper whispered against my skin as he placed a kiss on my shoulder blade. "We can take a few more minutes to calm down before you get ready and make yourself presentable."

"Jasper, it's going to take me more than a few minutes. A shower will help with the sweat and sex smell, but there is no way I will be able to wipe this goofy expression of my face. And I know that I'll be walking funny for the rest of the day," I teased.

"Damn school for getting in the way of our bedroom schedule," he teased back. "In seven months, you'll have graduated high school. You can take a year off, or we can turn you then and we'll head off on our own for awhile. No one will interrupt us."

I sighed. "That sounds nice, Jazz. We can go somewhere secluded while I adjust to being a vampire. We'll have privacy and less of a chance of me killing someone."

"You'll be a great newborn, Bella," he reassured me.

We both started to stir, knowing that we needed to end our blissful morning and get out of bed. I headed into our adjoining bathroom and stepped under the spray of the shower. Jasper thankfully didn't join me. If he would have, school would not be happening at all today. I emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later, still naked. Jasper had retrieved my backpack and excuse note from downstairs for me and was waiting on the bed. I noticed that he had also taken the opportunity to use the downstairs bathroom to get himself presentable. As if he ever couldn't be.

"Really, Bella, must you be so enticing?" Jasper threw himself back on our bed as I walked past him toward the closet. I couldn't help the giggle escape my mouth as I started searching through my clothes for an outfit to wear.

"Jasper, what are our plans for after school? Are we still meeting with the pack tonight?" I asked, wondering if I would need to grab my sweatshirt and coat for this evening.

"Yes, we're still meeting with them to discuss fighting strategy, but we'll have plenty of time between school and then for you to come back here and change if you need to," he answered. It amazed me that Jasper knew what I was thinking, even when he wasn't gauging my feelings.

"Alright. I will need to go home for awhile tonight, though. I haven't seen Charlie for a day or two. We can have dinner with him, and then I can do any homework that I missed this morning," I planned. I heard Jasper chuckle behind me when he saw the smirk cross my features, mentioning this morning.

I settled on a pair of jeans and a camisole. I pulled them on and grabbed one of Jasper's sweatshirts, throwing it on to complete my outfit. I inhaled and smiled when I found that it still smelled like him. This would make the next four hours bearable.

As we walked down the stairs, Esme and Cameron were walking into the house through the front door.

"Good afternoon, dears!" Esme called out to us. "How was your morning?" I couldn't stop the blush from rising on my face as I squeezed Jasper's hand in mine. Esme chuckled when she saw my reaction and smiled apologetically at me.

"Where were you?" Jasper asked, gesturing to the mounds of shopping bags on the floor by the bottom of the staircase.

"Oh, I took Cameron shopping today to get him some clothes and personal things for the house," Esme answered with a shrug. It amazed me how it meant nothing to them to drop thousands of dollars in one day of shopping. But if you had an eternity to live, you had an eternity to pay off credit card debt. "I was actually thinking that I could take you out this weekend for some mother/daughter time, Bella."

Jasper squeezed my hand, signaling to me that it was a good idea. I don't know what we would shop for, though. Alice already had an entire wardrobe for me in my bedroom. "That sounds nice, Esme."

"Okay, mom, I'm going to take Bella to school for the rest of the afternoon. I'm going to head out for a hunt when I return. Do you and Cameron want to come with?" Jasper asked as he started ushering me out the front door of the house.

"He's already out there with Emmett and Rosalie, darling, but I'll go with you," she replied. I noticed they shared a nod between them and before I could ask what it was about, Jasper had pulled me outside and toward his car.


	45. Family Ties

_I'm going to try to get the storyline moving along in the next few chapters, because I was rereading some of my latest ones and realized that there were a lot of great moments, but not a lot of action (besides the hot sex scene.)_

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty-Five: Family Ties

I closed my trigonometry book and shoved it into my backpack. It had only taken me an hour to finish all my homework from the classes I had missed this morning. Definitely worth it. I had spent the majority of the lunch hour dodging Angela's questioning of my whereabouts. I couldn't exactly tell her that I was too busy having hours of sex with my vampire boyfriend, could I?!

I think that Charlie knew something was up, too. After he scolded me for staying at the Cullens with Alice on a school night, he kept giving me curious glances throughout dinner. I asked him what was wrong, but he wouldn't say anything. He even offered to do the dishes once we were done with our chicken and mashed potatoes.

I had quickly retreated to my room, knowing that I would be able to see Jasper as soon as I was done with school work. I was just about to reach over to grab my cell phone off my nightstand when the lyrics pouring out of my iPod docking station caught my attention. I was listening to a play-list that Jasper had created for me of some of his favorite songs. It was currently playing "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. I couldn't help but think back to last night and this morning with Jasper.

There were definitely animalistic moments to our actions, but it was more than that. We had been connected in every way possible. It had been romantic and meaningful. Jasper had taken his time to make sure that I wouldn't be in any pain or have any regrets of my decision. I was glad that Edward and I had never made love, because being with Jasper was more special than I could have imagined. He would be my only. I was glad that I was able to give that gift to him.

My cell phone rang loudly, interrupting me from my thoughts. I looked down to see that it was Jasper calling and smiled widely. "Hi, baby," I said into the phone as I opened it and held it up to my ear.

"Esme and I just got home from hunting, and I couldn't wait to see you any longer. Is it okay if I come over now?" his deep voice came through the phone.

"We are so perfect for each other. I was just about to call you to come over. Charlie is fed, homework is done. I'm ready for some playtime with my boyfriend," I teased.

"I think that can be arranged," Jasper's voice was louder this time, closer. I turned toward my window in time to see him climbing inside. I threw my phone onto my bed and ran into his arms. He scooped me up as my arms went around his neck.

"Anxious, dear?" he teased as he dropped a hard, open kiss onto my lips. My fingers found their way into the soft curls at the back of his neck as his hands moved down to cup my ass, pulling me up so that I could wrap my legs around his waist. We didn't move from where we were standing near the window, just enjoying our reunion. Our lips continued to be demanding of each other until I started getting dizzy, needing to get more air to my lungs. I pulled back reluctantly.

"I missed you, Jasper. You're all I've been thinking about all afternoon," I told him as I snuggled my face into his neck. I felt him move underneath me, walking to my bed and taking a seat on the edge of it with me still wrapped around him in his lap.

"Me, too, darling. I had no idea that I could become so addicted to one person," he explained to me. I knew exactly what he meant. I didn't like being apart from him before we had made love, but now that we were even closer than before it was impossible to not be near him.

I was about to lean in for another kiss when we heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Jasper set me on the bed before hiding in my closet. I could barely contain my chuckles as Charlie knocked on the door.

"Bella, can I come in?"

"Yes, dad," I answered as I picked up my discarded cell phone and placed it on my nightstand again. "I was just finishing up my homework and was going to call Jasper."

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about Jasper, Bells," Charlie said from my doorway. He was looking at me with a shy smile, shifting on his feet.

"What about Jasper, dad?" I asked. I moved over on my bed, allowing him some room when he came over and sat at the foot.

"I saw how serious you and Edward were, and I'm pretty sure that you're the same with Jasper. I know that you really care about him, Bella. But you've been spending a lot of time over at their house; I feel like I never see you anymore." He paused, preparing himself to say something else. I felt so bad for Charlie, because he was obviously uncomfortable. "And I'm also still concerned with you staying over there. I know that you say you're staying with Alice, but I wasn't born yesterday, Bella."

"Dad…" I started.

"Bells, I don't want any details. Just promise me that you and Jasper think and are careful," he begged.

"I promise, dad," I whispered. "And I also promise to be around here more often from now on. How about I pick up some movies tomorrow after school and we can order a pizza?" I suggested.

"That sounds great, Bells. Invite Jasper, too. I would like to see more of him to get to know him better." Charlie stood from my bed and planted a kiss on my forehead. "I'm going over to Billy's now to watch the game. I'll see you in the morning." He walked out of my bedroom, and I could hear him walk downstairs and out of the house, locking the door behind him.

Jasper came out of my closet and sat next to me on the bed. I was on the verge of hyperventilating from my conversation with my father. He knew that I was no longer a virgin. He missed hanging out with me. I was such a horrible daughter. After everything I put him through last year, I was allowing myself to get so wrapped up in everything that was going on that I was neglecting my own family. If only there were a way to tell Charlie that I was trying to protect him right now. We all were.

"I want to tell him, Jasper," I whispered. "He deserves to know what's happening around him. And he needs to know what will happen to me after graduation. I won't be able to be around him for awhile, and I couldn't stand if he thought I was just rejecting him."

Jasper was quiet for a moment. I could tell that he was considering multiple options for this discussion. Before he could say anything, I continued.

"I know my father, and I know that he will love me even when I'm a vampire. He won't tell anyone. He has a right to know about the possible dangers that I've been putting him in this last year and a half."

"I understand, Bella. I know that you want to be able to let him in on this secret, and I do agree that he should know the dangers involved. It's just not the right time. We need to take care of Victoria and her newborns first. We have too much on our plate already without having to worry about Charlie's reaction to our family's true identity. That's not even mentioning that we're going to turn you into one of us."

I nodded but didn't speak. I knew he wasn't done. He had his arm around my shoulder, an action that had become habit with both of us.

"We'll need to discuss it with the others, Bella. It's not only your decision. You need to understand that as well. We've been letting you call the shots an awful lot lately against our better judgment. We're so scared of losing you that we're willing to let you make all the decisions, but you shouldn't be," Jasper admitted.

My head snapped up to look into his eyes. His face was mature with worry. Jasper and I had become so close that I could sense he was frustrated with the turn our conversation and moods had taken.

"Bella, we've lived through a lot. We have more experience than you. I know that Edward treated you like a child, and that it was uncalled for. I never want to treat you that way, but you need to realize that anything we do is for your safety. We all love you so much and just want to make sure that you are protected, because it would be complete torment for us if anything were to happen to you," he explained.

"Jazz, I know that you all have more life experience than me and that you do make decisions with my best interest at heart, but I have enough insecurities with myself without having to be constantly reminded that I am the weakest link in our family. I hate being helpless," I whispered.

"I'm telling you this, because I love you, Bella. I don't want to hurt you or make you feel worse about yourself, but I can't keep secrets from you either." Jasper stopped, and it looked like he was thinking of how to word something correctly. This was not good. "Some of us have decided that you are not going to be a part of this fight, and we're going to do anything to stop you from being there."


	46. Unraveling

_Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter out. I've been really busy with real life. Work, concerts, general trying to stay afloat. Real Life is kicking my ass right now, and this is my only escape. Instead of just crunching out a bunch of chapters, I'd rather take my time making each one exactly that way I want it to be._

_Some of the plot/lines were taken from Chapter 18 of Eclipse, but I'm not delving so much into the schematics of the fighting until we get to the actual fight scene chapter. (Whenever that may be.)_

_Also, I am ecstatic to announce that LTLA has been nominated for the Indies Twific Awards! I am so flattered and thankful to whoever nominated me. If you like the story and want to vote, please go here: __._

_This chapter is from EPOV._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty-Six: Unraveling

_Edward, he told her_

Great, just great. It wasn't bad enough that we were trying to protect my ex-girlfriend- whom I was still in love with- from a deranged nomadic vampire, but now I was going to have to deal with her attitude as well. I looked over at my sister and shrugged my shoulders to her. There was nothing we could do now.

I heard Jasper and Bella approach the clearing. His thoughts were louder than his quick footsteps.

_Dammit, why didn't I just keep my mouth shut? Because I'm weak when it comes to her, that's why. Now she's pissed and hurt, and I have no clue how to talk myself out of this one. How the hell did Edward used to do this?_

I chuckled to myself. Jasper hadn't been with Bella long. He didn't know that there was really no logical way to reason with her. It seemed he would be finding out soon enough, though. This would be their first fight.

As they entered the clearing, Bella jumped off Jasper's back and jogged over to where Emmett and Rosalie were standing. She threw herself into Emmett's arms and started crying. His face was that of shock, but he wrapped her into a hug, offering the comfort that only a big brother could give. Bella mumbled for a moment into Emmett's shoulder, explaining to them what had happened.

Rosalie looked over to me and Jasper who was now by my side with Alice. We all looked down as her face changed from confusion to anger. She really had become closer with Bella these past few weeks and was upset that we would keep something from either of them.

_I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? Emmett and I have never been anything extraordinary to our family. Why wouldn't you three exclude us from your masterful plan that is currently blowing up in your damn faces?_

I shook my head, trying to show Rosalie that we weren't thinking like that at all. Before I could go over and explain, the wolves entered the clearing. I approached the one in the lead, knowing this was Sam.

_We thought it would be easier to understand how to fight the newborns if we were phased. We also need to acquaint ourselves with each of your scents so that we can distinguish you from the other vampires during the fight._

"That's a great idea. I'm embarrassed that I didn't think of it myself," I acknowledged. "I know that you all have families and normal lives to get back to, so let's just get started right now." I waited until the rest of our family had walked over to us before I continued. "Jasper has had a lot of experience with newborns and knows their strengths and weaknesses. He will be able to instruct you on the best way to take them out."

_Bella, please, baby, just look over at me. Just give me a smile so I know that you'll be able to forgive me._

Jasper was otherwise preoccupied, so I cleared my throat and nudged him with my elbow. "Jasper, please."

He shook his head, finally tearing his gaze away from where Bella was still wrapped in a hug with Emmett. Her sobbing had slowed to a sniffle now, and her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Unfortunately, it was not the first time I had seen her like this because of me. I noticed the pained look on my brother's face before he stood up straight and turned to address the wolves.

"Thank you for agreeing to help us in this battle. I know that our staying here is more than just an inconvenience for you, but I truly do appreciate your assistance." Jasper paused and swept his eyes over to Bella again. She was watching him now, from underneath Emmett's arm. Jasper's face lit up before he turned back to address all of us. _The sooner we get this done, the sooner I can gravel._

The wolves stayed back a few yards, all sitting back on their haunches in relaxed positions. Except for one. I noticed one of the larger with russet-colored hair edging closer to where Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella sat together on an overgrown tree root. They had moved to sit on the root when the pack came into the clearing, putting distance between them and our larger group.

"Back off, Jacob," I heard Bella hiss at one of her closest friends. He retreated with a whine, going to take his place next to a smaller, darker wolf. I recognized that it was Leah as she nuzzled into his side.

Alice came to my side and reassuringly squeezed my shoulder while Cameron stayed close behind her. He was watching Jasper with great interest. Carlisle and Esme were standing closest to Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella. Carlisle was looking at me with a questioning expression across his face. Esme was too concerned with Bella, watching her with worry. There would be plenty of time to explain ourselves later.

"Let's get down to business," he announced. "First of all, newborn vampires are very different from us. They have close to no control of themselves. They're strong, fast, and go for an easy kill. The most important thing to do is to avoid letting them get their arms around you. Stay constantly moving to keep them off track. They won't be able to concentrate and you can slip in for the kill."

"Emmett, will you come up here and we can demonstrate," Jasper asked, turning to look over at our brother. He stood up straight, easing Bella out of his arms and into Rosalie's instead. She looked so fragile with her glazed over expression and dried tear streaks down her cheeks.

"Gladly, brother," Emmett said with an edge to his voice. _If I have to deal with a pissed off Rosalie and depressed Bella, I want to be able to get a few licks in to you assholes_.

"Emmett, it's not what you think," I tried to mumble to him.

"Not now, Edward," Rosalie hissed from the distance. I nodded my head toward her in understanding.

Emmett walked to stand a few yards from Jasper. "Emmett relies on his strength for fighting," Jasper began. "I will show you how to get past their strength in order to gain the upper hand." Jasper nodded his head to Emmett, signaling him to try to get him.

Emmett lunged forward toward Jasper, and I had to stifle a laugh. Our brother truly was not one for subtlety. His obvious advance was easily avoided by Jasper who was able to slide out of his grasp. Behind me, Jasper was the fastest of our family. Emmett cursed as he fell forward a third time, missing Jasper by a foot.

They both stood and locked eyes. Jasper recoiled with a shocked gasp escaping his lips before Emmett turned and went back to sit with Rosalie and Bella.

"Jasper?" I whispered.

_Edward, I think we've made an even bigger mess of our situation. I've never seen him look so vulnerable or betrayed. And he feels even worse. Almost as bad as Bella._

"What's the hold up, boys?!" Rosalie yelled. She had stood from the tree root and had her hands on her hips, looking at us with a frustrated expression on her face. "It would be nice to move this along so that Bella can go home and get some sleep, you know."

"Yes, Rosalie, I am aware that my girlfriend needs to sleep," Jasper retorted, taking a long stride toward her. "I don't need you telling me what Bella does or does not need."

"Obviously, Jasper. You seem to know her so well that you have managed to screw your relationship up within the first month," Rosalie antagonized. She took another fluid step forward. "Congratulations."

"Shut your mouth, Rose," he warned. "You have no clue what you're talking about."

"Don't talk to her like that," Emmett joined in with a loud growl. He had stood and placed Bella behind him. He was obviously looking for a fight. Before I could take a step forward to mediate, Esme did.

"Children, please. We can speak about this later. I'm sure that Sam and his pack don't appreciate seeing us quarrel and wasting their time," she urged. She had moved to stand beside Jasper and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. Carlisle was doing the same for Rosalie.

"You're right, Esme," Jasper said softly. "I'm sorry," he spoke as he turned to the wolves. "Cameron, would you please come up here to demonstrate as well?"

With that, the lesson was pushed forward. Cameron and Jasper sparred for what seemed like hours. Jasper was able to avoid all attacks but one. Jasper had gotten distracted when Bella had fallen off the tree root and looked over to her to make sure she was okay. Cameron had been able to get a bite in.

It was hard to gauge who was more worried in that moment. Jasper or Bella. I knew that they would be okay and that they would work out their problems. I only hoped that I would be able to as well.


	47. An EyeOpener

_Sorry it took so long to get this posted. I had the best of intentions last week to get it up for you, but I got distracted by shopping. I know, I sound like Alice._

_I did want to let you all know that I will be starting another fic as well. It's untitled as of now, but it's going to be Emmett/Bella. It's going to be rated M just to be safe. I am going to try to concentrate on more humor in it instead of angst, but I'll have to throw some of that in there as well. If you want to check it out, I should have the first chapter posted soon._

_Also, I am ecstatic to announce that LTLA has been nominated for the Indies Twific Awards! I am so flattered and thankful to whoever nominated me. If you like the story and want to vote, please go here: __._

_We're switching back to BPOV._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty-Seven: An Eye-Opener

"Are you sure that it doesn't still sting, Jasper?" I asked for about the tenth time as we walked toward my house. We were taking our time, both of us wanting to be with each other, both knowing and dreading the conversation that was going to happen once we were back in my bedroom.

"It's fine, Bella, I promise. I've had much worse, darling, but thank you for being so worried," he replied as he dropped a kiss on my forehead. I felt Jasper's cold arm wrap around my shoulder, pulling me into his side.

I sighed before responding. "Jasper, of course I worry about you. I love you, but I'm just so angry with you right now. And Edward. And Alice. And Jacob," I told him, honestly.

"Why not Esme?" he asked. I didn't look up at him, but I knew that he would have his eyebrow raised in a questioning gesture.

"Esme was acting as a protective mother," I said with a shrug of my shoulders. "Mine would do the same, if not something more extreme."

"So Esme can be protective of you, but I can't?" he asked.

I sighed again. We were still a couple blocks from my house, but I was thankful that it was late. There was minimal lighting from the street lamps that we were passing so I wasn't completely blind. There was silence throughout the neighborhoods, everyone else in Forks having gone to sleep hours ago. Lucky bastards didn't have to traipse around the woods worrying about battle moves to defeat a small army of vampires.

"Jasper, I would never expect you to not worry about me. We love each other. That comes along with it. Honesty does, too, though. If we're going to be together and make this work then I need to know that you will always be truthful with me, and that you will always discuss things with me instead of going behind my back to make decisions for me," I explained.

"I thought that you knew that. And I'm so hurt right now, because I never expected you to do anything like this. You were basically working with the people closest to me to try and trick me." My voice was rising with my emotions, but I couldn't control myself right now. "How am I supposed to trust you?"

Jasper stopped walking and pulled me to where I was standing directly in front of him. He moved his hands to frame my face, making me look into his eyes.

"Bella, if nothing else, you can trust me. I love you more than I ever believed I could love someone, and you should know that I would do anything for you. Always," he vowed.

I could feel a few stray tears fall down my cheeks at his declaration. "Deep down, I know. I'm just hurt that you went behind my back with my friends." I turned from him and started walking again. We stayed like that for the rest of the walk home. Neither of us spoke, Jasper following a couple yards behind me.

When we got to my front porch, I walked up the steps and turned to look at him. "I need to be alone tonight, Jasper. I'll see you tomorrow after school." I leaned down and kissed his forehead before turning back to my front door. When I grabbed the handle, I paused. "I love you," I whispered without looking back. As I shut the door behind me, I heard the three words whispered back.

I stood leaning against the door for a moment and was grateful when I heard my father's loud snoring. He was still fast asleep, so if I could manage to make it up the stairs without falling I would be in the clear. I let my eyes adjust to the dark house and slowly made my way up the stairs. The silence in the house was deafening, and I was barely able to keep my concentration on the task at hand.

As I was halfway up the stairs, I noticed that my cheek was wet. I lifted my hand to my face and stopped in surprise. I hadn't even noticed that I was crying again. Frustrated with myself, I continued up the stairs and walked slowly to my bedroom. I stopped before opening the door, listening for Charlie's snores of confirmation that he hadn't heard me. Once I was satisfied that he was still fast asleep, I walked into the dark room and fell onto my bed.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" I asked as I caught a glimpse of him sitting in the rocking chair that I still had in my room. Up until last year, he had spent so many nights in that rocking chair, watching over me as I slept.

"I wanted to explain myself to you," he answered simply.

"You don't have to, Edward. I'm not your girlfriend anymore; you can do whatever you want to do," I said. I rolled onto my side, facing away from Edward. I kicked off my shoes, letting them fall to the floor of my room.

"I am doing what I want, Bella," he insisted. "I want to have a discussion with you."

"In my bedroom? In the middle of the night? Do you think Jasper would appreciate that, Edward?" I asked him. I sat up on my bed and faced him. I was exhausted, angry, and hurt. If he wanted to put up with me at my current state, fine. We would do this.

"We can be trusted, Bella. Jasper will understand," Edward stated. I knew he was right. Neither of us would do anything to hurt Jasper, but I was hoping that would've at least made him more uncomfortable. I should've known better.

"So let's do this, Edward. Go ahead and explain yourself."

"First of all, I think that I have been extremely understanding since my return, so I would appreciate it if you cut the attitude," he ordered. My face whipped around to his in shock. Edward had never spoken to me like that. He could see the shock and hurt on my face, and he immediately tensed. "I didn't mean that to come out so harshly, but I'm frustrated with your recent behavior."

"Why? I've always argued with you, Edward." I adjusted on the bed, sitting with my legs crossed so that I could face him directly.

"Bella, you have argued your point, because you're strong-willed. But you have never acted like a know-it-all or picked a fight with me," he replied. "It's not just me, either. I heard you yelling at Jasper outside. I know that you feel betrayed by our actions, but you have to understand why we did what we did."

My face fell. Of course, I knew. I wasn't a child. I understood their need to protect me at all costs. But I also understood my need for self-preservation. "Edward, you know me so well. Why are you asking that?"

"I can't read your mind, darling," he teased. He stood from the rocking chair and moved to sit on my bed. We both just looked at each other for a moment. This was a familiar position for us, but instead of the desire we used to feel for each other it was now merely awkward.

I chuckled before continuing. "My favorite thing about Jasper is that he accepts me as I am, and he doesn't expect me to live up or down to standards that he sets for me without my permission or opinion. Going behind my back because he thinks he knows what is best for me is the exact opposite of that. I love him so much that it scares me. In the past year, I never once believed that I wouldn't spend eternity with you. But now I know that I won't. I belong with him; I belong with him forever."

"You've been through a lot recently, partially because of me," Edward said with guilt lacing his voice. I moved my hand to rest on top of his on my comforter.

"We're past that already, Edward," I stated. "I just don't want anything to go wrong with mine and Jasper's relationship. I am already so paranoid and so self-conscious, that I cannot afford to be constantly wondering if he's keeping something from me. And the same applies to you, Alice, and Jacob. I love all of you in different ways, and I feel inferior to all of you in different ways."

"Bella, there's no need to feel inferior. You are the most amazing person that I have ever met in my entire existence. I know that Jasper feels the same way. Alice loves you as if you were already her sister, and so do Rosalie and Emmett. You know that Carlisle and Esme have already adopted you as their own. And Jacob's feelings… well, they've changed recently but have not lessened."

"I know all that, Edward, but I just can't hold onto it for long. What about when the ball drops? What about when Jasper realizes that I'm nothing special. What about the day that he leaves me? I've gone through that once, and I cannot do it again. As much as I love him, and as much as I've thrown myself into our relationship, I have to continue to protect myself. That means sticking up for myself and making my own decisions. It's the only ounce of control that I have in my life right now," I whispered. I hung my head, concentrating on the pattern of my carpeting.

"You silly human," I heard from the doorway. My head snapped up toward the window to be met with Jasper's intense gaze. "Here you are feeling inferior to us when it's really the other way around."

"I'll leave you two to discuss this further," Edward whispered. He stood from the bed and dropped a kiss to my forehead before jumping from the second story window without a sound.

Jasper walked into my bedroom, pulling the door closed behind him. "May I?" he asked, gesturing to the bed. When I nodded, he came and sat beside me. "Do you want to change into your pajamas, darling?" I nodded again but made no move. Jasper smirked before standing and going to my dresser. He pulled out one of his tee shirts that I had started collecting. I didn't do it on purpose, really. They just sort of stayed behind after he left.

He came back to the bed and I slid off my jeans without speaking. Jasper's hands went to the bottom of the shirt that I was currently wearing and lifted it off me. I stood so that I was flush up against him and unhooked my bra. Jasper's hands went to the straps to remove it from my body. Once it was on the floor, we just stood there. I let Jasper take in the sight of me before him, waiting for his next move.


	48. Reassurances in the Night

_I know, I know._

_I've been neglecting this story for Emmett's Undoing. Can you blame me, though?! Emmett's hot, too. He and Jasper are hot in their own, delicious ways._

_Oh yeah, I'm warning you right now… this chapter has some lemony goodness to it. Enjoy! ___

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty-Eight: Reassurances in the Night

I couldn't move. I could barely even breathe as Jasper stood in front of me, motionless. I was standing in only my underwear, and they didn't cover much. I was wearing a pair of black low-rise boy shorts that Alice had recently bought for me. She had been vamping up my underwear drawer the last few days. I have no clue when she did this, but I was thankful for it none the less.

"Jas—" I started, not able to bear the silence.

"Shh, Bella," he whispered. He moved his face closer to mine and placed a soft kiss on my forehead, then my cheek. He stopped at my neck, dropping a kiss and a lick on my sensitive skin. "No more speaking, darling. Tonight I get to worship you and show me just how much you mean to me. I'll make you squirm under my touch, and in the morning there will be no more doubt in your mind about our relationship."

I didn't argue. I couldn't argue with that. I had wanted to spend the evening alone, wallowing in my own insecurities. I could see that would not be happening and was thrilled that my vampire boyfriend had his own plans for us.

"That sounds perfect, Jasper, but let me see you," I begged. "I want to do my own worshipping," I stated as my hands pulled on the hem of his shirt, pushing it upward. I scraped my fingernails down his abs, turning my hands to slide underneath his jeans and boxers. I felt his muscles tense under my hands and smiled.

"I'll make you a deal, Bella dear," he replied with a bargaining edge to his voice. I waited. "I'll strip down for you if you promise me that you'll be a good girl and let me take control tonight. I get to do what I want, when I want."

I rolled my eyes at his request. Had it even been vice versa?! I mean, I was the inexperienced one here. "Deal."

As soon as the word was out of my mouth, I felt my body being lifted and laid gently onto my bed. I started breathing heavily with excitement, my chest rising and falling before Jasper's eyes. They had darkened, and I knew that he was getting caught up in his own desire as well. He stood back, raking the dark eyes over my body appreciatively.

Jasper stayed at the foot of my bed, watching me as he moved his hands to the bottom of his shirt. My house was completely silent as I watched his slow movements, biting my bottom lip in anticipation of what was to come. He pulled the shirt over his head and threw it to the ground. The moonlight coming through my bedroom window reflected off his skin, sparkling like he was in the sunlight.

He moved his hands to jeans and unzipped them, letting them fall to the ground. He stepped out of them and crawled onto the bed, hovering over me. Jasper placed a long, slow kiss on my hipbone, right above my panties. He moved his mouth to my belly button, giving it the same treatment. Underneath my breast was neck. Jasper paid special attention to that area, leaving a mark that only he and I would ever see. After he was satisfied with the mark, he moved to my nipple, eliciting a groan from deep in my throat.

He sucked on the peak, taking it into his mouth. I could feel his teeth softly grazing my breast and knew that Jasper would pull back soon enough. He was cautious of when his mouth was on me, making sure that his fangs didn't penetrate my skin.

As I predicted, he moved his kisses up across my shoulder and to my neck. I sighed as I felt his tongue against the vein in my throat. I moved my hands to clutch his shoulders, scratching his back to pull him up against me.

"Bella, you're supposed to just lay there and let me have my wicked way with you," Jasper whispered against my ear before flicking his tongue inside.

"I am, Jasper, but it's not right to expect me to not touch you. You're too amazing," I said, moving my hands down his back to rest on his hips.

"Alright, I guess I'll permit that," he whispered again. He moved his lips onto mine and thrust his tongue into my mouth. I got lost in the feeling of his tongue battling with my own. I didn't even notice that Jasper moved my leg so that it was wrapped around his waist until I felt his erection thrusting against my center. I bit his lip to stop myself from screaming, remembering that my father was sleeping down the hallway.

"Oh, God, Bella. I can feel how wet you are even through my boxers," he said as his mouth lowered to my neck again. He had one hand fisted in my hair while the other skimmed down my stomach and stopped at the top of my panties. With a quick move, he ripped them from my body and tossed them aside.

"You've got to stop doing that, baby. I'll have none left to wear," I said with a chuckle before grinding my hips against his.

"That's my plan. First the panties, then the bras," Jasper teased me before lowering his head from my face down to my other nipple. He gave it the same attention that he had given my other one just a moment ago. He bypassed my stomach this time and moved right to my heat, letting my leg fall from his body to the bed.

My head fell back in pleasure and my eyes closed from their own volition. I felt Jasper's tongue lick up my slit and then stop at my clit. I felt him press against it and squirmed to try to get closer to him. His hands moved to my hips, holding them still as his tongue entered me.

I turned my head and bit the pillow, stifling the scream that I felt rise from my throat. My breathing was coming quicker as I felt Jasper's tongue thrust in and out of me, stopping to flick my clit every few times. Unconsciously, my hands moved to his head where I grabbed two fists of his hair, pulling him closer to where I need him.

I could pinpoint the moment where Jasper lost control and started tonguing me quicker and harder. My head was spinning from the feelings he was causing my lower half. There was a pressure building in me, ready to snap at any moment. I moved one of my hands from his hair to pinch and tug one of my nipples, feeling so close and needing something to push me over the edge of my orgasm.

It happened when Jasper's finger entered me, pressing against my g-spot while his tongue flattened against my clit again. My mouth opened and I was proud of myself for releasing a silent scream as to not wake my father with my sex trysts. I could feel my release as my legs started to shake. I couldn't hold back a smile as Jasper looked up at me from between my legs. He had a predatory smirk on his face.

He let me calm down before removing his finger from my body and climbing up the bed to be eye-level with me. He kissed me hard before moving us so that he was lying behind me, spooning me against him. I reached back and started tugging down his boxers, needing to feel him against me, needing to give him the same pleasure he gave me. Once I had them tugged down to his knees, Jasper kicked them the rest of the way off and I pounced.

My hand was instantly at his erection, rubbing my finger along the tip, spreading the venom down his thick shaft. Knowing that he loved it so much the first time I had done it, I dipped my hand between my legs, coating it with my cum and moved back to Jasper's dick. I rubbed the wetness along his length, tightening the grip on him when I reached the head.

"Bell—ugh," Jasper whispered against my shoulder blade. He thrust against my backside as I continued to pump my hand up and down him, squeezing the head every time. "I need to be inside of you, baby," he practically begged.

"So do it, baby. I need you, too," I whined out as he thrust against me again.

I felt his hand move down to my left leg, pulling it up so that I was spread for him. He moved lower on the bed, positioning himself against my entrance. With a long, slow thrust he was inside of me. I moved against him, enticed by the way this new position felt. I loved being so intimate with Jasper, able to try anything with him and not being ashamed.

I felt him start thrusting in and out of me, and I pushed back against him to get more friction where I needed it. I reached back again and clutched his hip, digging my nails in as he slammed into me. Jasper's hand moved to my clit, rubbing circles around it. "Make me cum, baby," I begged him. "Please make me cum again."

"Oh, I will," he said with a low growl. He moved us so that I was on my knees in front of him, giving him more access to me with his hands. The hand that wasn't working my clit moved to my hip, pulling me back harder against him. I could feel my entire body shaking with pleasure as Jasper continued to drive in and out of me, bringing us both to release.

He moved his lips to my shoulder blade and sucked on the skin there, nuzzling his face into me. Another long, hard thrust into me and twist of my clit and I was falling over the edge again, my body slumping and falling onto the bed. Jasper was still behind me, thrusting into my core, seeking his own release. As my muscles tightened around him, he groaned into my shoulder and I felt him cum inside of me. His own body twitched in pleasure as he fell onto me.

"Jas—oh my Go—" I was having trouble getting enough breath to speak. I was gasping for air, not only from my boyfriend lying on top of me but from the two orgasms I had just had. "That was amazing," I managed to whisper.

"Amazing doesn't even begin to describe it, darling," he replied. I felt him lift his weight off me and move on the bed. A second later, I was rolled over to face him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him. I could feel his now flaccid penis against my thigh and knew that in the morning we would both be ready for another round to show our love to each other.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as my lips kissed his chest. "I know to trust you; I know not to doubt you."

"Bella, I don't want you to apologize to me. I just want you to understand," he whispered back, nuzzling his face into my hair.

"I do, Jasper. I understand where you're coming from. I'll go along with the plan."

"Thank you," he said with a sigh of relief as he pulled me tighter to him.


	49. It's All Downhill From Here

_Alright, I'm sorry I haven't gotten to update this for awhile. __Emmett's Undoing__ is kinda getting all my ideas for now. I'm trying._

_It's been a hard week. I had a death in the family, and I'm also having some serious "me" issues. So if this sucks, sorry._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Forty-Nine: It's All Downhill From Here

This was not good. I was late for school again. As I predicted, Jasper and I were both ready for another round this morning, needing to feel our closeness as much as possible. Jasper had heard Charlie leave early for work and had immediately pounced. I didn't complain. I had only missed my first class, so it was better than the last time this had happened.

Jasper and Edward were scouting the woods, trying to pick up the scents of any newborn vampires that Victoria had working for her. They were hoping to take a few out before the upcoming fight. Cameron had wanted to go with them but we thought it best he lay low. Victoria already wanted revenge on him; he should try to stay out of harm's way. Rosalie and Alice were probably coddling him anyway, helping him get situated in the house and their new lifestyle.

Emmett had volunteered to be my chaperone to school today. And that's where I was now. We were pulling into the parking lot in his monstrosity of a car. Normally the radio would be blaring; however, this morning Emmett chose to tease me mercilessly instead.

"You know, Bella, I could write you an excuse for your teacher," he said with a smirk on his face. "I could just explain that you had to spend the morning in bed." I knew he wouldn't stop there. "Humping my brother like crazy."

"You're one to talk, Emmett. I know what you and Rosalie do to pass the time," I replied back.

"Touché," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. "So what's it like, Bella? Having sex with a vampire?"

"You tell me," I said. I could feel the blush rising on my face. Even amidst all the impending doom, he could find ways to tease me. I was thankful for it. He was trying to put my mind at ease. And also entertain himself.

"That doesn't count. I'm one myself." He stopped for a moment as he whipped the Jeep into a parking space near the front exit. I noticed a few students staring out of the corner of their eyes. Great, what rumors would be starting about me and Emmett today?!

"I'm not talking with you about this, Emmett. It's none of your business," I said as I reached into the back to grab my backpack.

"Come on, Bella. I'm your big brother. If you can't talk to me about this stuff, who can you talk to?!" I'll give him credit. He was trying awfully hard.

"Jasper," I said with a shrug.

"What?! You can't talk to Jasper about having sex with him!" Emmett yelled, too loudly for my liking. I saw heads turn toward us and knew that everyone in school would know by the end of the day that Jasper and I were having sex. Just what I needed right now.

"Shut up, Emmett!" I yelled back. "I tell Jasper everything, so yes I can talk to him about it. And thanks to you, all I'll be doing for the rest of the day is talking about Jasper and I having sex now. Or trying to avoid it anyway." I opened the door and jumped to the ground, slamming it shut behind me. Damn him!

I stormed to the building, passing my peers with my head down. Of course, we had to arrive right as everyone was outside, walking to their second hour class. Great timing. I walked into the building but not before I heard Lauren behind me. I couldn't make out her entire sentence, but the words 'home-wrecking slut' were heard loud and clear.

I sat through second hour in a daze. I have never really cared what people thought about me, but it still hurt to know that they were judging me behind my back. I had expected it from Lauren. She was a bitch. But I just hoped that Angela and Jessica would look beyond her cruel words long enough to hear my side of the story.

I found out at lunch. My human group of friends was all sitting at their table by the time I walked into the cafeteria. I grabbed some fruit and a soda and walked over to the table. I was terrified. I had been up against a crazy vampire and was being hunted by a group of newborn vampires, but neither were scarier than high school.

As I approached, I saw Lauren's eyes narrow in my direction. Eric and Mike both started blushing and couldn't make eye contact with me. Tyler and Jessica just smirked. Angela was the only one who didn't react. She moved her chair over to allow me room beside her, between her and Mike.

"Hi, Bella," she said in her gentle voice. I smiled at her and nodded my head. I was worried that my voice would crack if I tried to reply.

"Bella, when were you planning on telling me?" Jessica half whispered across the table to me. I looked at her with a blank expression. Maybe I could play dumb.

"Jessica, that's none of our business," Angela tried to be discreet in whispering to Jessica but unfortunately the entire table already knew what she was talking about.

"Oh, come on, Angela, like you don't want to know. I know that you used to have a crush on Jasper," Jessica said, dismissing our friend. She turned toward me again. "Spill. Was it amazing?"

"Jessica, my relationship with Jasper is private. You know that I've never been one to like the spotlight," I said with a shrug of my shoulder. I was praying that they would let this slide.

"Isn't it weird?" Lauren decided to throw her two cents in. "You were with his brother for almost a year. Now you're suddenly with Jasper and already sexing it up with him. Aren't you worried about what people will think? Or if they'll end up hating each other?" I didn't appreciate that her tone became accusatory toward the end of her questioning.

"Lauren, you don't know anything about Edward, Jasper, or me," I said with an edge to my voice. I normally wouldn't bite back to her comments, but I was getting very frustrated with her. She was always trying to judge me but never turned it around on herself. "For your information, Edward is extremely happy for Jasper and me. Jasper and Edward are getting along fine. And I'm completely in love with Jasper. Does that answer all your questions? Or are you even more wrapped up in my life instead of your own?"

I stopped my rant and noticed that all my friends were staring at me in shock. Mike and Angela both had smirks on their faces, obviously glad that someone had finally put Lauren in her place. Eric and Tyler were both silent in their seats, not wanting to be involved. Jessica and Lauren were sharing looks of bewilderment. Maybe I used too many big words.

"Yeah, Bella, your life is so interesting. Like I care," Lauren said with a flip of her hair. I shit you not. She actually flipped her hair. "Where is your little posse today anyway? Don't you usually eat with them?'

"Their family went camping," I said automatically. It was the candid excuse to use when there was good weather outside.

"So why did Emmett drop you off this morning?" Jessica asked.

"Jeez, Bella, are you screwing him too?!" Lauren said, raising her voice. The tables around us all turned to look at me, and I immediately felt my cheeks get hot.

"That's enough, Lauren," Mike said as he stood from his seat. He grabbed my arm and pulled me up with him. "Come on, Bella, let's go."

I followed him without thinking, without looking back. My face was still flushed and I could feel tears forming in my eyes as we made it out of the cafeteria into the quad. I stopped walking and just stared out at the forest. I knew that Emmett was out there somewhere, looking after me. Jerk. It was his fault this was happening anyway.

"Thanks, Mike, but I think I'm just going to head home. I don't really want to put up with everyone staring at me all day long," I whispered, not turning to look at my friend.

"Bella, I know that it hurts, but you can't let that bitch get to you," he said, trying to cheer me up.

"I know, but I really just don't want to deal with this right now." I walked away from Mike, shrugging my backpack onto my shoulder as I walked across campus toward the parking lot. I didn't bother to look for Emmett, because I knew that he would be close behind me. He had probably taken his Jeep home so that he'd have more freedom.

When I reached the clearing in the forest, I stopped at what I saw. Emmett was there waiting for me, but he wasn't alone. There was a group of about eight vampires- probably newborns- surrounding him. I didn't see Victoria, but that didn't mean that she was far away. That bitch was stealthy if nothing else.

Emmett turned toward me with worry on his face. He didn't look scared, and I wasn't surprised by this. Emmett was always itching for a fight, but even I knew that he was outnumbered. I reached into my jeans pocket and hit the 'send' button on my cell phone. I knew that Jasper's phone number was the last dialed, and we needed reinforcements.

The newborns picked up my scent then. They all turned to look at me, venom dripping from their mouths. It was now or never.


	50. Hostage

_Alright, we're moving on with the action!_

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Fifty: Hostage

I took a couple steps back, trying not to stumble over the branches and leaves scattered on the ground. Of course, that didn't happen. I fell on my backside, dropping my backpack near me at the same time. Three of the newborns started approaching me, their eyes darkening. I noticed that their movements were more fluid than the Cullens. It must be a side effect of being new. Super strength and great reflexes. Perfect. I was doomed.

Emmett was doing his best to fight off the other five vampires. He had managed to kick one back into a tree and was holding another one's arm. I saw two of them approaching him from behind and screamed. I closed my eyes and concentrated on them flying up into the trees, flying away from Emmett somewhere they couldn't hurt him. I pushed with my mind, clenching my fists on the ground.

I was trying so hard that my head started to hurt, and I started to feel dizzy. I clenched my fists tighter, digging them into the ground. I could feel the two newborns circling me, but I couldn't pay attention to that right now. Emmett was more valuable than me in this fight. If I could save him, he could save so many more.

"Back off my brother!" I felt it let loose then. I felt a rush of wind around me as two of the newborns flew back, crashing into numerous trees along the way, knocking some over. I looked at Emmett one last time before collapsing onto the ground, consumed by darkness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I felt drunk. Granted, I had never been drunk before. But I imagined it would feel like this. I couldn't move my body, I couldn't move my head. It felt like my brain was expanding and pushing against my skull. My mouth was dry, so dry. It felt like I'd been screaming for hours.

"Bella…" I heard someone whispering to me, but I couldn't make out who it was. It wasn't male or female. It was just a voice in the distant. "Bella…" Who was it? Where was I? Why the hell couldn't I just move or open my eyes?! I felt my eyelids flutter, trying to open. It didn't work. "Wake up, Bella…"

My eyelids fluttered again. I heard a groan come from my throat. I was slowly coming to, but I was still dizzy. I waited before opening my eyes. I was queasy, and I didn't feel like throwing up on whoever was waiting for me to wake up. I still hadn't figured out who it was. Who was it?

I suddenly saw an image in my head. Dirty blond, curly hair. Sitting atop a pale, chiseled face with deep golden eyes. A devilish smirk, a raised eyebrow. _Jasper._

"J—Jasper…" It barely even sounded like my voice. It was hoarse and strained. I could make out a small echo in the room. Where the hell were we that there was an echo?!

"He can't save you now." The voice was louder, more feminine. "None of your little family will save you now. You're mine."

My eyes snapped open, and I was blinded by light for a moment while they adjusted. I wish that they hadn't adjusted at all. I could make out pale skin, bright red hair, and eyes as black as the night. "Victoria." I didn't hear any fear in my voice, but it was there.

"There's the little bit of clarity I've been waiting for. You're lucky that I'm a patient person, Bella," she said in a scolding tone. She was standing over me, her hair falling around my face.

"You're not a person at all," I whispered. My throat was scratchy and sore. If she weren't a vampire, she probably wouldn't have been able to understand what I was saying.

She shrugged her shoulders with indifference. "I can't argue that. You seem to forget that neither is your little surrogate family. In fact, you don't really spend time with too many humans at all. Vampires, werewolves. What other dirty little secrets are you hiding?" She smirked at me and ran her long fingernails up my face to rest at my temple.

She knows about my power now. There was no chance in hell that I could escape, that I could get out of this alive. Might as well go down swinging.

"Wouldn't you like to know," I said, my voice stronger now. I swallowed, trying to find anyway to wet my throat to ease the ache in it.

"Oh, I know, Bella. I know." She stood from where she was crouched over me, giving me a better view of my surroundings.

It looked like we were in a cave somewhere. The ground and walls were covered in dirt and rock. We were in a circular room with two entrances. Neither had doors or were being blocked by anything, but I couldn't see past the entrances. It was complete darkness. I was lying on the floor, my hands tied behind my back and my legs tied together. That would explain not being able to move.

Victoria and I were the only ones in the room. I couldn't hear any speaking or moving beyond us. "Where are your little minions?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about them, Bella. They won't touch you. They're all under strict orders to not taste a drop of your blood. You're mine." She started circling around me, staring down at me in contempt.

"Oh, I'm not worried at all, Victoria. My family is out there looking for me right now. They'll get the werewolves involved and track my scent. Even if you kill me, you won't last long." I was proud of myself for allowing my voice to sound more confident. I have no idea how I did it, but I was proud none the less.

"Like you said, they have to find you first. And as far as killing you… there are no ifs about it. You're walking dead, Isabella Swan. How does it feel?" she antagonized me. Whatever, I was going to throw it right back.

"Well, I'm kind of tired; my throat is a little dry. Other than that, I'm good. Besides having to put up with you stalking me like a psychopath," I whispered back, trying to give an edge to my voice.

"You really don't know when to shut up, do you?" she asked with a hiss. "You've lost. Stop fighting."

"Would you stop fighting?" I asked her.

"I wouldn't lose," she said with confidence.

"We'll see about that," I said. "You couldn't even control Cameron and you were sleeping with him." Her eyes narrowed at me when I said it. Oh shit. I felt the sting across my cheek without ever seeing her raise her hand to me. My head was thrown to the side, landing in the dirt on the ground. That was going to leave a mark.

"I want to keep you alive for awhile longer, Bella, but you're making it very difficult," she said through clenched teeth. "And people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Aren't you sleeping with you best friend's ex-boyfriend who also happens to be your ex-boyfriend's brother? Naughty, naughty girl."

It all clicked now. My being with Jasper was going to benefit her more than we knew. We had all been waiting for her to have some master plan, some strategy. She didn't. She wanted to keep me alive so that she could bargain with Jasper. He had military training. He had led an army of newborn vampires once upon a time. I had started out as her target but now was so much more. I was leverage.

"I'm seeing more clarity in your eyes there, Bella. What are you thinking?" she asked. She hovered over me closer, causing me to try and move back toward the wall. I wanted to sit up, to get a better view of my surroundings. I would have to figure out which way the exit was after I threw her.

"Are you thinking about sending me flying with your little power?" she teased.

My head snapped up to look in her eyes, and I'm sure that my expression was fearful. "What are you talking about?" I asked with a weak voice.

"My men told me that you were able to throw some of them across the forest while they were fighting one of your bodyguards. Pretty impressive," she whispered in my ear. She pulled me up to a sitting position and shoved me back into the wall. I could hear my back slam against the rock. Another mark.

"I could definitely use your power for what I have planned," she said with an insightful expression on her face. She could act smart all she wanted. I knew that she was a dumbass, though.

"What is your plan? To capture me here and talk me to death?" I looked up at her again, this time with disdain and boredom across my face.

"I thought you had figured it out, Bella. I'm going to lure Jasper here and bargain with him. Instead of watching you die by my hand, he's going to turn you," she said with a shrug.

"Why do you care if I'm a vampire?" I asked her. This didn't make sense.

"Because once he gets a taste of human blood again, he won't go back to deer and rabbits. And you won't want to leave him. So then I'll kill the rest of your family so that you're both free to join my army. Your power will be quite useful."

I said nothing, shock seeping into me. This is what she wanted. She wanted me and Jasper to join her. Was she crazy?! The answer to my question came to me in the form of deep laughter coming from the doorway.


	51. The Rescue Mission

_Okay, I want to let everyone know that I am NOT abandoning either of my stories. It might take longer for me to get chapters out, because I'm dealing with some emotional times in my real life right now so all I ever want to do is sleep._

_I wanted to get this chapter out and posted, though. I feel bad for making you guys wait so long. Hope it doesn't suck._

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

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Learning to Live Again

Chapter Fifty-One: The Rescue Mission

_Jacob POV_

Was this bitch serious? Did she think that we wouldn't pick up her scent and come after Bella? Hello?! We're wolves. Kinda comes with the territory. I was closing in on Bella's scent, and it was surrounded by the disgusting aroma of vampire. Nothing familiar, so I knew it had to be the newborn blood-suckers. The Cullens were probably on their way now. I had Seth leading them, because he seemed to be able to get along with everyone, including the Cullens. He didn't have as many emotional ties with them as I did, though.

I was no fan of the family, but I knew that they cared about Bella. That's why I answered my phone when Alice had called me earlier this afternoon. I had just gotten done with my classes for the day and was hanging out at the cliffs with Quil and Embry when my phone rang. Alice had been in a panicked state, having just had a vision of Emmett and Bella being attacked by Victoria's little bitches. We had arrived just in time to see Jasper, Edward, and Emmett dismembering the last of them.

Jasper's face had been raw anger. I had gone up to his side and had almost taken a bite. Thankfully I had quick reflexes, too. He was caught up in his own world, making it his mission to kill anyone or anything that had threatened Bella. I was finally starting to like the guy.

Running through the woods, we had decided that I would run ahead of everyone to reach Bella and the others would stay back and take care of her minions. Jasper- of course- wanted to rush to Bella, but our families needed him to stay behind with them. It was a no secret that he had the most skill and experience in fighting. I still didn't know why, but I figured that I would be told if it was necessary for me to know.

Rosalie, Cameron, Esme, and Alice had all joined us in time for me to get a track on Bella's scent. The rest of the pack found us shortly after, teaming up. My head was all over the place right now as I dodged trees and jumped over rocks. I was in wolf form right now. I needed the bonus features of speed and scent. My best friend's life was on the line.

I was reaching the edge of the woods, there were fewer trees for me to avoid. I noticed a clearing up ahead that was surrounded by mountains. She must be on the other side… or the inside. It would be hard to find her, but I didn't have a choice.

_Jake, Jasper is asking if you're close to Bella yet._

It was Seth's voice in my head. He had convinced Sam to let him join in on the battle, just another thing to make Leah hate Sam more than she already did. Since her and I had gotten together, she had lost some of the hostility that she harbored but I understood that it was still hard for her at times. I understood better than anyone, and that was why we were a perfect fit.

_I'm reaching the mountains, and her scent is getting strong. She's got to be in one of the caves somewhere. I'll let you know as soon as I find her. How's everything going on your end? How's Leah?_

Her voice was the next one I heard. _I'm fine, Jake. Having a blast over here without you is all. All the Cullens are here now. We've got a burning pile started for the remains of the vamps that we've already taken care of. They move so fast that it's almost like there are twice as many as there really are. Don't worry about us, though. Just find Bella so that Jasper will stop annoying us. Oh shit, Seth just told them where you are so he and Edward have taken off to find you._

I was glad that they were coming. Once I had Bella, my main concern was to get her away from the psychopath who held her captive. And I knew that Jasper wanted to take a swing at the bitch as well. Probably Edward, too. I wasn't really kidding myself. I wanted her head on a platter, even more than other blood-suckers. This bitch wanted to kill my best friend.

I picked up my pace without knowing it. I was only a few yards from the mountains now. I could hear some whispering and recognized Bella's voice. It was softer than usual, strained. She better be okay when I get there or else Jasper and Edward won't have any pieces left.

I was at the mountains now and searching for an entrance inside. I knew that Victoria would have brought Bella into the caves. There were tunnels going in so many different directions. She probably had more newborns vampires waiting inside too.

_I'm going into the caves now. I can hear them talking so I know that Bella's still alive._

_Of course she's still alive, Jacob._ I heard Seth's voice ring through my mind. He was still an optimistic kid. It probably never even went through his mind that any of us were in real danger of our lives. I knew that I was egotistical, but I could still be real.

I phased back into my human form, quickly slipping on my denim shorts. Nobody needed an eyeful right now. It was easier to fit in the tunnel when I was in human form, but now I couldn't smell as strongly. It was dark and a tight fit, but I could still hear whispers coming from not too much farther into the rock. I needed to be careful, because I didn't know if there were others inside or if she had already picked up on my scent. Apparently wolves smelled nasty to vampires as well.

I could hear the voices get louder and knew I was on the right trail to Bella. I turned another corner and could understand what they were saying now.

"I'm seeing more clarity in your eyes there, Bella. What are you thinking?" So this screechy-ass voice was Victoria. She didn't sound very frightening to me, just psychotic. "Are you thinking about sending me flying with your little power?" Shit, she knew about Bella's power. No chance in her using it now.

"What are you talking about?" That was Bella. Her voice was weak but not shaky. That's my girl. Staying cool in a crisis.

"My men told me that you were able to throw some of them across the forest while they were fighting one of your bodyguards. Pretty impressive." There was a pause and I heard some rustling and something hit a rock. I moved faster. That bitch needed to get her hands off Bella now. "I could definitely use your power for what I have planned."

"What is your plan? To capture me here and talk me to death?" I could hear the edge in Bella's voice and was overcome with pride. I slowed my pace, not wanting to be too loud in case she wasn't as absorbed in her bantering with Bella.

"I thought you had figured it out, Bella. I'm going to lure Jasper here and bargain with him. Instead of watching you die by my hand, he's going to turn you." Her voice was more psychotic now, probably because she was talking some crazy shit.

"Why do you care if I'm a vampire?" What was it with all these damn blood-suckers wanting to turn my best friend into one of them?! Find your own damn family and leave mine alone!

"Because once he gets a taste of human blood again, he won't go back to deer and rabbits. And you won't want to leave him. So then I'll kill the rest of your family so that you're both free to join my army. Your power will be quite useful."

I could see light at the end of this dirt hallway and approached it. I hadn't run into any of her minions, so I'm betting that she had isolated herself and Bella. Good. One on one was easier to deal with. I came up to the doorway, processed all that Victoria had said and broke into laughter.

Both heads turned to look up at me. Bella let out a sigh of relief and a smile crossed her face. That's right; I'm here to save you. Victoria looked surprised for a second but covered it up just as quickly. She sneered at me. Whatever, you're not intimidating.

"So you're the psychotic blood-sucker we've all been tracking down? Not really that scary if you ask me. Other than the bad hairdo," I announced as I stepped into the room.

She stood up straight and took a step toward me. "You're not scary either, dog," she said with a menacing tone to her voice. "And you came alone. Even better."

I noticed that Bella raised her eyebrow at this. She was surprised the others weren't here to rescue her, probably hurt that I wasn't Jasper. She would see him soon enough. I had more important matters to attend to.

"Alone or not, honey, you're toast," I said. I took a step inside the small dirt room. I noticed that there was another entrance that Bella was closer to. Her hands were tied behind her back, but I could run past Victoria and grab her at the same time before heading out the other entrance. Or I could wait until the cavalry arrived.

"Are you trying to think of your grand master plan? Save the damsel in distress? Does it really matter? You won't get the girl at the end anyway," the redhead taunted me. She really was a stalker. She knew way too much about our twisted little lives.

"I already have a girl, thanks. But I would like my best friend back, you pathetic bitch," I growled. I needed to be ready to phase into the wolf so that I could tear her to shreds.

I could hear Edward and Jasper approaching outside. _When you come inside, veer left. Run about a half a mile inside and you'll see some light at the end of a hallway. We're in an open, dirt room. Bella's okay, but she's still weak. Victoria knows about her power and she wants to make Jasper turn Bella to keep them on her team._

"You shouldn't use such hard language, child," Victoria warned. She took another step toward me and started to work herself into a crouch. "You're strength is no match for my experience," she warned.

"Think what you want, but I've got reinforcements on the way. And all your players are toast by now," I announced with a smirk. "I don't know why you even thought you would win once you heard that the Cullens had extra help from us. You're more delusional than I expected."

Bella was leaning against the wall, working herself up into a standing position. She edged closer to the other entrance while Victoria circled me. I could see her mind working, trying to get herself worked up so that she could use her power on Victoria. She would never learn.

"So are we going to dance all night? Or can we get started fighting?" I asked.

"Not without me, you aren't," I heard coming from behind me.


	52. The End of the Line

_I know it's been awhile. Rest easily, all. I'm not abandoning any of my fics. I've just been busy lately and no ideas have been flowing that freely. I'd rather wait until they came rather than post a forced-out chapter that's going to suck._

_And please, no more PMs asking me to update. It'll come when it's ready. I'm not giving up, and neither should you._

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

* * *

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Fifty-Two: The End of the Line

_Jasper POV_

"I'm so glad to see you join the party! I was surprised that you didn't show up first actually," Victoria said as she inched closer to Bella, making sure to stay between us. I walked into the small room, crouched and ready to attack. Edward came in behind me, standing tall in order to take in the situation.

"I'm here now, and that's all that matters," I said with a hiss. "Get the hell away from her!" I took a step forward, standing next to Jacob. He was tense and I could feel his anger growing; he was getting ready to phase back when needed.

Apparently Victoria was a complete idiot, because instead of listening to my words she grabbed Bella's arm and pulled her toward herself instead. Before I could lunge forward, Victoria had a hand grasped around Bella's neck and another grasped around her arm.

_What's she thinking, Edward?_

"You know you're at the end of the line now, Victoria," Edward said out loud. He was looking into her eyes, still standing tall and confident. I wish I could feel that way right now. My only concern was to get Bella out of here safely and run away with her where no one would ever find us again.

"Your only confidantes are either dead or have turned against you. Your original plan to kill 'my mate' has been uprooted, because Bella and I aren't even together anymore. Instead of just letting your bitterness go, you decided to try another angle but it's not holding up quite the way you would expect it," he antagonized. My brother did make me laugh sometimes. Very rarely.

"What do you know about anything, Cullen?" she hissed at him, tightening her grip on Bella's neck. I heard Bella whimper softly, holding back tears in her eyes as she looked at me. She mouthed 'I love you' to me as if it were the last time she'd get to say it. "You're living in a fantasy world where humans and vampires can interact with no repercussions. That's not the truth, you need to know that. They're food for us, that's how it's always been."

"That's how it is for you, but we've learned differently. You don't understand; that's fine. We don't care about your opinions, but we do care for Bella. We're not going to let you harm her," Edward continued. It was like he was trying to talk her down from a ledge. _Who cares about her?! Just get Bella!_

I was done waiting. "Look, bitch," I started, making sure to draw Victoria's attention to me. "There are two ways to do this, hard and easy. You can either hand over my girlfriend now without a fight, and I'll make it quick and painless for you. Or you can put up a fight, and I'll enjoy slowly torturing you for any pain that you've caused her." My voice was coming out in a growl, and I could sense fear from Bella. I didn't know if it was fear of Victoria or me. It wasn't important right now; we'd deal with that later.

"You know that I'm not scared of you," Victoria purred. Her grip loosened on Bella, though. She was now only holding her by her arm. If Jake and I could tackle Victoria then Edward could get Bella safely out of here. With the grip Victoria had, it could break Bella's arm. I didn't want her to get hurt because of my impatience.

"She's had worse, Jasper," Edward whispered for my ears only. I shrugged. Neither of us wanted to hurt her, but it was the lesser of two evils. If only we could know what she was thinking. Or at least tell her to get out of the way while we attacked.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Victoria antagonized. "You're all crouched and ready to attack. If you're so sure that I won't get out of this alive then come and get it," she said without a waiver to her voice. She knew this was the end of the road. This made her even more dangerous, because if she was going down then she would want to take someone down with her.

Bella was the closest to her, so she was the obvious choice. Edward and I were faster than the red-head, but neither of us willing to play roulette with Bella's life. If she didn't make it out of this, I didn't expect us too either. There was no way either of us could live in a world that didn't include Bella Swan.

"Quite the predicament you're in, isn't it?" Victoria continued to taunt us. "You want to come after me but at what price? I could kill her before you got to her… or worse." Victoria pulled Bella closer to her, still only keeping a grip on her arm. Bella looked up at her with bitter hatred in her eyes. I knew that her mind was working, and I was terrified of what she was going to do.

"If you're going to kill me, just do it already. I'm sick of listening to your whining," she said steadily. Her voice was neither antagonizing nor fearful, she was just resigned. Victoria snapped.

As the red-headed vampire raised her arm to smack Bella across the face, Jacob lunged at her from behind in wolf form while Edward slinked in from the other side and spun Bella out of Victoria's arms right after her hand made contact with Bella's cheek.

"Get her out of here! We'll take care of Victoria," I whispered harshly to my brother. I didn't wait to see him take Bella away. Jacob had managed to pin Victoria to the ground, a hard feat even though he was over twice her size. She was struggling underneath him, trying to find a way out of the mess she had brought upon herself.

"Let her up, Jacob. She's mine," I said with an even voice. He turned to look at me, and I could see the questions in his eyes. "Block the entrance just in case she gets past me… but we won't have to worry about that."

Instantly, Jacob was on his feet- or paws, I guess- and was pacing back and forth between the two exits to the small clearing we were in. She sprang up off her back but didn't have enough time to stop my attack. I was in front of her and had a grip on her shoulders before she could even hiss at me. And just like that, the world stopped.

I let myself be overtaken by my anger and my basic instincts. I head-butted her at the same time that I yanked on her arms, pulling them from her body. I tossed them to the side and wrapped my arms around her head, pulling and yanking. She let out a blood-curdling scream as I finished dismembering her. Jake- being the good puppy that he was- had changed back into human form and had managed to get a fire started in the small clearing.

I tore into Victoria's body while Jacob gathered the other pieces and threw them in the fire. Once we were finished, we both just stood back watching the flames burn her remains, making sure that she was history.

"Have you gotten any further reports from your pack?" I asked, needing to know that this was over.

"Seth told me that our families managed to get all the newborns taken care of with minor injuries. Sam got bit pretty badly while he was looking out for Leah for me. That only managed to piss her off, because she can take care of herself. Cameron took a few bites as well when he was trying to lure some newborns away from Alice. I guess she got pissed as well, since she had warned him not to intervene. Those two would actually be friends if they weren't so stubborn," Jake teased.

"I'm glad no one was hurt worse," I said. The flames were dying down now, but I couldn't make myself move. All I wanted was to run to Bella and hold her tight, making sure she was okay. I wasn't that naïve, though. While she was physically unharmed, she wasn't okay. She would never be okay. Sadly, I was beginning to understand Edward's original apprehensiveness regarding bringing her into our family.

I would never be as stupid as my brother and leave her, but I didn't want to put her in danger either. I needed to know that there was no one else out there that would be wanting to hurt her, take her from us. I just didn't know where to start. The only solution I could see was to turn her, and I knew that she wasn't ready for it. She thought she was, but I knew better.

"Stop over-thinking everything and just go to her, Jasper," I heard my brother's voice behind me. "She needs you right now. She's at home, crying on Rosalie's shoulder. She made me come check on you to make sure that you were okay," he explained.

That was all I needed. I got up and went to find my girl.


	53. Promises of Forever

_First of all – this is it. I know that it's taken me a ridiculous amount of time to post the finale & epilogue. I am sincerely sorry; however, Real Life does tend to kick my ass from time to time. I work 80 hour weeks, sleep about 3 hours a day if possible and then try to spend some time with my family. My few guilty pleasures have taken a back seat, this being one of them._

_There will be an epilogue posted tomorrow – it is already written but I wanted to post this final chapter first to alleviate any confusion from a double posting. I had originally planned to extend to a sequel but I'm not sure anymore because I want to focus on my other two fics first. (Emmett's Undoing & Becoming Bella.)_

_That being said – if there is a sequel, it won't be coming for a long time. Sorry._

_Thank you all so much for your patience, support and encouraging words. This was my first Twilight fic – and really my first serious fic – and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it._

_The next story I will be tackling is Emmett's Undoing – it's going to be short and sweet, just to finish it out. Then I'm hoping to spend a great amount of time devoted to Becoming Bella as there have been mountains of ideas pop into my head for this story. I'm working on creating a blog to post the characters, outfits, rooms, songs, etc. that go along with the story as well. I'm really trying here and would appreciate any and all support. I'll be updating my profile with more information on that as it progresses – and as I hopefully have more free time._

_Hope you like the ending._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy- doing dirty things with the Cullen boys- to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

Learning to Live Again

Chapter Fifty-Three: The Beginning of Our Future

_Bella POV_

I finally let the tears fall as I clutched onto Edward's shoulders. His speed – mixed with the new blurriness that my tears were providing me - wasn't exactly helping with my nausea but what could I do? I had no control over my life anymore, no control at all. I was either falling in love with a vampire or running from a blood-thirsty one. I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever find a happy medium here somewhere. I had seen normal, functional relationships on television, so I was pretty sure it wasn't only a myth. Don't get me wrong – I am completely in love with Jasper. And we are happy together. It's just that the couples on television never had to worry about all of this shit!

I didn't even notice that Edward had stopped running until I felt Rosalie stroking my hair. I blinked, clearing my eyes of tears, and took in my surroundings. I was lying on mine and Jasper's bed, my head in Rosalie's lap. Edward was sitting at the edge of the bed watching me with a worried expression on his face.

"You're furrowing your eyebrows, Edward," I whispered.

"I can't help that I worry about you, Bella," he replied.

"Is anyone hurt?"

"Everyone is fine, sweetheart. The dogs have a few bumps and bruises, but they heal quickly," Rosalie reassured me. "You should worry about yourself – you're the one without special powers."

"You know that I'm alright. Otherwise you would smell the blood," I grunted out. Now was not the time to be treated as a child. "Where's Jasper?" Tears started falling again; I was lonely without him. As trying and dysfunctional as my life was, he was the one constant. I knew that at the end of the day, if I had Jasper next to me then all would be well.

"He and Jacob are taking care of Victoria," Edward answered. I heard Rose hiss under her breath, her distaste for Victoria obvious. Right there with you, sister.

"You just left him there?"

"Bella, Jasper is the most skilled fighter in our family. Add the help of Jacob and I'm sure that they're fine. Plus, I couldn't deny him the opportunity to protect you," he said softly. "It's what I would want."

"Well, what _I_ want is for you to go get him and drag his ass back to me! Now!" I sat up and looked Edward directly in the eye. I don't know why I was being so nasty to him. I was just so scared that Jasper would get hurt and not return to me. "Please."

He was out the window without a sound.

"Still doing whatever you ask," Rosalie murmured with a chuckle. I rolled my eyes as I sat up on the bed. "It never ceases to amaze me how you manage to have all of the guys wrapped around your little finger."

"Oh, shut up, Rose. It's not like they wouldn't do anything for you either," I said with a sigh as I leaned against the headboard and situated myself amongst our pillows. I wasn't ready to joke yet; I just needed to see Jasper and feel him next to me. I needed to know that this was all behind us now and that we could move on with our future.

"It will get better, won't it?" I barely recognized my own voice. It was full of fear and naivety; I sounded like a child.

"I think it will be better according to your standards, yes," Rosalie answered. At least she was honest with me. "I've told you before that I don't agree with your decision to become a vampire; however, you can't seem to stop falling in love with them. It's in your best benefit to at least have super-strength," she paused with a shrug. "And plus – you can go balls out in fucking Jasper. I know that you're excited by that idea."

We both shook with chuckles. Of course Rosalie would be the one to make me laugh at a time like this. I admit that I was put off by her blunt nature when we first met, but now I was comforted by it. With so many secrets and hidden agendas surrounding our family all the time, the truth was a light in the darkness.

Our conversation didn't get to delve any deeper, because the person I needed most in the world jumped through our bedroom window. Our eyes met instantly and I couldn't stop the relieved sob from escaping my throat. I was engulfed by his arms instantly – and relieved to be so. I didn't notice Rosalie quietly extract herself from our bedroom, because I was too distracted by Jasper's smirk lighting up his face as he slid into the bed next to me and pulled me flush against his hard body. It was comforting to know that my presence could calm him and vice versa.

I don't know how long we stayed holding each other; I'm sure it only seemed like a moment to him. I vaguely heard noises from downstairs – our family returning home, talking about the days events and how lucky we were to have no casualties and no interfering Volturi members. The noises all combined into one; it was as if I was underwater, hearing sounds from the surface. Jasper and I were in our own bubble – our own world.

"I almost lost you today, darling," he finally said, whispering into my hair as he placed a gentle kiss atop my head. He pulled me further into his arms, cradling me against his chest and laid against the headboard of our bed.

"Same goes for you," I replied as I breathed in his scent and wrapped my arms around his waist. I frowned as he chuckled. "I'm serious, Jasper. I know that you're strong and powerful and smart, but something could have happened to you as well." I turned my head to look up at him.

"You worry too much about me, Bella. I can handle the fighting; what I can't handle is if you were hurt or – worse." He leaned down and pulled into a long, deep kiss. We explored each other's mouths, needing to feel connected to each other once again.

I reveled in the feel of his tongue against mine. The stress of the day was wearing thin on me, and I needed his support – his touch. Jasper needed the closeness, too. I had been with him enough times to know the signs. I let him gently nudge me back to lie on our bed as he moved positioning to hover over me, placing his leg in between mine and pressing up against me. He had been with me enough times to know that this was my favorite position, him nestled on top of me as close as he could get.

His kisses moved from my mouth, down to neck with soft nips along the way. Of course, this caused me to moan like the sexually-hyper-aware teenager that I am and grind my hips against his. I could feel his smirk against my collarbone as he continued his trail downward. Smug bastard. Oh, but how I loved him. My hands clutched at his waist before moving to his back and then pushing underneath his pants. I pulled him flush against me and chuckled when I heard his soft growl.

"Something wrong, darling?" I teased. I knew that I was antagonizing him, but like Rosalie had said earlier – I really did enjoy going balls out with Jasper, especially now. I couldn't get close enough to him after today.

Jasper mock glared at me before dipping his head back down to my collarbone. Our clothes were quickly thrown haphazardly around the room until he was naked above me and I was more than ready for him. Then – in a completely uncharacteristic move – he stopped. Jasper stared at me for a good minute before I tried to thrust my hips up toward him, wanting to make love to my amazing partner. But he moved his back slightly, avoiding contact.

"What's wrong?" I asked, not feeling rejected by him but more confused than anything else.

"You're beautiful," he whispered as he gently swept a strand of hair off my forehead with his hand. "It never ceases to amaze me how much I completely love you – and after such a short time of really being with you." I beamed up at him as he leaned down to place a gentle, innocent kiss on my lips. He continued speaking, in a whisper. I would almost think he was nervous if I didn't know him so well. "I know that you're not one for labels and that we've already decided to spent the rest of eternity together, but…"

He paused, and then I did believe that he was nervous and unsure of himself. Ironic, considering his hard-on was waving proudly in between our naked bodies. I moved my hand up to cup his cheek, making him keep eye contact with me. "What are you trying to say, baby? You know that you can tell me anything."

"I know," he whispered back to me. He brushed his lips across mine again before continuing. "Marry me, Bella." And then he sunk into me, making me gasp and shiver. Instead of waiting for an answer, Jasper made love to me slowly. I was slightly distracted; however, I gave myself over to his movements. How could I ever deny Jasper anything he wanted? Whether it be sex or marriage, if he wanted it then he would have it. I would give – happily. Once we were both sated and I was exhausted, we spoke again.

"Jasper… I would love nothing more than to be yours forever. Of course I'll marry you," I whispered against his neck, curling myself around his body more. We both shook with happy chuckles.

"I don't have a ring, darlin'. I wasn't really expecting to propose to you today – while we were making love. I should've made it more special for you, but I just had to go with how I was feeling," he shrugged.

"It was perfect for me, Jasper. Just like you are perfect for me. And you know that I don't care about rings, but if you want to get me one then I'd be happy to wear it for everyone to see."

"Forever," Jasper stated, pulling me until I was lying on top of him and clinging to him like the lifeline that he was.

"Forever," I promised back before moving to sit astride him, initiating another slow and sweet round of love-making.


	54. Epilogue

_Hopefully you read my massive A/N in my prior posting of Chapter 53. However – there has been a slight change of plans. I've decided not to continue with a sequel. I think the ending here with their plans for the future is all that's needed for Jasper & Bella right now. I hope that you all agree and again – thank you so much for your support and patience. It means a lot to me._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters in Twilight, or anything related to the books and/or movies. If I did, I would be way too busy - doing dirty things with Emmett & Jasper - to sit down at my laptop and write this story. The scenes and general plot ideas that I did borrow from Stephenie Meyer have been revamped to fit my story.**

Learning to Live Again

Epilogue

_Bella POV_

My knee was bouncing as I anxiously waited for my name to be called. Today was supposed to be happy and full of laughing and picture-taking and making memories with your family. I'm sure I would have all that later, but right now I was just extremely uncomfortable. I was sitting here surrounded by classmates in this God-awful robe, sweating to death. Don't get me wrong, I liked the decent weather – and was even more appreciative that the clouds were blocking the son so that my fiancé could see me graduate high school for what I'm sure would be the first of many times.

That was another thing on my mind… my change. Actually, so much had already changed. After everything died down with the fight, Carlisle had sat us all down for some decision-making time. It was decided that we would in fact let Charlie in on our secret, but we had to come up with the best way to tell him. I felt that it would be ridiculous to go along with Emmett's plan of just going home and flat-out telling him. I was a bit more subtle than my brother, though. The truth is I just couldn't fake my death. I couldn't do that to Charlie; it would devastate him. And I couldn't live in a world where there was no possible chance for me to see my father again. Maybe I was selfish for that, but I didn't care. He was my dad.

"Jessica Stanley… Isabella Swan…" I heard announced by our principal. As soon as my name was read aloud, there were cheers from the crowd of family and friends. I glanced over my shoulder with a bright smile on my face as I walked toward the stage.

I only stumbled once while I looked at my father cheering, seated in between Jasper and Jacob who were both standing and clapping for me as well. Leah was next to Jacob, smiling but not really interested in the scene. I didn't blame her – she was never going to warm up to me. She didn't like that Jacob had a crush on me before he imprinted on her and she really didn't like that I was going to be turned into a vampire in the next month. At least she was being polite today.

I grabbed my diploma and started walking back down the aisle to take my seat again. This time, I noticed that the rest of the Cullens were seated behind my father, also cheering and smiling for me. They had been through dozens of graduations during their lives, but I know that this meant more to them. It was a way of helping me say good-bye to my old life and welcoming me into their family – even more so than I already was. I gave a quick wink to Jasper before I sat down and turned toward the stage again.

As the rest of my class was called up to get their recognition, I looked down at my hand and smiled. Jasper had kept his promise and gotten me a ring. We had actually gone shopping for it together. He wanted to make sure that I loved it, and I wanted to make sure that he didn't break the bank in purchasing it. We had driven to Port Angeles and looked in countless stores, not finding one that really caught our attention. We were both about to give up out of sheer frustration when Alice had texted my cell phone and told me to stop walking and go into the store directly across the street from where we stood.

I had been skeptical at first when I noticed it was a pawn shop, but I should have known not to bet against Alice. There- in the window display case- was a simple round diamond with two sapphire accents. When we asked the owner about it, he explained that the seller had told him it had been in her family since the Civil War. If that didn't sell us on it, nothing ever would. Of course, we had updated the settings – it would need to last me an eternity after all.

Once the fight with Victoria and the newborns had been settled and we'd all had a day to relax, Carlisle had made us sit down as a family and have a serious discussion about my future. It was decided that Jasper and I would move to Alaska, under the pretense of going to school there. Apparently they had a contact name Jenks that could falsify some documents for me to show my parents – an acceptance letter, financial aid forms, report cards. It was pretty crazy to me, but I wasn't about to ask questions that I didn't really want the answers to.

I would make up stupid lies to Charlie about not being able to come home to visit during the holidays – and I would feel guilty, I'm sure. Well, maybe I would feel guilty. I wasn't sure exactly what I would feel after my change. It was going to be immediate. As soon as Jasper and I arrived to our secluded cabin in Alaska, he was going to change me. Carlisle was going to stay for a few weeks to help with the transition and Esme would visit and take him home. As much as I loved my family, I needed it to be just Jasper and myself for awhile. But I also knew that it was important for Carlisle to be there so that we could figure out what was going to happen with my newfound super-powers.

I was scared and nervous and excited and so many more emotions that I couldn't really explain. I could tell that Jasper was becoming a little unnerved when he was around me and my cocktail of feelings, but he was such a trooper. He just tried to calm me the best he could and when that didn't work, he sexed me up until I was practically numb. I preferred the latter – and so did he.

Charlie had taken the news of our moving- and engagement- quite well. He only threatened once to lock me in my room until I was thirty. I think having a family dinner with everyone helped. He was able to see how well I fit in with the Cullens and how much they all truly cared about me. I think he even hated Edward a little bit less – a small miracle in itself.

My mother was another story. She yelled at me for wanting to move somewhere that was even colder and farther away from her than I was already. Then she told me it was a mistake to get married so young, because it was such a huge commitment. If only she knew that I was making an even bigger and deeper commitment than she could even fathom. I had pledged to love and live happily with Jasper for eternity. And I was ready for it.

Last year, I thought that I would be with Edward forever – even with as apprehensive as he had been. But now I knew better. Edward and I were exactly what we each needed at that time. I was nervous about moving here and he still hated the creature that he thought he was. We were good for each other. We helped each other grow into better people. Edward was more mature now – not needing everything to go his way. I was stronger and more independent. Then Jasper came along and made me more secure with myself. He was what I needed for the rest of my life – the rest of forever.

I stood up with the rest of my class and smiled as I threw my graduation cap into the air. I turned around toward Jasper and beamed even more brightly at him. I saw him mouth the words 'I love you' to me and whispered them back. I knew he understood me – he always had and he always would.


End file.
